


To All the Setters I've Ever Loved

by stayvgolden



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drunken Confessions, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Pining, Playlist, Post-Time Skip, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, fake date
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 74,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25898680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stayvgolden/pseuds/stayvgolden
Summary: Hinata opened the box and showed them the contents. A few movie tickets, a picture of the Karasuno 1st years, a picture of his little sister, some plane tickets, and a couple of envelopes; one navy blue and one turquoise.Kuroo spoke up first, “Uh no offense Shorty but I don’t really see what was so embarrassing. All of this stuff looks pretty standard in the memory department—““What’s in the envelopes?” Kenma interrupted.Hinata sighed, that’s what he was hiding this whole time. He should have expected Kenma to notice immediately. “Well.. they are letters I never sent. I just never got the courage to and it’s too late now.”Now Kuroo was interested, “Are they angry letters? Did you finally—“Kenma smacked his shoulder, “They are obviously love letters you idiot.”Or:Hinata has been in love three times in his life and had only ever told his letters. In a moment of liquid courage and encouraged by his best friends, he decides to share his letters with the three setters he has loved.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 244
Kudos: 441





	1. What's the Worst that Could Happen?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata came out of his room to find Kenma and Kuroo cuddling on the couch. He was holding three envelopes in his hands. One navy blue, one turquoise, and one a color between gold and yellow.
> 
> Hinata cleared his throat, “Do you guys still think this is a good idea?”
> 
> Kenma and Kuroo both looked over at Hinata and nodded.
> 
> Hinata gasped, “I didn’t even tell you whose addresses I needed! I’m sorry- maybe this is a sign? Mayb—“
> 
> “The addresses are on the table Shorty. It’s now or never.” Interrupted Kuroo.
> 
> Hinata walked to the table and picked up a sheet of paper with scribbles on it. Sure enough, the names of the three men he had loved were on it. “How? How did you know?” He mumbled.
> 
> “Mostly process of elimination,” explained Kenma, “just do what feels right.”
> 
> Or:  
> Hinata has been in love three times in his life and had only ever told his letters. In a moment of liquid courage and encouraged by his best friends, he decides to share his letters with the three setters he has loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very slow burn but we are in this together.  
> This chapter is 6.1k+ words

Hinata heard a knock at the door, he was still laying in bed trying to convince himself that he was sleeping. “Come in” he said.

“Shoyo I can’t believe you still haven’t finished putting all your stuff away.” Kenma looked around the room full of boxes, if not for the bed you would think it was a storage closet.

“Aw it’s only been a couple of days. I can’t believe you’re up this early! It’s only 8am.”

“Actually, I’m on my way to bed.”

“That sounds more like it.” Hinata smiled, “Kenma, thank you again for letting me stay with you while I get my life sorted out”

“Stay as long as you like. Let me know if you need help unpacking, I can help you tonight. I’ll call Kuroo and we can finish faster.”

“Really?? That actually sounds like fun!”

“Okay, see you tonight”

Kenma left the room, Hinata stretched feeling the sun on his arms. Wow, did he miss the sun, and the sand, _and— never mind._ He shook his head and remembered why he was here. MSBY was having try outs and he knew it was the right time to come back, he was finally strong enough. Even if he would miss his time abroad or _who_ he spent it with.

Hinata got up, he had to finish unpacking today. His tryouts were in 2 days and he needed to get a good night’s sleep. Seeing all the boxes stressed him out and kept him from being able to sleep.

_If I can finish unpacking by tonight, I can sleep all day tomorrow and I’ll be ready for the tryouts. I can do this. But first, breakfast._

...

After breakfast and a jog around the neighborhood Hinata finally stopped procrastinating. He got through all but two boxes by the time Kenma woke up and Kuroo arrived.

“This is what you needed help with?” Kuroo asked as he pointed at the two boxes sitting in the perfectly organized room.

“Sho when did you do all this?” Kenma was shocked.

Hinata gave a nervous laugh as he rubbed his head, “well it has been 12 hours since we last spoke.” He sat on the floor leaning on the remaining boxes.

Kuroo laughed, “I guess you guys are on completely different schedules. I brought some pizza in case you’re both hungry, I’ll go get some plates.”

They ate in Hinata’s room and talked about jet lag, what Hinata was most excited to eat, and how little Kenma sleeps. Even though Hinata knew Kenma and Kuroo were together he didn’t feel out of place or like a third wheel at all, he felt at home here with his old friends.

Kuroo finished eating first and stood up, “Well, since I came here tonight to help I should at least let you rest a bit and start with these boxes. Hey Shorty how ‘bout I hold stuff up and you point me in the direction you want it?” Hinata’s mouth was full so he just nodded excitedly and tried to smile without showing all the food in his mouth.

Most of the stuff in the first box were clothes which Kuroo hung in the closet or folded neatly into drawers. Hinata watched him work, “Wow Kuroo-san you’re really good at folding clothes, you’re doing much better than I would have.”

Kenma smirked, “It’s because he gets so much practice putting MY clothes away.”

Kuroo gave him a sly smile, “ACTUALLY, it’s because I _like_ putting clothes away. It’s relaxing.”

Hinata couldn’t keep in his giggle.

Kuroo returned to the box and pulled out a dark wooden box with vines engraved on it. “Where do you want this?”

Hinata immediately jumped to his feet and stepped towards Kurro, “I’ll take that.”

Kuroo handed the box over without question while meeting Kenma’s eyes. Kenma looked just as confused as him. Hinata placed the box on his desk and when he looked back at his friends he could feel the change in the atmosphere.

“I’m sorry,” said Hinata, “that was rude of me and you’re just trying to help. I really am sorry I just get nervous. The box is— well it has a lot of memories in it and it’s just really important to me. That’s no excuse though, I’m so sorry.”

Kuroo smiled kindly, “It’s okay Shorty, we all have stuff like that. How about we go ahead and finish?”

They finished unpacking the other box with Hinata’s remaining things quickly. Although Kuroo didn’t seem upset, Hinata still felt guilty about his reaction. “Do you guys want to see some of my memories?”

Kenma looked at Kuroo and then back at Hinata. “It’s okay Shoyo you really don’t have to.” “Yeah Shorty, don’t feel pressured.”

Hinata took a deep breath, “No, I want to. I shouldn’t be ashamed of my past. It’s all been a part of how I have become who I am now.”

Hinata opened the box and showed them the contents. A few movie tickets, a picture of the Karasuno 1st years, a picture of his little sister, some plane tickets, and a couple of envelopes; one navy blue and one turquoise.

Kuroo spoke up first, “Uh no offense Shorty but I don’t really see what was so embarrassing. All of this stuff looks pretty standard in the memory department—“

“What’s in the envelopes?” Kenma interrupted.

Hinata sighed, that’s what he was hiding this whole time. He should have expected Kenma to notice immediately. “Well.. they are letters I never sent. I just never got the courage to and it’s too late now.”

Now Kuroo was interested, “Are they angry letters? Did you finally—“

Kenma smacked his shoulder, “They are obviously love letters you idiot.”

Hinata blushed, “Yes, but it’s over now so there’s really no reason to get too deep into the _who_ or _why._ ” He put everything back into the wooden box. “Thank you for helping me unpack, I’ll finally be able to sleep tonight.”

Kenma and Kuroo took this as their cue to leave the room and wish Hinata a good night. Hinata fell onto his bed.

_That was so embarrassing what if they had asked to read them or who they were for, I would have to move out from the embarrassment. Why did I keep them anyway?_

Hinata realized that the box had been holding the feelings he had shut inside. He had ignored all of the emotions while he worked to get stronger and chase his dream.

Hinata shook his head. _You don’t have time for this, close the box. There is still a lot to do, I have to do my best at tryouts or this will all have been for nothing._

Now that he was focused again, Hinata closed the box in his heart and then put his wooden box behind a workout bag in his closet. He would deal with that when the time came.

**Three weeks later**

Practice had just ended for Hinata and the rest of MSBY, these last few weeks Hinata has been getting used to his new team and playing volleyball inside again. It was thrilling, he hadn’t realized how much he missed the sounds of the court, from the ball’s impact to the squeaks from his shoes. And to top it off he loved his team, it felt like everything was falling in to place.

“Are ya up for some extra sets?” Atsumu asked with a sly smile even though he knew the answer. Hinata gave him a huge grin, “Of course!” It was like this everyday, during the week Bokuto would stay too but he always went home on time on the weekends, he didn’t like keeping Akaashi waiting. Hinata was about to jump when his phone rang, no one ever called so he couldn’t ignore it.

“Sorry, Atsumu-san. Hello, Kuroo-san is everything okay? You never call.”

Kenma: Shoyo where are you?

Hinata: _Kenma_? Why didn’t you use your own phone?

K: it was too far away, come home already

H: I was practicing with Atsumu—

K: Shoyo we haven’t seen you since you joined the team, you’re never home. It’s Friday night, come celebrate with us. Kuro said come home he brought drinks.

H: whats the occasion?

K: you being back, duh. Hurry up, we are waiting and the food is getting cold.

_Click_

Hinata shook his head but couldn’t help the giggle he let out.

“I guess ya can’t stay,” said Atsumu with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m sorry Atsumu-san, I haven’t seen my roommate in a while since I always stay late to practice with you. He just sounded so excited, Next time?”

Atsumu raised his eyebrow playfully, “Roommate?”

Hinata laughed, “it’s just my best friend Kenma, his boyfriend will probably be there too.”

“That’s a relief, and here I was startin to get jealous.” Atsumu winked.

Hinata couldn’t help the blush he felt in his cheeks. _WHAT? Is he kidding?_

“Atsumu-san—“

“Relax, Shoyo. I was kiddin! And call me Atsumu would ya? I don’t need the - _san_ ”

Hinata laughed and let out the breath he was holding, “Oh I know Atsumu-san! Uh I mean Atsumu.”

They cleaned up, grabbed their things, and walked outside together.

“Where did you leave your car?” asked Atsumu.

Hinata smiled, “actually I ride my bike here.”

“huh?”

Hinata points to a rack under a tree holding up a single black bike that Atsumu had never seen before. “It’s right over there, see!”

“You ride that to and from practice everyday?”

“Yeah! I’ve been doing it since high school, it’s a great warm up on my way here and a good cool down when I go home.”

“How long does it take ya to get home?”

Hinata thought for a moment, “about 30 minutes depending on how fast I ride.”

“THIRTY?? are ya serious? Sometimes we don’t leave here till late at night!”

“oh, uh I guess Im just used to it?”

Atsumu sighed and closed his eyes, “Come with me.” Atsumu used a serious tone Hinata hadn’t heard from him yet.

“Wh-what?” Hinata stuttered.

“Im takin you home, you’re not riding back today.” Atsumu explained.

Hinata shook his head, “ Oh no, It’s okay Atsumu-san I don’t mind at all, and I can’t leave my bike, I’ll be fine really.”

Atsumu looked into Hinata’s eyes, “Shoyo. I wasn’t askin.”

Hinata gulped at the shift in the atmosphere, _oh._

Atsumu took a step towards Hinata and reached out his hand slowly. Hinata tenses up, he feels heat spread across his face. _What is this? Why can’t I move? Am I breathing?_ Atsumu gently grabbed Hinata’s bag off his shoulder. _OH._

Atsumu smiled, “Now ya have to come with me. Don’t worry about the bike, if something happens to it I’ll buy ya a new one. And call me _Atsumu.”_

Atsumu began walking off with Hinata’s bag bringing Hinata back to life. He followed Atsumu without another word.

_What is this feeling?_

_Why am I.. disappointed?_

...

Hinata couldn’t believe how fast he has made it home, “Thank you very much Atsumu-s— I mean good night Atsumu thank you for the ride.” He still couldn’t get used to being so informal.

Atsumu gave him a small smile, “It was my pleasure, good night Shoyo.”

Atsumu drove off and Hinata couldn’t help but feel breathless. He hadn’t been that close to Atsumu, much less for that long and it was comforting and frightening at the same time. He could still smell the sweet smell of Atsumu and leather seats mixed with the musk of playing volleyball for hours together. Hinata had never stared at his profile before the way he did tonight. He even noticed the color his hair looked with the dashboard lights reflecting on him. _Did he always look this put together? How could he look so relaxed? Was I the only one who felt like they were on fire?_

Hinata’s thoughts were interrupted when his phone started ringing. “Hey Kenma, Im walking in now.” _Click_

Kenma and Kuroo were waiting for Hinata in the living room with a pile of meat buns and alcohol on the center table. They waited patiently while they played a video game.

“What’s all this?” Asked Hinata

“We’re drinking tonight, you need a break.” Said Kenma

“Why are you all red Chibi-Chan?” Asked Kuroo

“Uh I got a ride home from a teammate and the car was pretty warm.” Explained Hinata

Kenma looked away from the screen briefly, “what about your bike?”

Hinata forgot about leaving his bike, “well my teammate offered a bunch and I felt bad saying no, plus it was faster.”

Kuroo paused the game, “Oya? Who brought you?”

Hinata tried to use the most neutral voice he could muster, “Atsumu-san.”

Kenma and Kurro looked at each other knowingly and smiled.

Hinata panicked, “it’s not like that! He was just surprised I ride my bike every day and wanted to be nice. Plus I didn’t want to keep you waiting so I just said yes.” Hinata knew they wouldn’t believe him, “I’m going to take a quick shower so we can eat.”

Kuroo let out an evil cackle and Kenma smiled as Hinata walked to his room.

...

The night progressed and Hinata finally started to relax, the shower **_and_** drinks did him well. He was feeling pretty good, a little **_too_** good. They all sat on the floor talking and eating but mostly drinking. Hinata thought everything his friends said was funny and he forgot what he was so embarrassed about earlier. Kenma was sitting between Kuroo’s legs sipping his drink while Kuroo rested his chin on Kenma’s head and wrapped one arm around Kenma’s waist while he held his drink in the other.

 _They are so cute, they are usually never this affectionate in front of people. It must be the alcohol._ Hinata thought to himself making him giggle.

Kuroo looked over, “what’s got you so happy Shorty? Thinking of Atsumu?”

Hinata gasped, “No Kuroo-San! I wasn’t thinking of him just now, I was thinking you guys looked so nice together. And—”

“So you do think of him?” Kenma interrupted.

Hinata looked down at his drink, “well only recently really.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow, “so do you like him? Does he know?”

Hinata shook his head and started rambling, “No of course not, I couldn’t tell him. What if he doesn’t feel the same? Why would he? We haven’t known each other long and there’s no—“

“So you do like him then. Why wouldn’t he feel the same?” Kenma couldn’t believe what Shoyo had said.

Hinata was quiet as he thought of a response, “I don’t know, I’ve just never told anyone my feelings before. Whenever I’ve tried to confess, I always lose my words and panic. I’m too scared to say them out loud and I’m even more scared of the response I could get no matter what it could be. That’s why I wrote the letters you saw earlier... I really wanted to give them to.. uh to the people they were for but I was even too much of a coward to send them. I just can’t see myself putting myself out there just to get shut down or blocked.”

“You should tell him.” Kenma smiled encouragingly, “you are a great person Sho, anyone would be lucky to be liked by you. You can’t hold back your feelings or pretend they aren’t there, they aren’t going to go away.” Kenma leaned into Kuroo’s chest, “Trust me Shoyo, you never know what could happen.”

Kuroo put down his drink and wrapped both arms around Kenma. “Kenma is right Shoyo, and this may be the alcohol talking but just hear me out. I think you should tell **_all_** of them how you feel. Write Atsumu a letter since you don’t think you can confess in person and then we can send all **_three_** letters.”

“WHAT?” Hinata almost spit out his drink, “no way, I can’t do that! How could I after all this time? They would think I was- they would- ugh, I don’t even have their addresses anymore, they have definitely moved. It’s just not possible,”

Kuroo gave Hinata a sly smile, “OH ho ho but it **_IS_** possible my dear Shorty. I’m assuming these guys play volleyball, right? Just give me an hour, I’ll make some calls and I can guarantee you that I’ll have their current information ready. You just gotta say the word. So what do ya say Shorty, you in?”

Hinata’s mind was racing, _Was it really possible? Should he do it? Is it too late? Would he look stupid? Should he really **do it?** Is this a sign? Opportunities like this don’t come often. Is it the alcohol? Why do I feel so brave all of a sudden??_

Hinata looked at Kenma, “What do you think? Is this insane?”

Kenma looked at Kuroo and then back at Hinata, “I mean you should do what you want to do, don’t be pressured by Kuroo’s excitement. I feel like you already know what you **_want,_** you’re just letting your thoughts cloud that.”

Although Hinata had been drinking he felt a sudden clarity run through him, “you’re right, I’ve wanted the same thing since I wrote the letters. I’ve wanted them to know all this time.” Hinata jumped up, “Kuroo-San! I’m in, get me the addresses. I’m going to write my third letter and I am sending them **_all_** tonight.” Hinata quickly went to his room and started to write what he wanted to say to Atsumu.

...

Kuroo eyed Kenma once Hinata was out of the room, “Did you really mean what Shorty said you meant?”

Kenma yawned, “I actually didn’t really know what you guys were talking about, I just gave a generic answer that put things back on Shoyo.”

Kuroo chuckled, “I knew you didn’t understand, you drank too much. But I guess it was what Shorty needed to hear to take the chance.”

“What chance?” Asked Kenma, oblivious.

Kuroo rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, “He’s going to send all his love letters tonight. Do you want some pie?”

Kenma’s eyes widened, “there’s **_pie_** left?”

Kuroo laughed and kissed Kenma on the head before getting up, “I’ll get you a slice, but what about the rest of what I said? About the letters. Do you think he should send them? Or am I just a hopeless romantic?”

Kenma grabbed his boyfriend’s hand before he walked to the kitchen and answered quietly, “I think it’s sweet that you want him to be happy. It’s a good idea. If Sho doesn’t get the feelings out they are always going to weigh him down. It’s not even the feelings that are heavy, it’s the wondering ‘what if he likes me back’ that is unbearable. He should do it.” A blush came over Kenma’s cheeks, he’s usually not that open about how hard it was for him to confess his love for Kuroo. Kuroo leaned down and kissed Kenma deeply, he loved that he was so honest.

Kenma pulled away first, “pie please.” He said with a sweet smile.

...

Kenma took a bite of his pie, “Don’t you need to find some addresses for Shoyo?”

Kuroo had forgotten about that after kissing Kenma, “Oh shit. Okay I’m on it. Wait, who are the other letters for? I forgot to ask before he left.”

Kenma and Kuroo thought about who the other letters could be for, one navy blue and one turquoise.

“ ** _Kageyama_** ” they both said in unison.

Kenma looked at Kuroo, “There’s no way the dark envelope isn’t for him. They spent so much time together in high school.”

“So Shorty has a thing for setters,” Kuroo hypothesized out loud, “ ** _wait._** Don’t tell me the turquoise envelope is for **_YOU.”_** He gasped as he looked at his boyfriend.

Kenma rolled his eyes, “You’re an idiot, of course it isn’t for me. But you’re probably right about it being a setter. Someone Shoyo spent time with _after_ high school and _before_ he started playing with Atsumu. So someone from Brazil.”

Kuroo picked up his phone, “You better be right, I’m not above telling Shorty we’re madly in love and he doesn’t have a chance.”

Kenma smiled at his boyfriend’s pouting lips, “it isn’t, turquoise isn’t my color anyway.”

Kuroo’s head shot up, “pull up Shorty’s Instagram! I know I’ve seen that color on someone next to him on a beach somewhere earlier this summer.”

Kenma had the picture up seconds later, “you’re right, look at this selfie. I think the second letter is for Oikawa.”

Kuroo nodded his head and got to work.

...30 minutes later...

Hinata came out of his room to find Kenma and Kuroo cuddling on the couch. He was holding three envelopes in his hands. One navy blue, one turquoise, and one a color between gold and yellow.

Hinata cleared his throat, “Do you guys still think this is a good idea?”

Kenma and Kuroo both looked over at Hinata and nodded.

Hinata gasped, “I didn’t even tell you whose addresses I needed! I’m sorry- maybe this is a sign? Mayb—“

“The addresses are on the table Shorty. It’s now or never.” Interrupted Kuroo.

Hinata walked to the table and picked up a sheet of paper with scribbles on it. Sure enough, the names of the three men he had loved were on it. “How? How did you know?” He mumbled.

“Mostly process of elimination,” explained Kenma, “just do what feels right.”

Hinata picked up the drink he hadn’t finished and downed it all then started another that he quickly finished. He sat on the floor and wrote the addresses on his letters. _Am I really doing this? Should I wait until tomorrow to think it through? What the hell? I’m tired of always thinking things through. I poured my whole heart into these letters and somebody has to read them or else did the feelings even exist? F*ck it._

Kenma called a private mail carrier to come pick up the letters.

Hinata had one last drink, “Well that’s it then, there’s no changing my mind now. Thank you guys for all your help and for making me brave.”

Kenma smiled at his friend, “You finally did what you wanted to and not what you thought you should do. You should be proud.”

“Im sure love is headed your way soon Shorty.” Kuroo chimed in.

Hinata sighed, “Honestly, that would be nice.”

_I can’t believe I did it. I can’t say I’m not scared but I do feel lighter somehow. Like anything is possible. After all this time— I mean, What’s the worst that could happen? Oh **no.**_

**The Next Day**

Hinata woke up when he heard his phone fall off his night stand with a loud thud, the vibrations still audible as the phone kept ringing on the floor. Hinata grunted and rolled over, there is no way he wasn’t going to sleep in. The phone stopped ringing. _Finally._ He finally started dozing off to sleep when the phone started buzzing again.

Frustrated, Hinata reached his arm down to the the floor to grab the phone without shifting the rest of his body. He wanted to stay in the comfortable position as long as possible.

“Hello?” Hinata grunted

“Shoyo ya know how long I’ve been waitin?” Atsumu asked playfully

“Atsumu-san?? What? We don’t have practice today”

Atsumu chuckled, “so ya haven’t read my texts. I’m outside.”

Hinata’s mouth fell open. _OUTSIDE?? What could he possibly be doing outside? What day is it?_

“Hinata, are you there?” Atsumu’s voice was confused.

Hinata hopped up out of bed in a panic. “I’m coming! Just hold on a minute!”

“Just one minute, Shoyo.” _Click_

Hinata ran to the restroom and brushed his teeth violently, he looked at the orange nest of hair on top of his head and sighed. There is no way he could fix that in a minute. He ran his fingers through his hair in a downward motion as he walked to the door.

When he opened it a small gasp escaped his lips. The sun surrounded Atsumu’s body perfectly, making him look like he was glowing. Hinata couldn’t stop himself from blushing. He was not ready to see someone look so put together when he barely even brushed his teeth.

Once his eyes adjusted Hinata caught his breath, “whats wrong Atsumu-San? Why are you here so early?”

Atsumu chuckled, “ya really haven’t looked at your phone huh? It’s 2pm. I brought ya somethin.”

Hinata gasped at the time and the last four words Atsumu gave him. _He brought me something?_ Atsumu motioned for Hinata to follow him down the walkway to the street. Hinata followed, trying not to let his thoughts race and romanticize all the possible gifts he could have filled his car with.

Hinata slightly deflated when he saw his bike mounted to the back of the car instead of a bunch of roses but he was still thankful. “Oh Atsumu-San you really didn’t have to! Thank you so much. I didn’t know you had a bike mount.” he smiled brightly, thankful for having brushed his teeth.

Atsumu started dismounting the bike, “I didn’t, I bought one so I could drop this off. It was my fault ya left it anyway so it was the least I could do. Now I kinda like it, it makes me look even cooler. I may end up getting a bike for myself.”

Hinata laughed, “Maybe we can race.”

Atsumu smiled at the challenge, “okay now I _have_ to get a bike.”

Atsumu set the bike down and Hinata guided it towards the house with Atsumu following quietly. Hinata leaned his bike against the steps leading to the door. “Thank you again Atsumu, I really appreciate it.” He looked at his feet, “I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

Atsumu looked at Hinata softly, “it was my pleasure, I would have waited all day if I had to.”

Hinata’s eyes shot up to stare at Atsumu with his mouth open. Atsumu’s cheeks were dusted with pink. Atsumu reached his hand out towards Hinata’s head and gently tugged at the hair sticking straight up before he turned to leave. “I’ll see ya Monday.” he said as he stepped towards his car. Hinata was disappointed that he was leaving so soon and he hadn’t been a good host at all. Even though he was feeling shy and still dumb with sleep, Hinata willed himself to move and grabbed the bottom of Atsumu’s shirt making him stop in his tracks.

Thankful that Atsumu wasn’t looking at him Hinata was able to speak, “Thank you again for bringing the bike, and for being so patient. It means so much to me. I’ll see you Monday ‘Tsumu.” Hinata let go of the man in front of him and watched the back of his ears go red as he quickly walked to his car and drove off.

Once Hinata was back in his room he felt more awake and started trying to make sense of what had happened. _Did I just call him TSUMU? He must have felt so awkward._ Hinata pulled out his phone and saw 4 missed calls and 20 messages waiting for him. Atsumu’s first message had been from 9 that morning. It was easy to see the shift in emotions when he read the texts in order. From excitement to playfulness to annoyance to concern. He had already been waiting outside for a couple of hours. Hinata rubbed his head trying to ease the guilt. _In my defense I didn’t know he was going to stop by. Is it weird for him to have been out there that long? What was he even doing? No wait, I’m just saying that, I think it’s really sweet actually. I’m the worst, I have to make it up to him on Monday somehow._

Hinata decided he didn’t deserve to sleep anymore, even if his head wouldn’t stop throbbing. He went to the kitchen to make his “breakfast.”

...

After eating a ridiculous amount of greasy bacon and eggs topped with some aspirin and coffee he started to feel better. He couldn’t understand why he had drank so much, it was very out of character since he was usually a light weight anyway and ended up falling asleep a couple of drinks in. Hinata really couldn’t remember what had kept him awake. He checked his phone and sent Kenma and Kuroo a text to offer them some eggs and bacon.

Hinata checked all his notifications and when he arrived at his Snapchat he saw he had multiple snaps from Kenma and Kuroo to open.

_That’s weird. These are all from last night. Maybe they wanted me to remember what happened. W-what if they are embarrassing? I don’t drink that much often, maybe I said something dumb. Should I even watch them?? Do I want to know?_

Hinata set his phone down and decided he would wait to see the snaps until he was mentally prepared. He tried to distract himself and keep busy. He cleaned away all of the evidence of last night that was left in the living room and ended up cleaning the rest of the house for fun. Once he was done he was much more relaxed and realized he was overthinking. He opened up Snapchat and all the snaps from his friends.

The snaps included: Hinata eating 6 meat buns, Hinata swearing that he doesn’t have to use the restroom before games anymore because of panic shits, a KuroKen selfie, a picture taken of Hinata without him knowing while he was writing something at his desk in concentration, Hinata fanning himself with three envelopes, a picture of Hinata and a postal worker smiling together, and finally a video of Hinata kissing his envelopes good bye and asking the delivery man to be very careful.

Before allowing himself to freak out, Hinata replayed the snaps paying special attention to every detail. He was right about what he saw the first time...

Hinata dropped his phone. He rushed to his room and looked for his wooden box in the closet where he had put it. When he realized it wasn’t there he shifted around the room wildly and found the box on his desk. He opened it and took out all the contents even though he already knew the truth... the letters were gone...

_I cant believe I— WAIT there were THREE letters in my hands last night. What was the third one?? Who was it for? It was gold? Or yellow? Oh. Oh MY— I JUST saw Atsumu today! Did he already get the letter?? Is that why he was here? No, there’s no way he got it that fast. What the fuck did I even write??_

Hinata’s brain was going to explode with all the information he was having to process. He couldn’t believe what an idiot he had been, there was no way to take any of it back. There wasn’t even a way for him to know what he wrote last night, he was humiliated and felt sick. He couldn’t be alone right now.

Hinata was embarrassed but he walked to Kenma’s room and knocked lightly.

“Come in,” someone answered quietly.

Hinata opened the door and saw his friends laying in bed. Kuroo was holding Kenma’s waist in the big spoon position. Kenma rested his head on Kuroo’s extended arm and looked at Hinata concerned, “is everything okay?”

Hinata hadn’t realized he was crying, he felt the salty tears slipping into the corners of his mouth. Hinata shook his head and let out a desperate sob.

Kuroo lifted up the sheet, “Come here Shoyo.” Hinata obeyed and laid down beside his friends facing the door, becoming the littlest spoon so they wouldn’t see his wet face. He felt arms wrap tightly around him and the warmth of company he hadn’t felt in so long. “Breath, your brain needs oxygen.” instructed Kuroo. Hinata had been unknowingly holding his breath in an effort to stop his crying. Hinata focused on his breathing and actually started to feel less overwhelmed. After a few minutes of comfortable silence Hinata let out a deep sigh of relief, “thank you. I feel a bit better.”

Hinata dried his cheeks and his nose, finally feeling brave enough to face his friends. He shifted his body to face them and the other two released him from their embrace.

“Do you want to talk about it Sho?” Asked Kenma

Hinata let out another sigh, “I saw the snaps from last night, I sent my love letters and when I first realized what happened I felt like I was going to die from the embarrassment. But honestly, I think I just have to accept the fact that it’s done and I can’t change it. Plus, I keep replaying the videos in my head and I can’t believe how happy I looked. I think I kind of knew exactly what I was doing. That’s why I drank so much, to blame any of the consequences on the alcohol.”

Kenma gave Hinata a reassuring smile, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, I think you did the right thing. You let out something you had been holding in a long time and at least you don’t have to wonder ‘what if’ anymore.”

Kuroo nodded, “I agree with Kenma, look Shorty I know it feels like the end of the world right now but don’t you worry, this feeling will pass. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed, any of those guys would be lucky to be liked by you, and they’d be idiots to be anything but honored. You’re a catch, if they can’t see that then they don’t deserve you.”

Hinata’s lip quivered, “thank you guys... I— Of course I’m scared of the responses or NO response, I don’t know which would be worse. At least Oikawa is in another country, and Kageyama hasn’t spoken to me basically since I left for Brazil, but Atsumu!! I see him almost every day at practice, even longer than I see the rest of my teammates because he’s the only one who always stays late! And worst of all I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I WROTE in his letter!” Hinata’s voice struggled to keep up with his thoughts.

Kenma flicked Hinata’s forehead, “Shoyo stop. Look, you may not know exactly what you wrote but just think logically. How do you feel about him? That’s literally what you would write. I’m guessing you wrote it in the same style you wrote the other two. So just think, what would you write to him now? That’s probably what you wrote in the letter. You may have been drunk but that doesn’t mean your feelings changed.”

Kuroo chuckled, “that’s right, there are probably just a few more spelling errors than there would usually be.”

Hinata closed his eyes and imagined everything he would have said to Atsumu if he wasn’t so afraid of his feelings. _My other letters were just honest words. I probably just talked about how much I love practicing with him and how he has a nice smile and cool hair. And how tall and funny he can be..._

“You’re right, I don’t think the letter could have been that bad. I don’t know him that well anyway so it couldn’t have been that detailed. I’ll just deal with it when it becomes something to deal with. Maybe the letter will be lost?” Hinata chuckled, sounding like he was mostly trying to convince himself and not his friends, somehow it was working.

“Don’t worry Sho, it’ll all work out” Kenma said with a yawn. “Do you mind if we go back to sleep? It’s so early..”

Hinata laughed, “Kenma it’s almost 6PM.”

Kenma and Kuroo rolled over at the same time, now making Kuroo the little spoon, “wake us up at 8 please?” mumbled Kenma. Not even a minute later, Hinata could hear soft snores from his cat-like friends.

Hinata left the room as quietly as he could. He felt like he had wasted the day, the sun was already retreating. In an effort to clear his mind and let out his frustrations he started getting ready to go for a run. _I must learn to accept the things I cannot change. You know what I can control? How many miles I run today. I will deal with things as they come._

That evening Hinata ran for 2 hours straight, stopping to return home only because he had to wake his friends.

With every bead of sweat he released he was one step closer to forgiving himself. Forgiving himself for falling for beautiful setters he had no chance with, and forgiving himself for wishing and hoping they liked him back.

.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on twitter for chaotic energy and if you have any questions:
> 
> **  
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>  
>  **
> 
> Uploads are a bit less consistent than they were in the beginning, my job is really picking up.


	2. We Could Have Been Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata was panicking, there’s no way he could answer. He turned the volume down and let it go to voicemail. Hinata let out a sigh of relief. There, I can just pretend I’m asleep. I mean I was asleep. He will understand, right?  
> Wrong. Hinata received a text:  
> O: look Chibi-Chan you might as well answer. I’m just going to keep calling, today is my day off and I know you want to sleep. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*  
> Hinata knew he wasn’t bluffing, when his phone started buzzing again he decided he might as well face him:  
> H: Hello?  
> O: Chibi-Chan!!! I didn’t expect you to give in so quickly, you must really want to sleep.  
> Hinata let out a nervous chuckle.  
> H: well I knew you would definitely keep calling, how have you been?  
> O: Great as always!  
> Oikawa let out an obnoxious laugh.  
> O: But Chibi-Chan this isn’t a regular check in. I read your letter. When did you write this? Why didn’t you tell me?
> 
> Or:  
> The letters are delivered, Hinata does his best to stay cool. Our first setter responds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 4.7k+ words long

It was Monday morning and Hinata had gotten some much needed rest on Sunday once he decided he was just going to be _cool_. There had been no news about the letters or any calls or texts from anyone unexpected so he was just going to move past this. _Maybe I wrote the addresses wrong? Or maybe it wasn’t legible? Either way THANK YOU GOD for this second chance and thank you drunk me for being bad at writing._

On his way to practice Hinata stopped by a coffee shop and picked up a couple of small coffees and muffins. He would eat one set himself and planned to give the other to Atsumu for bringing his bike to him. When he arrived he saw Bokuto walking towards the building with much less energy than he usually had.

“Bokuto-san!” Hinata yelled at his teammate.

Bokuto looked towards the voice and smiled, he jogged over to Hinata and his bike full of goodies.

“Gmorning Sho,” when Bokuto’s eyes saw the coffee and muffins his energy visibly increased, “woah what’s the occasion? Is it someone’s birthday? Who’s the special guy?”

Hinata began to feel warm, he hadn’t considered what it would look like to show up and only give Atsumu something in front of his teammates. _Would Atsumu take it as something different than a thank you? Would the rest of the team? Do I want it to be more than a thank you?_

“One is— one is for you Bokuto-san! I thought you might need some energy this morning and I picked up some coffee for myself and got some extra stuff to share?” Hinata rambled.

Bokuto’s eyes lit up, “THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is JUST what I needed, I’m so tired this morning after staying up late to keep Akaashi company.” Bokuto grabbed the small coffee without hesitation. He drank it without checking how hot it was and ended up burning his tongue. Hinata shook his head with a sympathetic smile as his friend ran into the building to drink some water.

As he chained his bike into place a voice startled him, “What was that about? He just ran off on ya.”

Hinata turned and met Atsumu’s eyes, “Good morning Atsumu-san! Bokuto burned his tongue on some coffee. Would you like a muffin or some coffee? I have some to share.” For some reason as soon as he offered he felt shy and hoped he would say yes.

Atsumu pretended to eye Hinata suspiciously, “what's the catch?”

Hinata giggled, “no catch. Just blueberry or banana nut.”

“Oh well, A catch could have been fun. Thank you, Shoyo.” Atsumu winks as he reaches for the blueberry muffin Hinata was holding. Atsumu’s fingers grazed Hinata’s in the exchange making Hinata inhale in surprise. Although the moment only lasted a second, it was enough to make Hinata feel embarrassed.

Atsumu chuckled, “come on, ya don’t wanna be late do ya?”

Hinata snapped back to reality, “Right!” The two went inside the gym to start their day. In an effort to remain inconspicuous, Hinata offered Sakusa the remaining banana nut muffin. Sakusa asked if he could have the coffee instead and although Hinata could have used the extra energy he happily let him have it. It was rare for Sakusa to accept offers in the first place so Hinata figured he must have needed the pick me up.

...

Once practice ended, the majority of the team hit the showers. Only Bokuto, Atsumu, and Hinata remained for their usual extra practice. Meian checked in on them before going home and reminded them to take a water break. While he hydrated, Hinata checked the time on his phone and realized he had a few texts from Kenma:

K _: Hi. So don’t freak out but I figured I should let you know that I got email confirmation from the delivery service tracking that all the letters were delivered today._

K _: They arrived to their destinations a couple of hours ago while you were at practice._

K _: I would have told you sooner but I was asleep and saw the email when I got up._

K _: Don’t freak out._

K _: See you at home_

Hinata froze. He considered his options: he could make up an excuse to go home early and cry or he could possibly steal his letter back if he beat Atsumu home. None of which were ideal and he didn’t even know where Atsumu lived. He had had such a great day, forgetting about the mistake he had made over the weekend but here it was again reminding him what an idiot he was.

“Y’okay?” Asked Atsumu who had been watching him carefully from across the court.

Hinata hummed a soft yes, “just a minute.”

Bokuto and Atsumu looked at each other equally confused but began practicing again in an effort to give their teammate space.

As Hinata continued to think, he watched his friends practice without him and realized he had a third option. He could try and enjoy this moment, regardless of the wave of unknown that was to come. Hinata knew this was his last moment with his setter BEFORE he read his letter. This was the last untainted memory Atsumu would have with him, by tomorrow’s practice he would know everything. _This is still the_ ** _before_** _, meaning nothing has changed yet. I can still share this moment with him. I can’t waste this moment._

Just like that Hinata convinced himself to stay. Bokuto left a half hour later after feeling the lack of sleep catch up to him. Hinata and Atsumu stayed for a few more hours. Although he was exhausted, Hinata savored every second and wished it didn’t have to end. “One more!” He kept asking, and Atsumu kept providing. They only left when the cleaning crew showed up, Hinata was disappointed but Atsumu was secretly relieved, he wouldn’t have said no to Hinata asking him for another set but his body couldn’t keep up much longer.

Atsumu offered to drive Hinata home but Hinata refused by saying he needed to clear his head and riding his bike helped. Although Atsumu was concerned, especially after having practiced so hard, he didn’t press further. He trusted that Hinata had a reason and knew his limits. They said their goodbyes and Hinata watched him walk away, taking a mental picture of his setter under the street lights. Hinata took many mental pictures that evening, wanting to save all of them for the _after_.

Once Hinata was home all he could do was shower and eat a protein bar before he fell asleep from exhaustion. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t have been able to sleep from the stress of knowing the letters were in the hands of the men he had loved and he couldn’t do anything about it. Thankfully, the exhaustion from pushing his body further than he should have allowed him to sleep deeply enough to ignore his muscle and heart aches.

...

Hinata awoke to his phone buzzing. _Why can I never sleep uninterrupted_? _How long was I asleep? What time is it? Its still dark._

It was 3am, Hinata sleepily picked up his phone and immediately stopped breathing. It was Oikawa calling from Argentina. Hinata’s screen continued to flash with a selfie of him and Oikawa sticking their tongues out. Hinata still remembered taking that picture and who he sent it to.

Hinata was panicking, there’s no way he could answer. He turned the volume down and let it go to voicemail. Hinata let out a sigh of relief. _There, I can just pretend I’m asleep. I mean I_ ** _was_** _asleep. He will understand, right?_

Wrong. Hinata received a text:

O: _look Chibi-Chan you might as well answer. I’m just going to keep calling, today is my day off and I know you want to sleep. (_ ﾉ _◕_ ヮ _◕_ _)_ ﾉ _*_

Hinata knew he wasn’t bluffing, when his phone started buzzing again he decided he might as well face him:

H: _Hello?_

O: _Chibi-Chan!!! I didn’t expect you to give in so quickly, you must really want to sleep._

Hinata let out a nervous chuckle.

H: _well I knew you would definitely keep calling, how have you been?_

O: _Great as always!_

Oikawa let out an obnoxious laugh.

O: _But Chibi-Chan this isn’t a regular check in. I read your letter. When did you write this? Why didn’t you tell me?_

Hinata gulped, rolling his eyes because of course the Grand King would just get straight to the point without hesitation. Although he was nervous about the truth he figured it was already out there so he might as well stick with it. At least he wouldn’t have to think of a lie to keep track of. A resigned Hinata sighed and cleared his throat.

H: _I wrote the letter the day I told you I would be coming back to Japan. I didn’t tell you because I was scared of what you would have said. Plus, I was leaving so I didn’t want to make things more difficult. But mostly I was just scared of your reaction_.

Oikawa spoke softly, like he was whispering in Hinata’s ear. His voice full of an emotion Hinata couldn’t place.

O: _You could have told me. I would have— I would— I could have been different, we could have been different. I would have been more clear, set better boundaries._

Hinata could feel his heart crack when he realized the emotion he couldn’t place was pity. The words weren’t surprising to him but they still hurt.

H: _It’s okay, really. If I’m being honest, I always knew the truth. It was just serendipity, we were just both at the right place at the right time._

Hinata’s voice was thick with sadness. Oikawa inhaled deeply and spoke in a voice Hinata had never heard him use. Like he was talking to a broken baby bird he found on the sidewalk, mixed with panic and pain from not knowing what to do. It was rushed but kind.

O: _Shoyo-chan please don’t cry. Look, I liked you. I liked you so much, the time we spent together was like a breath of fresh air. You helped me remember what fun was like when all I could focus on was working to get stronger. You shaped me in the best way... but I just didn’t have enough room in my heart. You deserve more than what I could give you. The day you told me you were leaving, the day we kissed, I knew I didn’t deserve you, I couldn’t ask you to stay because... I’m so sorry Shoyo. I thought we were both running away from the painful loves and memories we left behind, that was selfish of me. I just— no matter how much I wanted to fall for you... no matter how much I tried... I already belonged to someone else... I’m so sorry. What can I do?_

Hinata could hear how sincere he was, it almost made the words he said less painful. Hinata wipes his eyes.

H: _thank you for your honesty Oikawa-san. Please don’t worry about me. I wrote the letter as a way to get things off my chest but I’m okay now. Obviously hearing this hurts but I feel like I had always known the truth. And you’re right, I was also benefiting. The truth is my heart held someone else within it too, but I guess I just had more room left..._

O: _you have a big heart Chibi-Chan and it makes you one of the most beautiful people I know. Please don’t let this experience keep you from letting yourself love again. You will find someone worthy of you soon, I promise. If not you can always come back to South America and we can serendipities all over again._

Hinata giggled, finally feeling like he could breath.

H: _thank you for calling and forcing me to talk to you, the anticipation was killing me._

Oikawa chuckled in response.

O: _Still friends_?

H: _Always_.

O: _Always. Well Chibi-Chan I will leave you to sleep, you need to take care of yourself. Don’t work too hard. Maybe I’ll see you soon, I was thinking of taking a trip back home._

H: _Let me know if you do, good night!_

_O: good night Chibi-Chan, I’ve missed you._

_Click_.

Hinata set his phone down and laid back on his bed, taking a moment to reflect on his conversation. _What the fuck?_ Hinata let out a laugh, that was the only thing he could produce to keep himself from crying again. _The Grand King really took less than ten minutes to call me to break my heart and then fix it with a pep talk. He really is unbelievable._ Hinata let out a sigh and smiled. He hugged his pillow and felt pain in his muscles but surprisingly not in his heart. Once the adrenaline brought on by the call faded, his exhaustion hit him like a truck. He shifted to a comfortable position and allowed himself to remember the day he wrote Oikawa’s letter as he faded into his dreams.

...

### Back in Brazil:

Oikawa had come back into Hinata’s life on a day like any other. Hinata had grown increasingly homesick and seeing Oikawa on the beach was like a gift from the heavens, regardless of their past. They were both a long ways from home looking for strength and training they needed to live up to their own expectations. Oikawa helped nurse Hinata’s love sick heart back to health knowing exactly how it felt to leave the one you love for reasons more selfish than not. Over time they became great friends, they spoke on the phone every day and would spend as much time together as their individual practices in different countries would allow. When they were together not a single moment was wasted. They both needed physical reassurance and craved the touch of someone they cared for. It began slowly with hands brushing accidentally when they would walk side by side and hugs good bye after a weekend playing together. Every time they met they would go a little further than they had before, testing the waters to see what they could get away with. They would hold hands regularly and slept in the same bed in an embrace that was never long or close enough. They only ever kissed once. Hinata had invited Oikawa over for a dinner he had worked hard to prepare. They had a beautiful evening filled with conversation and laughs. As they lay together on the couch watching the credits to the movie they cried watching together Hinata cleared his throat. “Oikawa-san?”

Oikawa hummed, “yes?”

Hinata looked up to meet his eyes and blurted out, “I think this is my last weekend here. I’ll be moving back to Japan to try out for a pro team.”

A brief look of confusion crossed over Oikawa’s face, which he quickly masked with an act of pleasant surprise. “Really? That’s great! I’m so happy for you.” He gave a dazzling smile that didn’t touch his eyes.

Hinata looked into his eyes for a sign, “Do you think I should do it? Should I stay longer? Do you think I should stay?”

Oikawa ruffled Hinata’s hair, “I think you should do what makes you happy.”

Hinata sighed, “I think I’m happy here.”

Oikawa gave him a small smile, “not if you’re considering going back. That means there’s still something missing for you here.”

Hinata looked down in defeat, “I guess so.”

Oikawa slid his fingers under Hinata’s chin and tilted it so that Hinata was looking at him again. “I will miss you Chibi-chan. Before you go, can I ask you for a favor?”

Hinata’s eyes were glossy with emotion, “anything, you can ask me for anything.”

Oikawa cupped Hinata’s face as he spoke softly, “will you give me a kiss goodbye?”

Hinata was warm where Oikawa was touching his face and he couldn’t trust himself to speak. He gave a nod and parted his lips. Oikawa closed in on them slowly, enjoying the increasing redness in Hinata’s cheeks. Their kiss was bitter sweet and long; it was filled with the memories of summer, the pain of missing home, the build up of wanting more time together, and the sadness of a goodbye. It was an immaculate goodbye that left them feeling like they should have cherished their time together even more than they already did.

Once Oikawa left, Hinata took out his pen and paper and wrote his letter:

_Great King,_

_I can’t believe we kissed?! First: wow. Second: why haven’t we been kissing this whole time?? I feel cheated (jk) but that was awesome. Anyway, I never thought seeing you again would bring me as much joy as it did. You barely left my apartment and I already miss you, that’s how it is every time we spend time together. You gave me another home here and that’s what helped me become stronger. I was at my absolute worst when we found each other and you were my saving grace, a beautiful angel with great hair. Saying goodbye to you was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do. I wished that it wouldn’t have been goodbye. Why didn’t you ask me to stay? I said you could ask me for anything, I meant it. I had one reason to stay and that’s all I needed, you. But I needed to hear you say it, that you wanted me to stay, that you wanted_ **_me_ ** _. Was I not clear? That I’ve loved you since the day you held my hand for the first time, and every time you would greet me like you hadn’t seen me in years, I just fell even more. I thought you were falling too, you seemed so happy when we were together. Maybe I was just romanticizing things but I thought you felt it too. I couldn’t say this to you when we said goodbye because I don’t blame you for not stopping me from going or for not feeling the same way, but I couldn’t let it sit in my heart either. I wrote you this letter so that you know how I feel, even if it’s embarrassing or not returned. I still love you. Always. Goodbye, and thank you._

_Love,_

_Shoyo_

**...**

### Present day

Kenma was on his way to bed when he heard Hinata’s alarm ringing in his room. _That’s weird, Sho always wakes up before his alarm sounds in the mornings._ The alarm continued to ring, Kenma felt increasingly concerned as he listened from outside the door to Hinata’s room. Kenma knocked on the door lightly, there was no response aside from the alarm begging to be turned off. Kenma timidly opened the door and peeked in the room to find Hinata’s phone on the floor and an unresponsive Hinata in bed. Kenma stepped into the room and turned the alarm off, grateful for the silence that was left. “Shoyo?” No response.

Kenma approached the small bed and stood over the limp body so he could see his friend’s face. Kenma gasped when he saw the condition he was in. Hinata was covered in sweat with his face flushed, there were dark circles around his eyes and his lips were pale and dry. Kenma touched his forehead and confirmed what was already clear. Kenma sighed, “Sho, you pushed yourself too hard again didn’t you?”

Kenma quickly left the room and called Kuroo to ask him what to do:

Ku: _Kuroo Tetsurou speaking_

Ken: _Kuro, Hinata has a fever. I think he practiced too hard yesterday. What do I do?_

Ku: _shit, are you sure_?

Ken: _well he feels really hot and he’s like passed out and sweaty and red_.

Ku: _okay first, don’t call him hot._ ** _IM_** _hot. Second, there’s a thermometer in the bathroom so check his temperature just to be sure. The best thing for him would be rest and hydration. I’ll pick up a fever reducer from the store and some veggies for soup. Grab a small towel and soak it with water to put on his forehead, if he’s conscious enough get him to drink wate—_

Ken: _Kuroo. That’s a lot. He doesn’t look good. I don’t know if I can_ —

Ku: _babe don’t worry. Just do what you can, I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon. He’s gonna be okay_.

Ken: _okay... hurry_.

Ku: _I will, see you in a bit._

Ken: _But be careful_.

Ku: _Yes, baby._

_Click_

When Kuroo arrived Kenma felt relief wash over him. So much so that he actually hugged him hello. _What did I do to deserve such a caring man_?

Their embrace was brief because they had a lot of work to do. Kuroo quickly assessed his friend, got the soup on the stove, and contacted Hinata’s coach, team captain, and of course Bokuto to let them know Hinata would be missing practice.

They were able to get Hinata cleaned up and get some food and water into him. His temperature had begun to drop and he started to regain strength. At that point he did briefly try and fight Kuroo demanding that he be allowed to attend practice, but as soon as he tried to get up he laid himself right back down. He had recognized the exhaustion he was feeling, similar to what he felt during one of the worst moments of his life a few years back when he had also pushed himself too hard.

Kuroo handed Hinata a glass of cool water, “Look Shorty, the best thing you can do today is rest. I already took care of everything else. I know it’s frustrating but this is what happens when you don’t listen to your body.”

Hinata drank the water quietly, he knew he shouldn’t argue but he hated missing practice.

Kuroo sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, “I know you hate missing practice Shoyo. Don’t be mad at _me_ , I’m the one that should be upset with _you_. Do you know how worried we have been? Do you know how scared my Kenma was when he called me? I don’t like to lecture people, especially not my friends but come on Shoyo. You have to take care of yourself. You aren’t alone anymore, you have people here who want to see you healthy and happy. So can you do that for us? Can you care about yourself and try your best to stay healthy and safe? That’s all we wan—“

“Kuroo that’s enough.” Kenma interrupts from the doorway, “he needs rest, not to be lectured.”

Kuroo sighed and stood up, “you’re right. I’m sorry Sho—“

“No don’t apologize!” Hinata spoke with tears running down his face, “I’m the one that’s sorry! You’re right Kuroo-San I wasn’t being careful, I was being reckless. I just wanted to spend more time with Atsumu before he read my letter. I’m so sorry to both of you for making you worry. I love you both so much, I’m so sorry. I promise I will do better.”

Kuroo ruffles Hinata’s hair, “that’s enough apologizing from all of us today. Don’t blame yourself too much, I probably would have done the same if it meant I could spend more time with someone I care about.” Kuroo looked at Kenma softly when he spoke. “I’ll go get you some more water so you can take your next dosage of meds.”

Kuroo exits leaving Kenma and Hinata alone. Hinata couldn’t look at his best friend’s eyes, “Kenma, I’m sorry for making you worry.”

Kenma gives Hinata a small smile, “It’s okay Shoyo, just get better. And don’t do it again”

Hinata finally meets his eyes, “I won’t, I promise.”

“Good” Kenma says as he leaves the room so that Hinata can rest.

Kenma walks to the kitchen and finds Kuroo standing over the stove reheating the soup he had made. He wraps his arms around him and rests his forehead on his back without a word.

Kuroo breaks the silence first, “you need sleep. You should have been in bed hours ago.”

Kenma hums in acknowledgment while deciding to rest his eyes. Kuroo turns his body skillfully and picks up his boyfriend in a single movement. He carries him to his room and lays him in bed, “sleep.” He orders. Kuroo gives him a soft kiss on his head before turning to leave the room.

“Kuro.”

The man stops in his tracks, “yes?”

Kenma covered his face with his blanket and mumbled, “Thank you for everything. All the big and little things you do. I see all of them. I am thankful for all of them. You’re my favorite person, I love you.” Kenma can’t find the words to express himself completely but that’s the best he could do for now.

Kuroo turns to him, “Kenmaaaa!” He jumps onto the bed and takes him into his arms. “I love you.” he says, before they share a kiss they’ve been holding in since he walked through the door with a bag full of groceries.

...

Hinata had slept the entire day of his fever and woke up at 4am the following day feeling much better. He couldn’t imagine how he was going to repay his friends for all their help caring for him. Although he still had a few hours until he had to get up for practice he was starting to feel restless not being able to go back to sleep. He quietly snuck out of the house after changing into a hoodie to go for a run. The morning was perfect for a run, cold enough to keep him cool with his hood on but not uncomfortable to breath in.

He was able to clear his mind and assess the situation he was in. _So if it wasn’t a fever dream, Oikawa called already about the letter. Meaning the other two must have received it by now. I hope Atsumu doesn’t think that’s why I didn’t go to practice. If everyone knew I had a fever, why didn’t he text me wishing I get better soon like the rest of the team? Is he mad at me? And you know what, Kageyama hasn’t even tried to contact me. I guess it makes sense that he wouldn’t since we haven’t really spoken since I left for Brazil. I guess I just thought this would be significant enough to get his attention._

Hinata finally stopped running when he saw the sun was rising. The slow glimmering light made everything look new. He enjoyed the view from a small bench he discovered when he first moved into Kenma’s. He would sit on the beat up bench on days when he would wake up too early and wait for a small donut shop to open. The owner always called Hinata his favorite customer and always sold him the first donuts he cooked for the day, thankful to see someone up as early as him. Hinata liked the quiet of the street that was usually incredibly busy. This was the only place he felt like he could just be. He didn’t have to look happy here or be full of energy so that no one worried, he could just sit on the bench and eat his donut.

Hinata had a mouth full of donut when he heard a voice yell, “Hey!! Can you point me towards the right direction? I think I got turned around!”

Hinata ignored the man and focused on the view in front of him in an attempt to preserve the feeling of peace he had achieved.

The voice became louder and it approached, “excuse me!! You! On the bench! Can you hear? I just need help finding an address”

Hinata turned towards the strangely familiar voice, he saw his nightmare walking towards him. A man with dark hair in a blue running outfit walked towards him. He had piercing blue eyes and was holding a navy blue envelope in one hand. Their eyes met briefly, only then did the dark haired man recognize the man on the bench, “Hinata? Is that you? I’ve been look—“

Hinata ran. He ran faster than he had ever known he was capable of. He heard a voice yelling after him and he felt a presence chasing him closely but as he got further from the bench the voice and presence faded. Hinata took the longest and most complicated way home he could come up with. Once home, he collapsed on the couch completely out of breath. _Kageyama is here. Kageyama was looking. For. Me. Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slow progress, I find that once I start there is just so much I want to say. I hope you guys are enjoying it so far. This is my first time writing something like this and transitions/layout/flow are hard when you have cute images and moments in mind but have to make it make sense on paper for the reader.  
> The next chapter will pick up where we left off. I will be incorporating more of the setter's perspective as well and we will eventually get to see what the other letters said.  
> My twitter: @stayvgolden you can DM me any comments or questions.
> 
> **  
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>  
>  **
> 
> Your comments and Kudos on here mean the world to me. Thank you for reading!


	3. I Wish I Could Take it Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After he read through each page he read them again, over and over and over again. Each time he read through them he noticed something different, he savored every single detail from a complex word he knew Hinata had looked up to a random comma he had added to keep a sentence going forever. He could hear Hinata’s voice speaking the words to him. All the words he never said, all the words Kageyama had not known he felt.
> 
> Or:  
> Kageyama receives an envelope from Hinata.  
> Hinata finds himself in front of the first setter he ever loved.  
> Neither of them know exactly what is going on but both of them know there is a lot they have to discuss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 4.2k+ words

Kageyama felt like he had been going in circles. The return address written on the envelope he was holding was rushed and messy, much more difficult to read than he remembered Hinata’s writing being. He would have asked for directions immediately but the neighborhood was still empty with the start of the day. _I shouldn’t have come. Why did I get in the cab anyway?_ Kageyama sighed feeling frustrated with himself. As he continued searching for the address he reminded himself of how he had gotten here.

He had arrived home from practice late a couple of days before and picked up all his mail for the week like he always did. He hated getting mail, it was so slow and he had usually already read the email notification saying the exact same thing a few days earlier. Most of what he would sort through were ads, bills, or a rare letter from a fan who had somehow figured out his address. When he got these letters he would open them very carefully and read them, they would make him feel weird but in a good way, it felt nice to be seen and validated in a very personal way that email just couldn’t give. Regardless, he never kept them. He wasn’t the type to hold on to things he had no use for or read anything more than once. He would always write a brief acknowledgment of him having read the letter; a “thank you,” “very nice,” or “:-)” and he would reseal the envelopes and _write return to sender_ on them before he dropped them off at the mailbox he passed on his way to practice.

This time was different, there were the usual grocery store ads, credit card offers, and a single dark envelope. He almost didn’t read it, it was a bit intimidating initially with it’s navy blue color and it became a hundred times scarier when he read the sender's name _, Shoyo Hinata._

Kageyama lasted an entire day without opening it, it was all he could think about even while he tried to distract himself with practice and exercise. _Why would he send me a letter? Why now? Shouldn’t he hate me? Does he hate me? Maybe that’s what’s in the letter, like a goodbye or maybe it’s hate mail. I read an article once about people putting a poisonous chemical or something in packages and sending them to politicians. Is he trying to kill me? I would deserve it. But so would he... no way though. Why couldn’t he have just sent me a text? Well I guess he tried that before... but still what’s with the ominous, secretive, and ancient letter sendin—_

His thoughts were interrupted by the realization of having completely missed his target during a set. His teammates eyed him suspiciously but no one said a word. “My bad.” He mumbled.

“Is everything okay?” Ushijima approached the setter, “you look like you’re really angry. You’ve been like that all day.”

Kageyama immediately gave Ushijima a forced smile, “sorry, I just have a lot on my mind but I’m okay. I’ll do better.”

Since all his own smiles usually looked the same, Ushijima didn’t notice anything unusual. He nodded to the setter and returned to his place on the court.

...

After practice Kageyama rushed home, he couldn’t prolong it any longer. He had to know what was in the envelope. He carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the contents trying his best not to read anything. He wasn’t ready to read the words yet and his mind had a bad habit of skipping ahead and making significant words pop out of the text before he was ready. Instead, he looked up at the ceiling while his fingers expertly massaged the creased of the paper in front of him. Once he took a deep breath to calm himself he let his eyes look over the pages in front of him, still careful not to read.

He quickly realized there were actually two letters in the same envelope. One dated early during the last year of high school and one dated after Hinata had left for Brazil. Kageyama squeezes his eyes shut. _What the fuck Hinata? These letters are from ages ago._ He took a couple more deep breaths and although he didn’t feel any more prepared, he finally allowed himself to read through the words before him.

_..._

After he read through each page he read them again, over and over and over again. Each time he read through them he noticed something different, he savored every single detail from a complex word he knew Hinata had looked up to a random comma he had added to keep a sentence going forever. He could hear Hinata’s voice speaking the words to him. All the words he never said, all the words Kageyama had not known he felt. Kageyama only stopped reading when his phone buzzed, he realized he had been sitting there for hours consumed by the words that now filled his apartment. Kageyama ignored the team group chat and read the letters again. _One more time._ That was all he needed to completely memorize the words. Once he had carved the letters into his memory he finally sat back and rested his eyes. _Why now? Why today? What does this mean? What am I supposed to do? What should I do?_ Kageyama was confused by the whirlwind of emotions he was experiencing. He felt equal parts confused, excited, scared, and nostalgic. He decided he would do what he usually did when he received letters. He quietly wrote a response to both letters and resealed the envelope carefully. When he was about to write “return to sender” on the envelope his hand cramped. “Ow! Fuck!” He massages his hand and decided he would wait until tomorrow before he left for practice. Kageyama felt slightly better and decided to get ready for bed, he was already behind schedule in his usual after practice routine to ensure he was in the best condition to perform well at practice the next day.

...

No matter what he tried, Kageyama wasn’t able to get any sleep. He kept rolling around in his bed thinking about the envelope. _If I return it through mail, will he think I didn’t read it? Should I text him? No, of course not, it’s the middle of the night. Should I text him tomorrow? Or should I call? To be more... personal. Would he even answer? I just don’t get it. Why now? The letters are dated a while ago but he sent them so recently. Does that mean he still feels the same? Or does it mean he’s over it?_ Kageyama reached for his phone, he typed Hinata’s phone number that he knew by heart into his message search bar. The chat popped up and he scrolled all the way up to a message Hinata sent inviting him to visit the shine on New Years. He read through all their old messages as he had done many times before, chucking to himself and realizing all the things he had unknowingly missed. He began filling in the missing pieces with the words from the letters he now knew by heart. This was especially painful when Kageyama had reached the messages Hinata had sent him from Brazil, the ones he never responded to. Reading these messages brought Kageyama to tears. Now that he knew what Hinata had been feeling behind the screen, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t been there for him. _I’m so sorry Hinata. I wish I could take it back... I can’t text him now after all this time. I don’t deserve that convenience._

Kageyama ordered a cab and changed quickly. _I have to see him, I have to give these back personally so he knows I read them. He needs to know everything._

_..._

As he continues to walk in circles he scolds himself for letting himself be so reckless. _Why would I leave my house in the middle of the night. Now I’m lost and no one is out here for me to ask for directions. I can’t call anyone because they would think I’m insane. Should I just go home?_ He was about to give up when he turned a corner and saw a dark figure on a bench up ahead. He called out but they didn’t move. He continued to approach, “Hey!! Can you point me towards the right direction? I think I got turned around!” The person’s back tensed, it was clear he was trying to ignore him. Kageyama began to feel annoyed with stranger, “excuse me!! You! On the bench! Can you hear? I just need help finding an address.” Kageyama continued approaching when he saw the body finally turn towards him, he could see orange hair stick out around their face and familiar brown eyes widening.

Kageyama gasped and started walking towards the familiar face more quickly, “Hinata? Is that you? I’ve been look—“

Hinata ran, Kageyama was shocked and confused but quickly recovered. He began chasing after Hinata, “Hinata you idiot! It’s me! Kageyama! From Karasuno! Your sette—” Hinata did not stop, Kageyama couldn’t finish his sentence if he wanted to keep up. He reached out his hand when he was about to catch up to Hinata when he realized he no longer had the letter in his hand. Kageyama stopped abruptly and it was like Hinata shifted into 5th gear and flew away. He was gone in an instant. Kageyama caught his breath as he jogged back the way they had come, eyes focused on the floor, searching for the fallen envelope. _Fuck. Why did he run? Maybe he didn’t recognize me? Or maybe that’s why he ran... He’s faster than I remember. And_ ** _bigger_** _. Have his eyes always been that big? His eyes are lighter than they used to be. I can’t believe that dumbass ran... I haven’t felt this kind of energy since the last time we raced back in school._ Kageyama smiled to himself remembering how they ran almost everywhere together because they would make even the smallest things a competition. _Hinata-boke, I have missed you._

He was almost to the bench when he finally found the envelope laying on the ground. He sighed in relief and started to look for the address again now back at square one after a run that lead him nowhere.

...

# Hinata:

Hinata was sprawled on the couch catching his breath when he looked up to see Kenma staring at him. “Are you okay Sho?”

Hinata covered his face with his hands and spoke in a rushed voice, “Kenma you have no idea... I was out for a run! I was eating a donut, it was an old fashion cinnamon this time. So good, you have to try it. And THEN this person starts yelling at me asking for directions, obviously I ignore it at first because stranger danger but he still comes at me yelling and I realize I know the voice and I look and ITS KAGEFUCKINGYAMA!!!” Hinata lets out a frustrated grunt and rolls himself onto the floor.

Kenma stood there surprised, “you saw Kageyama?? What did he say? What did you say?”

Hinata banged his head onto the floor, “nothing... I ran. He ran too, I felt him almost catch up to me too... but then he stopped out of no where. I wanted to turn around and see what happened but I just kept running home.”

Kenma laughed, “you ran?? I can’t believe you just ran! That sounds just like you though. He stopped? You think he got tired?”

Hinata thought for a second, “maybe... but the Kageyama I know wouldn’t have ever stopped in the middle of a race like that. WAIT!! Do you think he LET me win? No way. That’s not how this works he can’t ju—“

“Shoyo calm down weirdo, something must have stopped him. Do you want him to find you? What are you going to do if he shows up here?”

Hinata sighs, “I have no idea... Part of me wants to see him and listen to what he has to say but the rest of me is still embarrassed about having sent the letters... and if I’m being honest I’m embarrassed about everything, all the unanswered texts and the way I left. I just feel like there is so much we need to talk about but neither of us is good at talking about anything other than volleyball, especially not what we are _feeling_. And what if he didn’t even read the letters and I’m just thinking he did what if he’s just giving it back because he doesn’t care? I can’t take another situation like what happened with Oikawa the other night, especially from Kageyama who—“

“Wait what? You heard back from Oikawa?? What happened?” Kenma interrupted.

“He basically just rejected me and said he was sorry and that he couldn’t feel the same blah blah blah. I knew it was coming because he’s always been so obviously in love with Iwaizumi but it still hurt, you know? And if I get rejected again then that’s 3 for 3 rejections and I may have to leave the country again just from the embarrassment.”

“Shoyo I'm trying to keep up but you’re making it difficult.” Kenma shook his head and sat on the floor beside his friend, “what do you mean 3 for 3? You heard back from Miya too?”

Hinata sighed, “no. That’s the problem. I know it’s a rejection from him because he hasn’t talked to me at all since practice. Everyone on the team knew I was sick and everyone sent me messages to get better except for him. He’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t feel the same with his silence so that makes me three for thr— ow!”

Kenma flicked Hinata’s forehead, “okay just stop for a second. Let’s think about this rationally. Obviously Oikawa said no, that’s okay. Kageyama is literally out on the street looking for you. You have no clue what he’s actually here to say, so it’s not a rejection. And Miya hasn’t said anything which to be clear, isn’t a rejection. Maybe he’s waiting to see you at practice or something? The point is: You DONT know what they feel until you actually stop and listen. You need to quit letting your mind race and creating situations or scenarios on your own. It takes two to decide what the next step is. It’s not 3 for 3. It’s one rejection that you’ll get over, and two unknowns. Got it?”

Hinata let the words of his friend soak into his mind, “You’re right Kenma, but what do I do now then? I left Kageyama out on the street looking lost as ever.”

Kenma looked him over, “well what do you want to do? What will you regret the least?”

Hinata closed his eyes and pictured his options. _I can leave it alone and just not see him. I can go find him since he came all this way. I can pretend I have no idea what the envelope is. I can say I already have a boyfriend. I can say it was a dare and not true. I can tell him it’s exactly how I feel. Is it? Do I still feel that way? Ugh._

“So what’s it gonna be?” Asked Kenma

“I guess— I guess if I just let him go I would regret it. I would always wonder what he was here to say and why he came all this way. I should probably talk to him. I’m going to go look for him, I’m sure he’s still lost.”

Kenma nodded to him and helped him to his feet, “you can do it Sho, you’re stronger than your fear.”

Hinata gave him a nervous smile, "thanks Kenma, I’ll be back later.”

When Hinata opened the front door he saw the back of a man sitting on his steps mumbling to himself.

“K-Kageyama... I was just uh going to go look for you... You found your way quickly.” Hinata laughed nervously.

Kageyama turned towards the door to meet his eyes, “Actually, I uh asked this man at the donut shop near the bench you were on if he knew the way. He’s nice... Here. Sit.” He held out a small bag towards Hinata. Hinata approached him slowly and took the paper bag as he sat down next to him on the steps, maintaining as much distance as possible in the small space. There were two cinnamon donuts inside, Hinata’s stomach grumbled as if on cue making him blush. “Thank you,” he smiled and took one donut then handed the bag back. Kageyama took the remaining donut and they began to eat in silence.

Kageyama broke the silence first, “so... why did you run?”

Hinata almost choked on his donut, _why is he always so direct??_ He cleared his throat, “I’m sorry. I just panicked I guess.” Kageyama stayed silent, Hinata took a deep breath clearing his nerves. _If he’s going to ask questions directly then so am I, fair is fair._

Hinata turned to face him, “why did you come? Uh I mean why did you make the trip down here? Why are you looking for me?”

Kageyama turned his body to mirror Hinata’s, “I came to find you, to _see_ you, because I read your letters.”

Hearing his cool and collected voice made Hinata gulp. “Uh so what do you have to say about what you read?”

Kageyama gave him a small smile. He looked up at the sky and sighed before returning his gaze to Hinata, “I wanted to tell you that I—“

Kageyama was interrupted by a cab’s loud honking. Kageyama’s eyes looked panicked and he looked at his watch then back at Hinata. He began speaking in a rushed voice.

“Hinata, I'm so sorry, I have to leave now in order to get back in time for practice. What... What are you doing this weekend? I know this is random and probably even ridiculous of me to ask because of how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other, but will you come and see me so we can talk about everything? I think we really need to get it all out there. I know I have a lot to say and... that way we uh wouldn’t have to rush or worry about anyone being there to interrupt. Uh not like that. I just mean we won’t feel pressured by other people around. Just so we can take our time and talk things out. Is that okay?” His eyes pleaded as he looked at Hinata, knowing a blush had formed on his face.

Hinata looked at him and nodded, “yes I can— I can go see you. Could I uh get the envelope back?”

Kageyama smiles victoriously, “yes, I can give it back after we talk.”

Hinata blushed as he took in the sight of his smile and nodded. “Okay.”

They both got up at the same time when the cab driver honked again. They stood awkwardly, not knowing what the next appropriate move would be.

Hinata looked towards the street, “you should probably go before he leaves you”

Kageyama sighed and turned towards the cab driver giving him the coldest look he could muster after he beeped again. The cab driver visibly tensed and stopped honking.

Hinata giggled at the sight.

Kageyama stepped towards Hinata quickly and grabbed his hand, “Hinata, I’m sorry. About how today went, and about everything. That’s not all I want to say to you, I have years worth of explaining to do. Please, just wait for me. Come see me this weekend and I swear I’ll tell you everything. You can decide after, just hear me out. I’ll be waiting for you. I have to go now but I will see you soon.” He squeezed Hinata’s hand more tightly and pulled Hinata into a quick embrace. Hinata wrapped his arms around the taller man’s waist and smelled him. Kageyama pulled back and ruffled his hair before walking to the cab and calling back over his shoulder, “I’ll see you this weekend!”

Hinata watched the taxi drive off, as soon as it was out of sight he sat back onto the stairs and stared at the sky. _  
_

_What the fuck just happened. I’m going to go see him this weekend?? How did that escalate so quickly?? He has so much to tell me? What are the fucking chances the cab would arrive just when he was about to say something?? But WHAT? Am I really going to make the trip to get my heart broken? He’s definitely still going to be late to practice._ Hinata laughed in amusement and comforted himself with the fact that it wasn’t a rejection, at least not yet. He had no idea what to categorize the interaction as but he knew it wasn’t a “no.” Hinata smiled to himself and sighed. _I can’t stand myself, why do I have butterflies in my stomach? I feel weightless. Yes, I am terrified. Yes, I have no idea what’s going to happen. Yes. he smells delicious. Yes, his hands are soft and rough at the same— FOCUS. I’m just going to savor the moment, regardless of what is coming._

Hinata got up to share what had happened with his friend, “Kenma!”

Hinata walked in and found Kenma and Kuroo huddled by the window. They looked towards Hinata with wide smiles.

Kuroo raised an eyebrow, “hey Shoyo, you’re looking happy.”

Hinata laughed, “Kuroo-san I didn’t know you were here. I guess you guys saw what happened. I have no idea what to make of it.”

Kuroo smiled slyly, “what do you mean? It was pretty clear to me! He wants to get in your pant—“

Kenma smacked his shoulder, “what did you talk about?”

Hinata turned red, “no, no? It wasn’t like that.” He laughed nervously, “he just said we had a lot to talk about.. and then he had to leave to get to practice but he uh asked me what I was doing this weekend and invited me to see him but that’s it.”

Kuroo cackled, “I told you!”

Kenma tried to hide his smile, “are you going to go? It sounds pretty intimate after all this time.”

Hinata gave them a small smile in an effort to hide his embarrassment, “well he said there was a lot to talk about and it’s true, plus I’ll get the letter back and I mean it was nice to see him again. Also, I haven’t been anywhere in a while so it may be fun.”

Kuroo and Kenma looked at each other. “I think it’s great Shoyo, I’m glad you’re putting yourself out there.” Reassured Kenma. Kuroo nodded in agreement.

Hinata scratches his head and smiled shyly, “me too.”

...

The rest of Hinata’s morning was uneventful, he kept replaying the moment and their brief conversation over and over in his head while he ate breakfast and got ready for practice. It wasn’t until he got on his bike that he remembered the yellow envelope and who it belonged to. He bikes slower than usual, dreading the idea of facing Atsumu when he didn’t even know exactly what he wrote to him. When he arrived at the gym his teammates greeted him and welcomed him back. All but one. As Hinata looked around the gym he was interrupted by Coach Foster and Meian. They scolded him and forbid him from staying to practice late for the rest of the week. After a long lecture, he was allowed to join the practice that had already started. There was still no sign of Atsumu, Hinata wanted to ask right away where he was but wanted to remain inconspicuous. He talked to Bokuto during the first water break to see if he knew anything.

“How was practice yesterday Bokuto-San?”

“It was good! A little weird with you guys missing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well not having the regular setter really throws everything off, and of course your energy always helps me get fired up!”

Hinata giggled, “thanks! You mean Atsumu-san wasn’t here yesterday either?”

“Yup! Poor guy pushed himself too hard, Myaa-sam called in for him to tell us he was too weak to come in yesterday and hasn’t recovered enough to come back today. I guess you're really good at healing! He should be back tomorrow though, especially with his brother taking care of him. I bet he’s eating the BEST food! It’s crazy to think that you both got sick, I always stay with you guys too so that could have been me!! Akaashi would have been so upset with me if I got sick.” Bokuto started to pout at the idea of worrying Akaashi.

Hinata smiled, feeling incredibly thankful for the ever so honest Bokuto. Hinata was overwhelmed with the news, he felt incredibly guilty. _It’s my fault he got sick. I kept asking for another set, I made him stay so late because of how selfish I am. He’s always so good at taking care of himself, he must hate me so much right now. Why did I push so hard? What should I do? Should I go see him and apologize? Should I text him? Should I just wait for him to come back?_

_Ugh I should call Kenm—_

Hinata’s thoughts were interrupted by the whistle signaling the end of their break. _  
_

_..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are y'all still reading? :p  
> Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I'm not gonna lie, the story may stop being so PG eventually, lets see where this goes.  
> Let me know how terrible im doing lol
> 
> _<https://twitter.com/stayvgolden> _


	4. Don't Be Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Hinata stepped in the dark room, it took his eyes a few seconds to adjust enough to see where the bed was. He approached the bed carefully, avoiding the random objects and clothes scattered across the floor. He cleared his throat, “Atsumu-san, I brought you some soup.”
> 
> He heard a loud grunt come from a lump on the bed. Hinata set the tray down on the nightstand, “Atsumu-san, it’s me, Shoyo. I have some soup for y—.”
> 
> “HINATA??” The lump shot up on the bed revealing Atsumu who looked at Hinata wildly. “What are ya doing here?? Where’s Samu??”
> 
> Or:  
> Hinata has an unexpected encounter after practice.  
> As usual, Hinata questions himself and his decisions.  
> HInata and Atsumu finally meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 4.2k+ words long

At the end of practice Hinata went straight to the showers knowing he wasn’t allowed to stay late, not that he would want to without Atsumu there to set for him. Hinata had worried about Atsumu all day, he decided he owed him a personal visit instead of a text especially because it was his fault he was home anyway. He showers and changes quickly, taking his phone from his bag and texting Kuroo to ask for Atsumu’s address. As he walked toward the exit he saw his teammate standing by the door.

Hinata smiled, “Have a good evening Sakusa-kun”

Sakusa eyed Hinata, “Hinata. Have you learned nothing?”

Hinata stopped walking in surprise, “what do you mean?”

Sakusa steps towards him until he is close enough for his low and stern voice to be heard, “You haven’t changed. Not only did you put yourself at risk, _again_ , but you also put your teammate at risk this time. There’s a reason practice ends when it does, there’s a reason we have days off, there’s a reason for all of it. You may not be able to control yourself but you shouldn’t drag others down with you too. Atsumu’s too stupid to say no and look at where he is now. Not here.” His voice was cold and his eyes frozen as he looked down at Hinata.

Hinata was shocked and felt his lip quiver, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happ—“ Hinata’s voice cracked as tears began to fall.

Sakusa looked away from Hinata, “Don’t be sorry. Be careful.” And with that he turned and walked out of the gym.

Hinata was left standing alone thinking of Sakusa’s words. He had already thought Sakusa didn’t like him much and this moment confirmed it. He was the only team member that seemed less inviting of him when he first joined the team. Even now, Sakusa never really seemed to warm up to him, it was more like he became indifferent towards him. This was probably the longest conversation they had had in the months they played together and it ended with Hinata in tears.

When Hinata heard steps approaching behind him he collected himself and walked out of the building as if nothing had happened. He stood beside his bike staring at the address Kuroo sent him. _After everything Sakusa said, how can I show my face at Atsumu’s house. Sakusa-san is right, all I did was drag him down..._

Hinata began riding home, he felt like his body and mind were going through the motions but his heart felt heavy as it argued with logic.

_Isn’t that all the more reason to see him? I need to set things right and clear the air. I can’t have the team setter upset with me, everyone would notice and I might not get the ball as much and I wouldn’t get to see him smile at me when I land a spike... I can’t just ignore it._

Hinata turned the corner and rode back towards the gym and further to Atsumu’s place not giving himself any time to rethink his decision. When he arrived at the address he just stood by the gate on his bike, overthinking.

_I shouldn’t have come. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if I wake him up? He needs rest, I should just leave him alone to recover. Maybe I should have brought a snack or someth—_

“Ya come ta see ‘Tsumu?” A voice asked behind him.

Hinata jumped slightly when he saw Osamu walking up with groceries. “Osamu-san! Uh yes but I think I might just go home, he needs rest and I don’t want to be a bother.”

Osamu looked at the nervous wreck in front of him and smiled, “just come in wouldya? I don’t wanna ask again. Stay for dinner.”

Hinata felt like it wasn’t a suggestion and mumbled his thanks as he followed quietly inside.

The house was spacious and modern, there was minimal décor and it was surprising how clean everything was. Hinata’s eyes looked at everything in the line of vision as discreetly as he could while he followed Osamu to the kitchen. “Do you live here too, Osamu-San?”

Osamu smirked, “Hell no, you couldn’t pay me to live with Tsumu. He’s dramatic, messy, and an ass. I had enough of that when we were back home. I’m just here babysittin.”

Hinata giggled, “looks pretty clean to me” he said as he looked around the place.

Osamu chuckled, “Actually, I cleaned when I first stopped by yesterday, in case it was more than a fever. I didn’t want to get sick too. Thankfully for me, it was just his body needin' a break.”

Hinata looked down at his hands, “it’s my fault he got sick, I pushed him too hard.”

Osamu began putting away the groceries he wouldn’t need, “listen, Tsumu may be an idiot but he never does anything he doesn’t want to, so ya can’t just blame yerself.”

Hinata let out a small sigh and forced a smile, “do you need any help?”

...

After Osamu breezed through ninety percent of the work and Hinata peeled and cut a few potatoes the soup they worked on was ready. Hinata began serving it into a bowl when Osamu pulled out his phone. He saw him typing quickly as he pressed his lips together in an almost animated way.

“Uh, hey I have to go check on my— on one of my staff. They are having some trouble with uh an order. Do ya mind feeding Tsumu for me and stayin' with him ‘til I come back?”

Hinata almost dropped the bowl of soup, “me? I don’t kno—“

“Thanks so much! Just go through the first door on the right down the hall. I’ll be back soon.” Osamu interrupted, already walking towards the door, leaving Hinata standing alone in the kitchen.

Hinata began to feel the weight of the task he was given. _He wants me to feed Atsumu. He said it like he was a cat or something. And what's with people just leaving in the middle of a conversation like that? I didn’t even say yes, does Atsumu even know I’m here? Ugh this day is going nothing like I thought it would_... _Okay, the sooner I feed him the sooner I can leave._

Hinata walked towards the door with the soup. He was careful not to make a sound and took slow steps to prepare himself for what he might find. He was a ball of nerves as he stood just outside the door, staring at the knob. When he finally gathered the courage, he managed to knock lightly and waited, there was no answer. He knocked a bit louder and waited, he was finally greeted with a grunt from inside the room. Hinata continued to stand outside not knowing whether it was an invitation or not. He shifted his weight, feeling like he would explode if he just kept staring at the door.

He turned the knob and opened the door slowly, careful not to spill the soup. His nostrils were filled with the smell of Atsumu, it was the same smell from the car ride he had experienced the week before but ten times more concentrated. The smell was deliciously suffocating, making Hinata briefly forget why he was in there. When Hinata stepped in the dark room, it took his eyes a few seconds to adjust enough to see where the bed was. He approached the bed carefully, avoiding the random objects and clothes scattered across the floor. He cleared his throat, “Atsumu-san, I brought you some soup.”

He heard a loud grunt come from a lump on the bed. Hinata set the tray down on the nightstand, “Atsumu-san, it’s me, Shoyo. I have some soup for y—.”

“HINATA??” The lump shot up on the bed revealing Atsumu who looked at Hinata wildly. “What are ya doing here?? Where’s Samu??”

Hinata’s lip started to quiver as he rushed to speak, “Atsumu-San! I’m so sorry. I know you’re mad at me for making you sick but I really didn’t mean to. I know I’m the last person you want to see, I came to apologize but then I just wanted to leave you alone but then Osamu-San made me stay and then he left and you didn’t eat and soup. I have soup—“

“Shoyo, relax. M'not mad at ya.” Atsumu ran his fingers through his hair, not knowing what he looked like after being in bed for two days. The adrenaline from the initial scare of hearing Hinata’s voice had worn off and he fell back slightly. He shifted his body to catch himself but Hinata was at his side immediately, “be careful, you still need to rest.” He held Atsumu firmly by his shoulder with one had as he adjusted the pillow for him. Once he released his grip, Atsumu was sitting up just enough to be able to eat. Hinata fixed the comforter back onto his body and tucked the edges under Atsumu so that only his head an neck were visible.

Hinata smiled at the burrito in front of him, “I’m going to turn the light on.”

Atsumu hummed a reply after closing his eyes to avoid the light from the lamp and from to ray of sunshine that brought him soup.

When he turned on the light Hinata’s breath hitched when he took in Atsumu, he was somehow flushed with color and pale at the same time. His hair was disheveled and oily, and his lips looked dry. Hinata reached out his hand instinctively towards Atsumu’s cheek, his body wanted to comfort the stranger he saw in front of him. _He looks so tired but.. what’s wrong with me? Is it bad that I still think he looks beautiful? How is that even possible?_

Atsumu finally opened his eyes and found Hinata staring at him, Hinata pulled his hand back immediately and smiled nervously.

Atsumu gave Hinata a small smile, “that bad huh? I know I don’t look my best but I didn’t think I’d scare ya.”

Hinata blushed, that had been the complete opposite of what he was thinking, “No! You look great! Uh no it’s not that. I’m just— I just forgot to bring you some water! You must be thirsty!”

Hinata ran out of the room and collected himself before he returned to find Atsumu had not moved at all.

Hinata set the glass down, “Aren’t you hungry?”

“Starvin' actually” Atsumu responded.

“Oh. Are you missing anything? You can go ahead and eat.” Hinata gestured to the bowl.

Atsumu looked down at his body then back at Hinata, “well, I’m a little stuck.”

“Oh!!” Hinata walked towards the bed and reached out to untuck the cover.

“Wait! You can’t!” Atsumu panicked. 

Hinata stopped and stared at Atsumu confused.

Atsumu smiled, entertained. “Ya see, I’m actually very comfortable. I don’t think I’ll be able to find this exact position again if I move. But... I’m also hungry. And to be honest, I’m still a little weak, which means there’s only one solution.”

Hinata stood by the bed awkwardly as he waited for the answer, having no idea what Atsumu was trying to tell him.

“Yer gonna have to feed me yerself, it’s the only way.” Atsumu gave Hinata a half smile awaiting his answer with an eyebrow raised.

Hinata could feel the heat spreading across his face, “Atsumu-San are— are you sure? I don’t know...”

Atsumu eagerly watched a flustered Hinata, “mmm yes I’m sure, it would be a great way to make it up to me.”

Hinata looked up and met his eyes, he felt so awkward but he was the whole reason he was stuck in bed in the first place. If this was one way he could help, he was going to take it. _He looks like he hasn’t left his bed so he probably hasn’t read the letter_. _What if this is the last time we spend together before he knows everything? I should just try to help and try and enjoy our time together. Plus... he looks so cute under the cover._

Hinata nodded his head, “okay Atsumu-san.”

Atsumu’s mouth dropped open, he hadn’t expected Hinata to agree. His ears felt hot and he suddenly felt like he needed to get out of the covers but he didn’t want to pass off the opportunity so he did his best to keep up the cool guy act.

Hinata took the bowl and stood by the bed taking a spoonful of soup, “ready?” He asked shyly.

Atsumu wiggled over slightly, “sit” he motioned to the bed with his eyes.

Hinata hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed facing Atsumu, less than an arms length away. Hinata glanced over at Atsumu who was looking at him with his mouth open way too wide.

He giggled as he recollected a spoonful of soup then reached out towards Atsumu’s mouth, “blow.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened and he painfully stopped himself from taking the direction inappropriately. His ears felt like they were on fire but he did what he was told. Atsumu gently blew on the soup and opened his mouth slightly, Hinata gently guided the spoon into the small “O” shaped lips, concentrating on not bumping the teeth or lips in the way. Atsumu wrapped his lips around the spoon and shifted his head backwards slightly to release it leaving the shiny silver empty in Hinata’s hand. Hinata had been holding his breath. Even though the entire motion took less than a second he felt like it was in slow motion. As Atsumu chewed Hinata readied the next bite. Once he was no longer scared of spilling, he let himself focus on what really took his breath away. His eyes were glued to Atsumu’s full lips. The way they shaped around the metal quickly and left no trace behind, their pink color and the way Atsumu’s tounge would pop out to collect a small drop he had left on his lip. It was enchanting to watch, Hinata was sad to see the bowl begin to empty, he could watch this all day.

Atsumu had been full a few bites ago but he loved the way Hinata’s eyes stared at him. He didn’t want to give up a single drop of the attention he was receiving, he would throw in random licks to his lips to see the faint blush that Hinata couldn’t hide. That’s when he decided he would eat the entire pot of soup if he had to.

When Hinata gave Atsumu the last bite a bit dripped down the corner of his mouth towards his chin. Atsumu tried to catch it with his tongue but he wasn’t fast enough and it continued its path. Hinata reached out and placed his hand on Atsumu’s neck then used his thumb to swipe at the droplet. The rough pad of his thumb touching his skin made Atsumu shiver. Hinata removed his hand and quickly swiped his tongue over his thumb before getting up to return the bowl to the kitchen without a word.

Atsumu could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He tried to shake his head violently enough to remove the thoughts that filled his head at the sight of Hinata’s tongue. He had to admit, he had been beaten.

Little did he know, just outside the door Hinata was sitting on the floor silently screaming at himself for letting himself lose control at the end. _Oh my God why did I have to do that?? He probably thinks I’m gross. What the fuck Shoyo you couldn’t just be satisfied with the show?? You had to taste it too?? Ugh I’ve been single for too long, everything he does is hot. His messy hair, looking at me with his droopy eyes, his pink cheeks—maybe I am gross..._

Hinata picked himself up and served some more soup in the same bowl for himself. He went back towards Atsumu’s room not wanting to stay away for too long. He stood in the doorway, “Atsumu-san? Is it okay if I eat in here with you?”

Atsumu smiled over at him surprised, “I’d love that. Sit.” Hinata returned over to sit on the edge of the bed where he had been previously and began to eat quietly.

Atsumu waited until Hinata filled his mouth and said, “Ya know Shoyo, this isn’t what I imagined our first date would be like.”

Hinata started to cough trying not to choke, causing Atsumu to laugh, “relax, I’m kiddin.”

Hinata cleared his throat, “so you _haven’t_ given our first date much thought?” He used the smoothest voice he could muster even though he knew his face gave him away.

Atsumu couldn’t hide his surprise, he tried to collect himself with a crooked smile to hide the instant panic he felt. “I mean I’m sure I’ll think of something, don’t ya worry.”

Hinata smiled to himself, satisfied with the impact he had on the man beside him. He continued to eat not knowing what else to say.

Atsumu shifted his position to lay on his side facing Hinata, “did ya really come because you thought I was mad at ya?”

Hinata met his droopy eyes and gave him a single nod.

“Ya know it wasn’t yer fault right? I knew I should have stopped. But I didn’t want to, I was having fun. Plus, I could never be mad at ya.”

Hinata’s eyes began to water, “why not?”

Atsumu gave him a tired smile, “ain’t it obvious?” _  
_

“Not to me,” he said quietly.

Atsumu looked him in the eyes more intensely than he had before, “it’s because I li—“

“TSUMU! Ya cured yet??”

Osamu’s voice ripped through the two teammates effectively killing their moment beyond repair.

Atsumu grunted in annoyance and rolled his eyes. Osamu came in the room as if on cue and took in the sight before him, “Somehow you look even worse than when I left ya.”

Hinata giggled and stood up, “he ate lots of your delicious soup so he should be feeling better. Well uh I should probably get going. I hope you feel better soon Atsumu-san, see you at practice.”

“Mmm thank you for stopping by, it means a lot.” Atsumu mumbled.

Hinata smiled, “bye Osamu-san thank you for the food.”

Hinata quickly walked to the kitchen and washed the dish, he could hear the two Miyas bickering in the other room about who knows what. As Hinata is on his way out, the only messy thing in the house caught his eye. A small table holding a single lamp and a pile of unorganized mail. Hinata froze, he knew that’s where he would find his letter. He listened to make sure he could still hear talking in the distance and he approached the pile. His fingers began to move meticulously through the stack, his eyes searching for the familiar envelope. He finally found it wedged in a men’s health magazine. As he held the envelope in his hand he realized he was holding a bomb. _I can’t believe I found it, before it’s even been opened. Is this a sign that I should take it back? Is this fate giving me a second chance? I don’t know what to—_ _  
_

_“_ Shoyo? What’s that?”

... _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for this short update, I hope you still enjoy. Next chapter we will see Atsumu's perspective. Additionally, as you may have started to notice in this chapter, things are going to start heating up as the chapters continue so here is your warning but I wanted to start slow :) 
> 
> Twitter for our thoughts:
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	5. I See You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu looked at his brother with annoyance, “SAMU!! Why the hell did ya have to come in the room like that?? Ya didn’t think you’d be interruptin??”
> 
> Osamu rolled his eyes, “it’s not like ya would have done anything. Yer too scared of rejection for someone that never shuts up about how great he is. I gave ya plenty of time with him, you were JUST now gettin to the good stuff?? That’s not my fault.”
> 
> Atsumu tried to keep his voice low, “it’s not that easy! I have to set everything up. It takes time, I can’t just confess out of no where like a creep. It’s about the mood. Plus, I had to see if he was pickin up what I was puttin down ya know?”
> 
> Osamu smiled, “ya think yer being sick in bed contributed to the mood?”
> 
> “Samu im serious!” Whined Atsumu.
> 
> Osamu shook his head, “well was he?”
> 
> Atsumu smiled, “Yer not gonna believe me but I think he actually was. And I had finally gotten the courage to tell him I liked him but then ya had to go and ruin the moment.”
> 
> Or: Atsumu opens up to Osamu about what's been on his mind. Atsumu reads what a nervous Hinata was hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 3.3k+ words

During the car ride after leaving practice much later than usual, Atsumu started to feel the soreness and exhaustion of pushing himself too hard. Even so, he couldn’t take the smile off of his face, thanks to Hinata.

_He really is magic ain’t he? It’s like he makes ya forget yer tired, and it doesn’t smack ya in the face until he leaves._ Atsumu’s thoughts kept him busy as he opened his door. As soon as he walked into his home his night lost its magic upon seeing a familiar face.

“Where the hell ya been? Do ya know what time it is??” Osamu demanded.

“Well hello to you too. Practice obviously, what’re ya doin here ‘Samu?”

Osamu approached Atsumu in the blink of an eye and punched his arm, “ya were supposed to stop by for dinner!” He smacked him on the head before continuing, “ and then ya didn’t even text me to cancel even though ya promised ya’d meet us!” He smacked Atsumu’s shoulder, “we sat there waitin’ and I started gettin worried when ya weren’t answerin.”

“Ow! Ah! Damn Samu!!” Atsumu did his best to stay out of his brother’s reach but he was too tired so he endured. “What do ya mean dinn— oh _fuck_. IM SORRY Samu! I totally forgot!” Atsumu realized he had completely missed having dinner with his brother and his boyfriend, a dinner Osamu had reminded him of every other day and had been planned around Atsumu’s schedule. He shrugged his shoulders slightly, “but in my defense, I already know your boyfriend. Plus, ya know he isn’t a fan of me— ow! Stop hittin me!”

Osamu sighed in frustration, “yer an ass. That’s not the point, ya still kept Suna and me waitin. What the hell kept you so late anyway? You look like shit.”

As if for dramatic effect, Atsumu’s legs gave out and he fell forward onto his brother, “Tsumu?? Y’okay??” Osamu bent down and picked up his brother like he was a sack of rice, walked towards his room, and tossed him onto his bed in a similar fashion.

“Owwww” Atsumu groaned.

Osamu began to examine his brother, he lay his hand on his forehead and could immediately tell he was way too warm. He got to work quickly.

Atsumu felt like he was lost, he kept fading in and out of sleep. He could feel someone moving him around and he heard his brother cursing him but Atsumu was too tired to try and fight, complain, or even figure out what his brother was saying. Instead, he allowed himself to be swallowed by sleep.

...

Osamu woke him up in the morning with a meal.

“Samu? What time is it?”

Osamu began checking his temperature, “10:30.”

Atsumu sat up quickly, “I’m gonna be late for practice!”

Osamu pushed Atsumu’s face down with his free hand forcing him to lay back, “no practice for ya today, I already took care of everythin' so just shut up and eat.”

“But I—“

“I’m not gonna repeat myself again, try to get up and I’m gonna punch ya.”

Atsumu could see Osamu was serious so he forced himself to eat quietly. Even though he knew Osamu was right, he _did_ feel like shit, he tried to hold a scowl as he ate to show how displeased he was with his brother’s orders. Though as usual, the food was so delicious he couldn’t help but enjoy it with a smile.

...

Atsumu was bored out of his mind, the first day he watched a few volleyball games he was behind on and tried to keep himself entertained but he hated unexpected days off. Usually he would take one day off a week and even then he would still work out and have plans for the day to keep him busy. He hated sitting in his room alone, feeling like he was wasting time. It was now his second day at home missing practice, he felt significantly better but still didn’t meet _Dr. Osamu’s_ standards so he was forced to stay home yet again.

Atsumu was all complaints, “Yer not even a doctor, why the hell should I listen to ya?”

Osamu glared at him, “don’t ya try to get mad at me when it’s yer own damn fault yer here. And ya never even told me why ya stayed out so late.” Osamu punched his shoulder when he remembered he was supposed to be mad at Atsumu, “AND ya stood me and Suna up at dinner. So if anyone should be upset it’s _me_ , who has to take care of an idiot.”

Atsumu sat back remembering the past couple of days. “Samu, Im sorry. I’ve been such a dick.”

Osamu smiles, “it’s nothin new.”

Atsumu lays his head back and closes his eyes, “I honestly completely forgot about dinner. I stayed late for practice like always with Shoyo and Bokkun. But then Bokkun left and I don’t know Shoyo just kept askin' for more sets and I couldn’t say no at first because I hate losin’ but eventually... I knew I was pushing my limits but I still couldn’t make myself stop... I couldn’t tell him I was tired. I mean, I wanted to be there he wasn’t makin me or anythin, Im always up for extra practice and we do it everyday. But by the end it was different... it was like he _needed_ me to be there. And I couldn’t let him down, ya know? Sayin that out loud sounds so stupid.”

Osamu sighed and sat down, “ya like him then?”

Atsumu groaned, “ya really have a way with words don’t ya? I gave ya a whole monologue and ya summed it up in 4 words. Yer too direct Samu.”

Osamu started at his brother blankly, “and yer an idiot. How long then?”

Atsumu sighed in defeat, “I don’t know. He caught my eye the first time we played against him, ya member? I thought it was just because of the game and how untamed and trusting he was. He was like a blank canvas of potential, and a challenge I wanted to beat Kageyama at. But then when he joined the team it was different, he ended up challenging me. Pushing me to my limits, instead of the other way around like it usually is with everyone else. He’s never satisfied with himself, I just feel like he gets it. He’s like me.”

Osamu nodded, “mmm, an idiot.”

Atsumu couldn’t help but burst out laughing, “yer an ass, but basically.”

Osamu smiled, “so ya gonna tell him? Or ya gonna sit here cryin' cause yer scared.”

Atsumu covered his face with his hands, “DAMN SAMU!! GIVE ME A BREAK. It’s not that easy. The world isn’t grey and grey like you and boring ass Sun— ow!!”

Osamu punched Atsumu’s thigh, “shut up about Suna, when ya can’t even show up and meet him.”

Atsumu let out a frustrated grunt, “Samu I already _KNOW_ him,”

Osamu rolled his eyes, “I’m not doing this with you right now. Back to the point, yer a coward. What’s the worse that could happen?”

Atsumu felt the guilt over take him, “Fine, Samu I’m sorry. Let’s do dinner this Friday, after practice. I won’t stay late, I promise.”

“Tsumu yer a liar so I’ll believe it when I see it. And stop avoiding my question.”

Atsumu took in a deep breath, “I’ll take care of reservations and everything, y’all just have to show up. And SAMU what’d ya mean what’s the worse that could happen?? We are teammates! No relationships is an unspoken rule for all teams, it’s too complicated. Plus, I don’t know if it’s just me who feels this, Shoyo’s nice to everyone anyways so I’m probably just readin into it. I’ll get over it. Now leave me alone, I’m tired.”

Atsumu rolled over and faced away from his brother, effectively ending the conversation.

...

Atsumu didn’t wake up until he heard quiet voices in the kitchen. He chose to ignore them assuming Suna had come to keep Osamu company. He reached for his phone for the first time in what felt like years. He barely had any battery left but he looked through his notifications anyway, responding to all the get well messages he had received. Although he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t stop himself from noticing the two teammates that hadn’t sent him a message, Hinata and Sakusa. He half expect Sakusa to at least call him stupid since it seemed like he talked to Atsumu more than he did to other teammates but there was nothing. _This isn’t like Hinata though, I would have expected him to at least send me a message. Shouldn’t he be concerned for me? his setter? I did stay with him all night... ugh why am I even thinking about this, I don’t care. It’s whatever. Hell, I’ll be over it soon. I just need to go on a date or somethin. I gotta stop staying too late for practice too. I need to get a life outside of that gym—_

Atsumu’s thoughts were interrupted by a nervous Hinata offering him soup. _  
_

_..._

### After Hinata left his room

Atsumu looked at his brother with annoyance, “SAMU!! Why the hell did ya have to come in the room like that?? Ya didn’t think you’d be interruptin??”

Osamu rolled his eyes, “it’s not like ya would have done anything. Yer too scared of rejection for someone that never shuts up about how great he is. I gave ya plenty of time with him, you were JUST now gettin to the good stuff?? That’s not my fault.”

Atsumu tried to keep his voice low, “it’s not that easy! I have to set everything up. It takes time, I can’t just confess out of no where like a creep. It’s about the mood. Plus, I had to see if he was pickin up what I was puttin down ya know?”

Osamu smiled, “ya think yer being sick in bed contributed to the mood?”

“Samu im serious!” Whined Atsumu.

Osamu shook his head, “well was he?”

Atsumu smiled, “Yer not gonna believe me but I think he actually was. And I had finally gotten the courage to tell him I liked him but then ya had to go and ruin the moment.”

“Why don’t ya go tell him now?”

Atsumu was confused, “what do ya mean? He’s gone.”

Osamu faced the door, “nah, I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard the front door yet. He’s still here.”

Atsumu got up quickly and ran his fingers through his hair, “how do I look?”

Osamu stares at him blankly, “awful.”

Atsumu pushed past him, “good enough.” Atsumu left his room quietly, he looked in the kitchen quickly and continued towards the door, a familiar orange caught his eye standing by his lamp in silence. _What’s he doin?_

Atsumu spoke quietly, “Shoyo? What’s that?”

He watched as Hinata jumped back a couple of feet and put his hands behind his back.

“A-Atsumu-san! I’m sorry I was uh just leaving but I got distracted, this magazine is uh so cool! Can I borrow it?”

Atsumu tried to act like he didn’t notice Hinata’s panic, “hmm which magazine? Can I see?”

Hinata hesitantly brought the magazine into view, Atsumu held his hand out for it. Reluctantly, Hinata handed it over. Atsumu looked at the Men’s Health magazine but he felt like there had been something else in Hinata’s hands when he saw him before. He looked at Hinata who was staring at the magazine with empty hands at his sides. Atsumu gave Hinata a smile, “of course ya can borrow it.” As he saw Hinata visibly relaxed he added, “I’ll give it to ya tomorrow when I see ya. I’m sure I’ll get through it tonight.”

Hinata pulled his lip into his teeth, “mm okay thank you Atsumu-san. Well uh I should leave now then. See you—see you tomorrow.”

Atsumu walked Hinata to the door, “thanks for droppin by Sho, see ya tomorrow.”

Hinata turned towards Atsumu as if he was going to say something but stopped himself and nodded before he left. Atsumu waited until he was out of sight to shut the door. Osamu appeared beside him instantly, “so much for tellin him anythin.”

Atsumu ignored his brother’s taunts, “he was actin weird. He really wanted this magazine for some reason.”

Osamu shrugged, “well, ya look better. I’m gonna go home, ya can take care of yerself right?”

Atsumu nodded, “yeah, thanks Samu. The place looks so clean, and thanks for feedin me. I guess ya don’t hate me as much as I thought ya did. Say hi to Suna for me.”

Osamu gave him one last smack before leaving.

Atsumu immediately when to his room and stared at the magazine. _What the hell was wrong with Shoyo? He was just staring at this? This guy isn’t even that hot, I’m ten times hotter than this guy. There’s gotta be more to it than that._

Atsumu read the table of contents expecting an article to stand out but none of them did. He began reading page by page but quickly realized there was no way thats what Hinata was doing, he always talked about how much he didn’t like reading back when he was in school.

_He had something else in his hand, I know he did._

Atsumu began flipping through the pages quickly until he reached the second to last page. There was a yellow envelope stuck into a fold holding a perfume sample. If he would have continued reading page by page it would have taken him much longer to find. He flipped the envelope over and saw it was addressed to him, the corner showed Hinata’s name. _Come to think of it, how the hell did he get my address? Weird._

Atsumu carefully opened the envelope and was greeted with a page of almost illegibly rushed handwriting. He focused his eyes and slowly deciphered his way through the scribbles, crossed out, and misspelled words.

_Dear Atsumu,_

_I honestly can’t believe I’m righting this right now. You just dropped me off a little while ago and I_ _~~already miss your smell~~ _ _wanted to say thank you for that. The truth is I didn’t expect for any of this to happen. Okay yes, yu caught me. I am_ _~~drink~~ _ _drunk, but what I feel didn’t change. If anything I can be more honest about it now because I’m not as scared. I was so embarrassed when I called you Tsumu the other day, but it also made my heart flutter. Why are you so nice to me? You confusion me though cause you’re nice but then you say you’re kidding or make a joke. So witch is it? Huh?? Just tell me the truth. Unless it’s mean then just let me down easy. Okay look I’m just gonna say it, we are all thinking it, even you are probably: you are so HOT. How DARE you? You show up to practice in your sunglasses, you lift up your shirt to wipe your face and you act like it’s no big deal. Annoying! And why do you smell so good? When you drove me home I almost died trying not to look so affected by it. That’s not allowed. Oh! You know what else isn’t allowed?? You can’t celebrate during matches anymore, you always stick your tongue out and smile and Atsumu it takes everything I have for me not to slurp your tongue up into my own mouth. And one of these days, I won’t be able to control myself any longer. The thing is, would you bee okay with that? I feel like maybe it’s just me? Why do you think I always ask you to help me stretch? Every time we practice late together I wish for the clock to slow down. I love the time we spend together, And you know what? What I love the most? Those droopy eyes of yours and your smile, but not the fake smile you give when you tell people what to do. The real smile you give me when I surprise you or when I praise you a lot for something you’ve worked hard on. I see you Atsumu._

_Im not gonna lie, I kinda lost my train of thought. I don’t remember where i was going with that butt, You really are a great person, you’ve made me feel so welcome here. I honestly can’t believe how lucky I got to have you_ _~~in my life~~ _ _as my setter. Not only are you talented but you’re hot too? Lucky me._

_Love,_

_Shoyo_

Atsumu could feel the heat collecting in his face. He was instantly thankful that Osamu left so that he could panic in peace. _Shoyo thinks I’m hot. SHOYO. THINKS. IM. HOT._ Atsumu laid back and closed his eyes, he began to remember things he had brushed off before. He had noticed Hinata blushing whenever they would make eye contact in the showers or on the court after Atsumu celebrated a perfect set. He would notice Hinata’s eyes on him while he wiped his face or stretched at the end of practice. _It was all right in front of me. He’s been pickin up what I didn’t even know I was puttin down. Hinata thinks I’m hot._ Atsumu reread the letter and licked his lips as he pictured Hinata fulfilling his threats of losing control. He laughed to himself remembering a time Bokuto had gladly offered to help Hinata stretch and the latter had looked at him in disappointment. _How could I have missed all of this? So this is what Hinata was hidin? Wait. Would he have taken it if I wouldn’t have caught him? But more importantly, what the fuck do I do with all this information? Should I taunt him? Should I act like I haven’t read it yet? Should I tell him I’m ready for him? Ugh, the possibilities are endless..._

...

Atsumu waited for Hinata under the tree where he would leave his bike. When his eyes saw the familiar face he couldn’t help but smile, “G’morning Shoyo, guess what?”

Hinata turned pink in an instant, “Good morning Atsumu-san. What?”

Atsumu’s smile grew, “I brought ya the magazine ya wanted to read so bad.”

Hinata’s ears looked painfully red, “mmm thank you so much.”

Atsumu chuckled, “by the way, I'm takin ya home today.”

Hinata audibly gasped, “Atsum—“

Atsumu stepped closer to Hinata meeting his eyes, only a breath away, “And I don’t wanna hear any complaints, I wasn’t askin.”

Hinata gulped and stared at the man.

Atsumu winked, “We gotta talk about some of the readin I did last night.”

As is for dramatic effect, Atsumu turned to walk inside, leaving a nervous mess to collect himself under the tree.

Atsumu slapped his own face trying to get it together in the locker room. _That was pretty smooth if I do say so myself. He was so red, so cute. Maybe I should have been more straightforward? But I gotta let him squirm a little—_

Atsumu’s thoughts were interrupted by a light tap of his shoulder, he was surprised to see Sakusa standing there staring instead of the man he left outside.

“Omi-kun.” Atsumu greeted playfully.

Sakusa stepped towards him quickly and grabbed a handful of shirt effectively catching him off guard, “how are you feeling?”

The question Sakusa chose to ask with the aggressive action surprised him even more, “um I feel better, normal. Thanks for askin? Ya mind not chokin me until after practice tho?”

Sakusa let go immediately. Although barely visible, a light dust of pink peaked through the edge of his mask, “You’re and idiot. You better not do that shit again either. Your decisions in and out of regular practice affect the whole team. You know that. Everything was thrown out of balance with you gone.”

Atsumu smiled slyly, “so yer sayin ya missed me, right Omi-kun?”

Sakusa rolled his eyes, “shut up.”

As he watched the taller man turn to walk away Atsumu’s smile grew deeper, “ya don’t have to worry about me Omi-kun, yer favorite teammate is right here. I’m not goin anywhere.”

_What is going on today?_

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the late upload. Bare with me, the next chapters should be more eventful. I got a bit stuck on this one so transitions were rough but just give me some time. Hope you guys are still liking what you're reading :)
> 
> Twitter:
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	6. I Guess I Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata covered his face with his hands and rushed to explain, “I was drunk when I wrote the letter, it was the day you took me home and I was drinking with friends and I thought it would be a good idea but I don’t remember what I wrote. That’s what’s even more humiliating because I don’t actually know what I said.”  
> Atsumu stayed silent as he absorbed what was said, “ya mean ya really have no idea what ya wrote?”  
> Hinata shook his head.  
> Atsumu sighed, he couldn’t play the game he was enjoying if Hinata didn’t even know what he was referring to.  
> Hinata finally looked him in the eyes, “what did I say?”  
> Atsumu smiled through the disappointment, “ya really wanna know?”  
> Hinata nodded as he bit his lip.  
> Atsumu stared, “what do I get out of it?”  
> Hinata’s head was going to explode, he just wanted to know, “w-what do you want?”
> 
> Or: BokAka are having a party. Hinata asks Atsumu what's in the letter. A weekend with Kageyama is about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to hear multiple character's chaotic thoughts.  
> This chapter is 3.2k+ words long

Hinata was left frozen under the tree, staring at Atsumu as he walked away. As soon as Atsumu was in the building Hinata ripped open the magazine in his hand. He turned to the perfume advertisement where he had attempted to hide his letter. Although he knew he wouldn’t find it there, his heart still sank when the tiny grain of hope he had disappeared. What he found instead was a bright yellow sticky note that read “see u after practice.”

Hinata’s head hung in defeat. _Fuck. I know Atsumu-san likes to mess with people but it’s usually not me. He really couldn’t just tell me what he has to say **now**?? He has to keep me waiting and I’m supposed to practice with him right now like I’m not completely terrified of what’s coming. Ugh, why did I have to send that letter??_

_..._

After a very stressful practice filled with knowing winks from Atsumu and nervous spikes from Hinata, the two found themselves walking towards the exit.

“Sho!! ‘Tsum-Tsum!! Wait!”

The two turned towards the booming voice. Bokuto jogged towards them and started rambling full of excitement, “Hey guys! Real quick, I want to invite y’all to our new house this Sunday. Akaashi and me are having a house warming party, it’s gonna be fuuuuun. You gotta come! Please! We are gonna have drinks and onigiri, bring whoever you want. I swear it— Omi!! Come too! It’ll be so fun! You need to get to know us outside of practice!! Please Omi, come on!”

Sakusa who had been trying to walk past them discreetly stopped and knit his eyebrows together as he took in the excited words being thrown at him.

Atsumu let out a chuckle, “don’t waste yer breath Bokkun, there’s no way Omi-Omi here would want to go.” He flashed Sakusa a smug smile, “That doesn’t sound like his kind of scene. But Shoyo and me will make an appearance, for sure.”

Hinata ignores the wink Atsumu gave him, “that sounds like fun Bokuto-san, I’ll be there—“

“Bokuto, how many bathrooms does your house have? How many people will be there? What’s the attire? What time am I expected to arrive?” Sakusa interrupts.

Bokuto is thoughtful in his answers, “2 and a half, ummm probably like 10 but no more than 15 and that’s including anyone Akaamshi might have invited, like worst case scenario, but not likely because it’s a Sunday and not everyone likes going out Sundays. Plus, we don’t talk to that many people anyway. A tire? Oh! Attire, you can wear whatever you want, it’s casual, anything you can have a good time in. Oh, and you can stop by any time after 6, we will have dinner at 6:30.”

Sakusa stood silently for a minute before sighing, “I’ll be there.”

Atsumu and Hinata’s mouths popped open in surprise while Bokuto’s eyes glistened, “OMIOMIOMIOMI I cant believe it! This is gonna be awesome, I have to tell Aaakaashi!”

...

Hinata had followed Atsumu quietly to his car, the only sound came from the spinning wheels of the bike he rolled beside him. The parking lot was nearly empty and Atsumu had parked in the furthest space possible to make sure no one could dent or scratch his shiny black car. Once the bike was mounted they sat together in thick silence.

Hinata could hear his heart pounding, the anticipation had grown too much for him. “Atsumu-san can you please just say what you have to say? I can’t stand not knowing what you’re thinking and I’ve been waiting all day.”

Atsumu turned his body towards the passenger seat giving him an amused smile, “Shoyo relax, let’s just talk about it. What do ya want to know? As long as ya ask, I’ll answer. Anythin.”

Hinata looked at his eyes and although he knew he would regret it he decided he had nothing left to lose. _Fuck it_. “Did you read the letter?”

Atsumu nodded.

“What do you think?”

Atsumu pursed his lips, “I thought it was... honest.”

Hinata needed details, “w-what part?”

“All of it”

Hinata inhaled sharply, _what did I say,_ “Can I have it back?”

Atsumu raised an eyebrow and mocked, “where’s the fun in that?”

Hinata shut his eyes tight, struggling to find words as he sat in a box filled with Atsumu’s smell. He knew the conversation was going no where, he might as well be honest’ “Okay look, the truth is... I-I don’t actually know what the letter says.”

“What?” Questioned Atsumu.

Hinata covered his face with his hands and rushed to explain, “I was drunk when I wrote the letter, it was the day you took me home and I was drinking with friends and I thought it would be a good idea but I don’t remember what I wrote. That’s why it’s even more humiliating, because I don’t actually know what I said.”

Atsumu stayed silent as he absorbed what was said, “ya mean ya really have no idea what ya wrote?”

Hinata shook his head.

Atsumu sighed, he couldn’t play the game he was enjoying if Hinata didn’t even know what he was referring to.

Hinata finally looked him in the eyes, “what did I say?”

Atsumu smiled through the disappointment, “ya really wanna know?”

Hinata nodded as he bit his lip.

Atsumu stared, “what do I get out of it?”

Hinata’s head was going to explode, he just wanted to know, “w-what do you want?”

Atsumu weighed his options quietly: _holy shit what should I as for? A kiss? He keeps biting his lip and it makes me hungry. Should I think bigger? Ugh but I could get a kiss now. Is that creepy of me? I probably shouldn’t force him to kiss me. Dammit, think Atsumu._

Hinata repeated to question making Atsumu snap back to reality. He spread a smile across his lips having come to the realization, “All I want from you Shoyo, is a date.”

Hinata sat frozen with panic: _a date. A date?? A date. Is that allowed? Actually... is that it? I have to stop watching so much porn I thought he was going to ask me to blow him. Okay note to self, no more porn. I really need to get laid, why was I secretly hoping it was something else? You know what? I’m done being scared and I’m done playing his game. It’s my turn._

Hinata summoned courage he usually reserved for games and spoke more clearly than before, “a date? That’s it?”

Atsumu hid his confusion with a sly tone, “what can I say, I’m an incredibly simple, wholesome, and of course humble man who just wants a date.”

Hinata giggled at the self proclaimed humility, “mhm, especially humble.”

Atsumu smiled with real satisfaction when he heard Hinata laugh, “I’m serious Shoyo, let’s go on a date, that’s all I’m askin for.” He winks as he continues, “... and I mean who knows what could happen on the date, ya know? Maybe I get more than I could have asked for.”

Hinata’s stomach fluttered from the look he saw in Atsumu’s eyes. He could feel himself losing his composure in the small space, “okay, let’s do it.”

Atsumu licked his lips, “it?”

Hinata felt heat in his cheeks, “the date, let’s do a date.”

Atsumu chuckled, “mmm what about this weekend?”

Hinata spoke before thinking, “mmm I think that should be fi— no wait! I’m supposed to see— I uh am supposed to go out of town this weekend! And we have Bokuto-san’s party!” Hinata tried his best to recover from the words he had vomited.

Atsumu eyes him suspiciously but chose not to interrogate the nervous wreck in front of him, “mmm you know what I also have plans this weekend, a dinner I almost forgot about, _again_.”

Hinata waited for Atsumu to explain, “dinner?”

Atsumu had him right where he wanted, _so he does care_ , “mmhm dinner but that’s nothin ya havta worry yer pretty little head about. How bout next weekend then?”

Hinata chewed on his lip to hold back his curiosity, “that works.”

Atsumu gave him a smile worthy of a magazine cover, “it’s a date then.”

Hinata cleared his throat in an effort to collect himself, “so what was in the letter?”

Atsumu licked his lips, “ well...” he leaned towards Hinata slowly and began to reach his left hand towards Hinata’s face. Hinata could feel his breath stop as heat envelopes his entire body from the proximity. He was about to close his eyes expectantly when Atsumu winked and reached around him to pull the seatbelt from the holder and then around Hinata’s body. Hinata stared at Atsumu in disbelief, “you’re an asshole.”

Both Hinata and Atsumu began to laugh, one embarrassed and the other proud of himself.

Atsumu began to drive Hinata home when Hinata decided to try again, this time using all his charm. “Atsumu? What was in the letter?”

Atsumu glanced over feeling like he misheard, “what?”

Hinata let out a sigh, “Tsumu, can you please tell me?”

Atsumu’s cheeks were now dusted pink, “oh... that’s cheatin.”

Hinata smiled to himself, “Tsumu, you said you’d tell me.”

Atsumu gripped the steering wheel, collected himself and gave Hinata an evil smile. “Just wait till we’re in front or yer house, I wanna see yer face when I tell ya.”

...

Once parked by his house Hinata looked at Atsumu expectantly. The blonde took his sweet time, “well Shoyo, all I have to say is that yer letter was a work of art, ya really captured my essence.”

Hinata pouted his lips, “but what did it say?”

“Ya sure ya wanna know?”

Hinata nodded.

Atsumu pursed his lips thoughtfully and gave the smile of a winner, “ya said I was hot, the hottest guy you’ve ever seen, ya said ya have the hots for me and I don’t blame ya. Ya said quite a bit about my tongue, losing control...and the way I smell too. Ya also love ma eyes and of course my smile. Hmmm... am I missing anything?”

Hinata stared at the blonde as a wave of memory slapped him across the face. He remembers exactly what he wrote. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I said I would slurp up his tongue?? How many times did I have to say hot?? I mean he is but that’s so embarrassing. I can’t even feel my ears anymore. I have to go back to Braz_ —

“Sho? Ya okay?” Atsumu waved a hand in front of his red face.

Hinata threw his face in his hands in a panic, “I’m so sorry Atsumu-san!! That was— that was so inappropriate of me! I’m sorry I was very drunk I shouldn’t have talked about you like that. It won’t happen again I pro—“

He stopped when he felt a hand rubbing the back of his hair, “s’nothin to be sorry about, I’m glad I know.”

Hinata looked up slowly, “but—“

Atsumu’s intense gaze stops him from continuing, “I liked it.”

A bright red Hinata sucks in air his lungs desperately need and Atsumu gives him one last wink before getting out of the car to begin dismounting the shorter man’s bike.

...

It was finally Friday and Hinata felt like the week had been painfully long. He had done his best to act natural during practice but anytime he would meet Atsumu’s eyes he found himself filled with embarrassment. Atsumu had a great time, he felt like he was finally back in top shape after being sick and torturing Hinata had been more fun than he would have thought.

Hinata was relieved when practice was dismissed, he checked his phone to find a few missed messages from Kageyama:

_K: Hinata, you’re still coming today right?_

_K: you must be at practice_

_K: hey we were sent home early, a pipe broke. I’m headed over to get you, we can take the train back together._

_K: Im outside, by what I’m guessing is your bike._

_K: I see people leaving Boke, don’t stay late, we still have to get your stuff._

Hinata grabbed his gym bag quickly and left without showering, catching Atsumu’s eye. Hinata said a loud goodbye to all his teammates and jogged outside to find a tall dark haired setter leaning against his bike drinking some yogurt.

He couldn’t help the warmth from the butterflies that began to quake inside of him or the goofy grin that spread across his lips, “Kageyama!”

Kageyama looked up from his hands and met his gaze with a shy smile, “hi Hinata-Boke. Took you long enough.”

Hinata laughed, “I thought I was meeting you in Tokyo!”

Kageyama shrugged, “I thought we could ride up together, to have m-more time.”

Hinata’s heart swelled, “well, let’s go then.”

Kageyama figured they would take a cab to Hinata’s house but Hinata absolutely refused. After a very familiar argument, Kageyama gave in once Hinata threatened to leave without him. This resulted in an embarrassed Kageyama sitting on Hinata’s bike seat holding onto Hinata’s shoulders while Hinata stood on the pedals pushing the bike forward. As Hinata pedaled, he remembered the first time he had forced Kageyama onto his bike back in high school after a long practice. They were much bigger now and heavier, Hinata was suddenly thankful for not having tired himself too much during practice because pushing more than twice his weight all the way home was a real work out. He tried to focus on his breathing instead of the large hands gripping his shoulders and the eyes he felt behind him. _Why is he so quiet? Bakageyama say something. Maybe I should have let him get us a cab. I hope I don’t stink, I skipped showering._

Kageyama’s face felt hot with embarrassment the same way it did the first time they did this years ago. Only this time it was still light out and everyone stared at them as they passed by. Kageyama tried to take in the scenery but his eyes kept shifting back to Hinata. _Dammit. All these people are staring. I should be the one pedaling, then I wouldn’t be able to see anything but the road. Fuck. He looks bigger than he did the other day. Is he purposely putting his ass in my face? No of course he isn’t. Do I want him t— stop. Look at the trees, wow so many trees. This guys' shoulders are— stop, look at how many cars pass us by... how am I supposed to spend the weekend with him? I’m fucked._

...

### Meanwhile: Back at the MSBY Gym

Atsumu had rushed through his shower, disappointed that Hinata hadn’t stayed for him to annoy. As he started for the door he caught sight of his second favorite target, “Omi-Omi! Where ya goin?”

Sakusa looked at him in distaste, “Home, obviously.”

Atsumu hadn’t harassed Sakusa all day, “Yer not gonna invite me?”

Sakusa stared at him blankly, “what do you want Miya?”

“Ya really gonna go to Bokkun’s party?”

“What’s it to you?” Sakusa snapped.

Atsumu feigned innocence, “I’m just surprised Omi-omi, yer usually not up for outings with the team. Ya know it’s not a cleaning party right?”

Sakusa rolled his eyes, “shut up, Miya”

Atsumu pursed his lips, “Omi-kun I’m only worried, do ya even know what goes on at parties?”

Sakusa held in the urge to stab the blonde, “enlighten me.”

“Well there’s drinkin, eatin, talkin, kissssssin... all the good stuff.” Atsumu mocked.

“Well there you have it” Sakusa said in an effort to end the conversation as he began walking towards the door.

Atsumu ignored the hint and walked behind him, “I can’t wait to see yer party animal side Omi-kun. Hey! Did ya happen to see Shoyo leave earlier?”

Sakusa considered not responding but for some reason unknown to him the question bothered him more than he expected it to. He weighed his options and decided he wasn’t a liar or above bringing Atsumu down a peg, “yes, he left right after practice with Tobio Kageyama.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened, “KAGEYAMA??”

Satisfied with himself, Sakusa left a confused Atsumu alone to overthink.

Atsumu had to see it to believe it, he raced to his car and headed towards Hinata’s house. There was more traffic than he thought there would be. _Okay I’m just going to take a quick look. What do I say if he sees me? Oh hey I was just driving away from my house accidentally? Hey I heard Tobio-kun was in town. Ugh I’m an idiot I should turn around, I look like a stalker. I wonder what Shoyo did with his bike—_

Atsumu’s eyes widened when he saw what was slowing down the end lane. Kageyama was awkwardly seated behind Hinata, his hands looked painfully tight on Hinata’s shoulders with his legs awkwardly twisted into the bicycle’s body to avoid them from bumping anything. His face was dusted pink contradicting the deep grimace on his face. Atsumu couldn’t keep his laugh in, _‘m almost embarrassed for him._

His eyes shifted to the man pedaling, he looked like a machine. Hinata’s face was determined the way he had only seen in games, softened only by his red ears and pink cheeks. _So cute. Dammit Kageyama what are ya doin here? Wait a min— Shoyo said he was goin outa town. THATS why he couldn’t go on a date with me—_

The car behind Atsumu broke his train of thought with a honk, he realized he had slowed significantly to take in the unimaginable sight before him. He collected himself and sped past the bike quickly to avoid being seen by Hinata. With a heavy heart, he turned back towards his house. _I guess I lied to ya Sho, I **can** be mad at you._

...

### Arrival at Hinata’s House

Hinata was out of breath but felt pride in not having to switch with Kageyama the whole way home. He massaged his shoulders once Kageyama let go noticing the bitter sweet pain from the loss of contact. As they approached the door they saw a black car drive up and park by the gate. Hinata opened the door to find a small carry-on suitcase with a sticky note on it reading “Shoyo” and an envelope stuck to the handle.

Hinata opened the envelope to find quick scribbles and two plane tickets. His eyes quickly took in the explanation:

_Shoyo,_

_Kuroo and me already packed your stuff for your trip, we know you’d just overthink your options if we didn’t. I couldn’t let you take the train or a cab all the way to Tokyo. After the stunt he pulled last week, I figured Kageyama would probably come down to ride up with you, so here are two plane tickets for the both of you to get to Tokyo as soon as possible. I don’t want to hear about it, these tickets were free so don’t even thank me, the airline loves my promotion. Just go, have fun. Take a break, finally. There’s a car outside waiting to take you both to the airport and a car in Tokyo that will take you to Kageyama’s. See you Sunday at Akaashi’s._

_-Ken_

Under that, in even sloppier handwriting:

_Have fun Shorty, you should smash. Who knows when you’ll get this chance again :p -Kuroo_

Hinata’s eyes were filled with emotion, he really had some amazing friends. He grabbed the suitcase and used his free hand to pull on Kageyama’s sleeve, “let’s go.”

...

<https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like the chapter, I know there was a lot of random stuff going on but its all to set up ground work for the next couple of chapters. I hope you liked the different thoughts from each character, I cant help myself: I want y'all to know what everyone is thinking because I find it hilarious. 
> 
> Next chapter will have a lot of Kagehina and Atsumu will finally have dinner with OsaSuna. Not gonna lie, depending on how long the next chapter is we may not see the party events until chapter 8 but I will try. You'll want to stay tuned for the party though... muahahaha 
> 
> Your kudos and comments mean the world to me. For questions or to yell about slow progress here is my twitter:
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	7. Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama opened his eyes and turned towards Hinata showing new determination, “Can we just be honest now? I don’t want to hold back anymore and I don’t want you to hold back. Let’s just lay it all out on the table. I know— I know we aren’t the best at t-talking, but how about we just take turns. Like ask a question, give an answer, and then the next person. Until there are no more questions.”
> 
> Hinata gulped at the request but nodded, “you go first.”
> 
> Kageyama looked at the ceiling trying to decide what to ask first, “why didn’t you give me the letters sooner? Why now? What changed?”
> 
> Or: Atsumu finally meets OsaSuna for dinner.  
> Hinata and Kageyama spend time together, they are trying to be more honest with each other. We see what the first of the letters to Kageyama says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Brief/slight nsfw but I didn’t get detailed so don’t worry.  
> This chapter is 3.3k words.

Atsumu sat at the restaurant’s table alone. As he waited for Osamu and Suna to arrive, he ran through his recent interactions with Hinata and the image of a blushing Hinata leaving practice with Kageyama’s hands on his shoulders.

“What’s with the face? Smell yer breath er somethin’?”

Atsumu looked up to see Osamu staring at him playfully, “shut up Samu, where’s yer borin boyfriend?” 

Osamu smiled, “he’s parkin the car. Be cool, so don’t be yerself. Let’s have a good dinner.” 

Atsumu rolled his eyes, “M’always nice.” 

... 

After an awkward greeting with Suna and eating their food mostly in silence Atsumu couldn’t keep his problems to himself any longer. 

He used the most composed voice he could muster, “so uhhhh m’sorry to interrupt this wildly stimulatin conversation we’re havin’ but I need yer opinions, y’all seem to be doin okay and I don’t know very many couples other than Bokkun and his boyfriend so I might as well use this opportunity usefully.” 

Suna and Osamu met eyes, Osamu shook his head, “as always, makin everythin' about you.” 

Atsumu quickly defended himself in a whiney voice, “I mean we ain’t talking about anythin' else! ‘Nd that was a compliment!! Please Samu! I’m really confused.” 

Osamu glared at him in annoyance, it was Suna who stopped the silent argument when he mumbled, “what’s the problem?” 

Atsumu’s mouth fell open in surprise having never expected Suna to give a single shit about what was happening in his life. His eyes followed Suna’s hand as it slowly reached Osamu’s shoulder and squeezed as if reassuring him. Osamu visibly relaxed to the touch of Suna’s hand now resting on his shoulder.  _ I’m gonna be sick, when did they get so... cute?— _

Atsumu came back to reality when Osamu asked, “well? We’re waitin.” 

The blonde took a deep breath and began throwing up words, “I don’t even know where to start but basically Shoyo wrote me a letter that says I’m hot and stuff and it was great, we've been spendin' lots of time together since he joined the team ‘nd I thought things were goin good, he even agreed to go on a date with me next week so I’m thinkin I have it in the bag right but today Little Tobio Kagefuckinyama shows up after practice and Hinata leaves with him and Hinata said he couldn’t go on a date this weekend because he was goin outa town. I’m not stupid right? He’s definitely goin with him right?” 

Suna stares at him almost bored, “Shoyo Hinata?” 

Atsumu nods. 

Osamu looks at his brother with eyes blazing, “Tsumu he’s definitely with Kageyama! Hinata seemed to like ya when he visited ya, wait did ya say he wrote a letter to ya? That’s bold as fuck.” 

Suna smiled at his boyfriend’s choice of words, “it is a bit uncommon nowadays.” 

Atsumu grabbed the back of his neck, “what do I do? Why would he do this?” 

Osamu was about to curse Hinata’s name in support of his twin when Suna’s indifferent voice interrupted him, “well, you’re not actually together right?” 

Atsumu mumbled, “well no, but he—“ 

“And he told you how he feels but you haven’t shared your feelings yet have you?” Suna continued, “so he’s free to date and do whoever he wants right?” 

Atsumu sat quietly, considering the words. 

Osamu cleared his throat, “well Tsumu... Suna’s right. Ya can’t really be mad at Hinata, he probably has no idea how ya feel, plus I’m sure yer not exclusively talking to him either. M’sure seein him with Tobio was annoyin but it’s technically yer own damn fault. If ya woulda been more clear the day he was in yer room then he probably wouldn’t be leavin town with someone else.” 

Atsumu sighed in defeat knowing they were right, “what should I do then?” 

Osamu looked over at Suna then back to his brother, “tell him how ya feel, clearly this time.” 

Atsumu’s voice was a whine, “but what about Kageyama?” 

Osamu rolled his eyes, “They ain’t married, plus Hinata likes ya that’s why he wrote that letter. Don’t be stupid and give up before ya even tell him yer side.”

Suna nodded, “yeah but also maybe you could try looking less... desperate.” 

Atsumu glared, “well damn Suna! Sorry I don’t look as bored as yer cool ass.” 

Suns rolled his eyes, “I just mean that you don’t have to be so available all the time, it’s not a good look for anyone.” 

Osamu tries to break the building tension between the two men he loves most, “I think what he’s trying to say is that ya shouldn’t let it get to ya. Yer single and ya should have fun, go on dates, get a life outside of practice. Don’t put all yer eggs in a basket with orange hair.” 

Atsumu hangs his head thoughtfully, letting the advice settle, “ugh, I know yer right, this ain’t like me. And for yer information I do have plans this weekend! Bokkun’s havin a party, should be a good time.”

... 

** Meanwhile **

After a few hours of traveling they were finally in Tokyo, Kageyama opened the door to his apartment for Hinata to enter. Kageyama excused himself for a minute, leaving Hinata seated in the clean living room. He took the opportunity to text Kenma: 

_ H: KENMAAAA!!! We made it to Tokyo! Thank you for everything :’D first class was the greatest, there were free drinks and I took the best nap of my life. Thank you again <3  _

_ K: Im glad you made it safe, you’re welcome. Have fun!  _

_ K: dont 4get to smash  _

_ K: sorry -.- that was Kuroo, keep us posted.  _

Hinata smiled to himself, he could hear their voices in his head when he read the messages and felt more relaxed. He let himself look around the living room at the very minimal decorations. 

In the other room, Kageyama was tidying up the guest room. Before returning to the living room he slapped his cheeks.  _Get it together. It’s not a big deal, relax. He’s gonna know if you’re tense. It’s just like old times, you used to hang out with him alone all the time_. 

After talking himself up he joined Hinata, “erm you can come unpack your bag.” 

Hinata followed happily, “this is a nice place, it’s so clean.” 

Kageyama mumbled, “I’m always clean. But thanks. Are you hungry?” 

Hinata nodded holding in a giggle. 

Kageyama didn’t meet his eyes, “erm you can unpack and shower if you want and I’ll make some dinner, just come to the kitchen when you’re ready.” 

... 

After a quick but thorough shower Hinata felt his stomach rumble, he changed into a plain black shirt and black sweats before heading back towards the living room. The smell of food filled the kitchen and a smile spread across his face at the sight of Kageyama standing in front of the stove with his bangs clipped up to keep them out of his face.  _ Cute .  _

Hinata took a mental picture before announcing his return, “smells sooooo good, who knew you were actually good at cooking. Is there anything I can help with?” 

Kageyama felt his cheeks warm from the compliment, “get the drinks boke, I made pasta. There are drinks in the fridge, wine, beer, water, orange soda take anything you want.” 

Hinata hummed, “what do I get for you?” 

Kageyama thought for a second, “just get two of whatever you pick.” 

The shorter man thought carefully over what his next play should be.  _ Okay is this a test? What goes good with pasta? I think everyone in Ratatouille drank wine, that’s good enough for me. _ He grabbed the bottle of wine and began rummaging through the kitchen for glasses and a bottle opener. 

...

Hinata savored every bite and asked for seconds. The two men sat quietly on the living room floor eating pasta, drinking wine, and watching a volleyball game on the tv. The silence was comfortable even with neither one of them knowing what the other was thinking. Although they were both nervous, the familiarity they felt was almost relaxing. 

Once the game ended there was nowhere to hide. Now on their second bottle, Hinata refilled their glasses yet again just to have something else to focus on. 

Kageyama took a few big gulps and closed his eyes, “Hinata, I’m glad you came to visit.” 

Hinata tried to keep his mouth from popping open at the words, “mm thank you for inviting me.” 

Both of them soaked up the moment, they were much more relaxed from the wine heating their cheeks and the sound of their steady breathing. 

Kageyama opened his eyes and turned towards Hinata showing new determination, “Can we just be honest now? I don’t want to hold back anymore and I don’t want you to hold back either. Let’s just lay it all out on the table. I know— I know we aren’t the best at t-talking, but how about we just take turns. Like ask a question, give an answer, and then the next person. Until there are no more questions.” 

Hinata gulped at the request but nodded, “you go first.” 

Kageyama looked at the ceiling trying to decide what to ask first, “why didn’t you give me the letters sooner? Why now? What changed?” 

Hinata chewed the inside of his cheek deciding to be honest, “that’s 3 questions,” he loved correcting him even when he was about to bare his heart, “I didn’t give them to you because I was too shy. I knew you wouldn’t feel the same and then the second letter was after I was in Brazil and you had made it clear you didn’t want to talk and it was embarrassing. And if i'm being honest... I mean nothing changed technically, I was just drinking one night and things escalated and it sounded like a good idea I guess.” He looked at the setter whose forehead was now wrinkled in thought before asking, “why didn’t you ever reply to my messages?” 

Kageyama stared at the floor, “I uh... I guess at first I was pretty upset when you left. And then a lot of time passed so it felt rude to text you. You know what’s kind of funny though? I actually wanted to make it up to you, right? So when we were down there for the Olympics I actually walked to the place you were staying, Yachi told me about it. I waited outside a couple of hours but you didn’t come home. So I gave up and walked back towards the hotel and then I saw you... With him... I just kinda lost it I guess so I hid behind a guy selling sunglasses and waited for you guys to pass.” The setter let out a pained chuckle, “so you and Oikawa huh?” 

Hinata’s head started spinning, _ I KNEW I wasn’t crazy, I could have sworn I saw Kageyama that day but I thought it was a figment of my imagination. Oh my God he saw me holding hands with _ — “No Kageyama! It wasn’t like that, we were just friends. He actually kind of helped me get over us— uh I mean everything that happened and being away from home. But that’s it, he was just a good friend really.” Hinata pushes himself to continue, “Why didn’t you say anything... or ask me to stay when I told you I was going to Brazil?” 

Kageyama finally met his eyes, “I couldn’t do that... no matter how much I wanted to, you weren’t mine to ask. Plus, I couldn’t interfere in you reaching your goals. You were so excited to get stronger, I would have hindered that.” The dark haired man looked away and spoke more quietly, “can you forgive me for all the little confessions I missed?” 

Hinata felt his breath hitch when he recognized the words from one of his letters, “you actually read the letters.”

Kageyama chuckled sadly, “of course I did. I read them over and over again, I know them by heart now...” 

Kageyama slowly met Hinata’s glazed eyes again and took a deep breath before slowly reciting the first letter from memory to the man the words belonged to: 

_ “Kageyama,  _

_ I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to write it instead. I like you Kageyama. I’ve liked you for a long time, I don’t know if you feel the same but it feels that way sometimes. Like when you stutter a bit when we are alone, or how you say you think I’m a dumbass but you hang out with me all the time anyway, or the way you always say yes to giving me a set. I guess I just got used to having you around at first but then it was like gravity was pulling us together. Somehow you were always next to me on bus rides or when we would stay somewhere overnight , watching you sleep (but not in a creepy way) is my favorite, your face is finally relaxed, Grumpyama. I’ve tried so many times to get the courage to tell you in person but it always ends up with me blurting out something different or asking for another set, for another moment, where it’s just you and me, just a little longer. I guess that’s how I’ve confessed my feelings all this time, I’ve asked you to set for me like a hundred million times. And I meant every single one of those little confessions. But here’s a new, bigger and grander confession: I like you Kageyama, I like you more than you may ever know, because the more I write the less brave I become, but hopefully I can give this to you. Before I met you, I didn’t know the word serendipity, but I looked up a word that describes exactly how I feel. It means being at the right place at the right time, and that’s how it feels having our lives continue to intertwine, like there’s no where else I’m meant to be.  _

_ Love,  _

_Shoyo_ ” 

Kageyama took a deep breath and noticed the tears staining Hinata’s cheeks.He reaches to wipe them with his thumb without thinking and Hinata responds by pressing his face into his palm. Kageyama pushes himself closer and hesitantly wraps his arms around the smaller man. Hinata presses himself into Kageyama’s inviting chest and shifts onto his lap, Kageyama tightens his hold more confidently, now holding him close. They sit in silence, both waiting for the other to speak. Hinata lifts his face now touching the other’s neck with his nose and quietly asks, “do you think I’m dumb?” 

Kageyama let’s out a breathy chuckle, “no boke, I think  _I’m_ dumb.” 

Hinata giggles, “I mean...” 

Kageyama laughs and hugs him tighter, “you’re one to talk.” 

Hinata takes a second to engrave this moment in his mind.  _ I’m sitting with Kageyama. No I’m sitting ON Kageyama, ohmygod he smells so good, like soap and cologne and what is that? Maybe like wood? He smells a little bit like Miyagi some how, like home—  _

“ Why are you sniffing so much?” The setter interrupts. 

Hinata’s ears go red, “I was just um smelling you, sorry.” 

Kageyama’s eyes widen and his cheeks color, “do I smell okay?” 

Hinata smiles in awe of the awkward boy in front of him, “you smell delicious.” 

The setter’s ears are now painfully red, “mmm, ok good.” 

Hinata takes in his face,  _cute_ , and he becomes greedy, “Kageyama... did you ever think about me... in the way I thought about you?” 

Kageyama clears his throat to keep his voice from shaking, “I mean yeah— of course I did. I’m only human you know.” 

The smaller man couldn’t hide his smile, “why didn't you say anything?” 

Kageyama shook his head, “why didn’t _you_?” 

Hinata chuckled, “fair.” 

Kageyama slowly released one of his hands from where they were wrapped and trailed it up to Hinata’s chin, tipping it up slightly, “you know what else I always thought about?” 

Hinata met the setter's eyes that were now darker, “w-what?” 

Kageyama swiped the pad of his thumb over Hinata’s slightly parted lips, “what your lips would feel like,” he met Hinata’s eyes for permission, “on mine.” 

Hinata took in a quick breath parting his lips more and nodding slightly. Kageyama licked his lips at the sight and leaned in to connect. The kiss set them both on fire immediately, the contact controlled their bodies easily. Their lips molded together slowly at first memorizing the feel of the soft, swollen, and chapped skin. Hinata shifted his body and ended up straddling the setter who pulled his body closer. Their cheeks were flushed and their hands were busy, Hinata’s fingers found a home in silky soft black hair and Kageyama’s grazed up and down the now muscular back of the shorter man. Hinata’s tongue slipped greedily into the setters mouth tasting the wine they shared. Kageyama’s throat let out an embarrassing groan, he detached his lips and began kissing Hinata’s neck desperately, causing the spiker to whine. Hinata tilted his head back and gripped broad shoulders, enjoying the wet kisses training his skin. Everything was perfect until his brain caught up with him, “Kage-ahh... Kageyama what about— the- the  second letter?” 

The lips on his throat froze and Hinata met the barely blue eyes that were now blown black, “Should we talk about it? I mean... I’m okay if we don’t right now... this is nice, but you’re not mad or have questions? Sorry I—“ 

Kageyama’s eyes softened at the orange mess in front of him, “do you uh _want_ to talk about that right now? Or we could um... talk about it later? I mean I’m having a g-good time. But you can choose, whatever you’re comfortable with. Anything you want.” 

Hinata’s heart swells at the way the other spoke sincerely, he wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. “I want you to kiss me again.” 

So he did. 

... 

The weekend passed by them quickly. New memories of constant laughs, endless kisses, long embraces, and discovering new desire they had been fantasizing about for years. Their passionate encounters were clumsy at first, each asking if what they were doing was okay and making sure the other was comfortable but their bodies quickly knew what to do, what they were made to do. Kageyama’s hands were more rough than they appeared and Hinata was more tan than you’d think he would be after being back for so long. They couldn’t get enough of each other, not leaving the small apartment that had become their bubble of bliss. 

...

Come Sunday, a light knock interrupted their messy attempt at making pancakes. When Kageyama opened the door he saw no one in the hall but found an envelope taped to the doorknob, addressed to Hinata. Although Kageyama was nosier than he appeared, he handed the envelope to the owner as smoothly as he could manage. 

Hinata took the envelope and found another gift from his best friend: 

_ Hinata,  _

_ Here are the tickets for your return. Yes, there are two. You should bring Kageyama to Akaashi’s house warming thing. I’m not making you do it but you should at least invite him, you might be pleasantly surprised with the response. Anyway, the car will be outside waiting to take you from the airport in a couple of hours and another car will bring you home. Kuroo will drive us to Akaashi’s, I have assigned him all designated driver duties.  _

_ Safe travels,  _

_ Ken  _

_ P.s. you better invite him  _

“What’s it say?” Interrupted Kageyama with a pout. 

Hinata bit his lip, “do you— uh want to go to a housewarming party with me?” 

Kageyama nodded robotically, “Yes, I’ll go anywhere with you.” 

Hinata’s heart went  _badum badam_ and he felt _much more_ than pleasantly surprised at the simple yet striking words from his dark haired setter. 

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always: sorry for the chaotic writing with terrible transitions. It was a bit of a rushed chapter, I had a lot of work this week. The next chapter about the party should be the most entertaining in my opinion (if I can narrow down the endless directions I could take this fic in). Much more Atsumu in the next chapter, also some KuroKen & BokuAka crumbs
> 
> Find me on twitter @stayvgolden
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	8. Still Number Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu rejoined the group, he stared blankly at Hinata and Kageyama who appeared to be in their own world as they whispered to each other, exchanging smiles. Atsumu’s hands balled up at his sides as he began thinking about his next move, “Tobio-kun!! Let’s play!”  
> The younger setter looked up, “mm I don’t really know how.”  
> Atsumu now wore a wicked smile, “ya sure yer not just scared I’ll beat ya?”  
> Kageyama knit his brows together thoughtfully, “no, that’s not it. I just don’t know how to play, but I’m sure I’ll learn quickly.”  
> Hinata looked between the two setters as they took spots on opposite ends of the table. This is not a good idea, I should go to the bathroom or something.  
> Bokuto entered the room placing his arm over Akaashi’s shoulder, “Hey hey hey! You know it’s much more fun when you play in pairs! You need a partner!”  
> Both setters looked directly at Hinata expectantly when Bokuto’s words settled in the air. Hinata visibly gulped at the simultaneous silent invitations, there’s no way I can choose one without the other hating me, this is a trap.
> 
> Or: A chaotic party with lots of drinking. Atsumu and Kageyama get competitive. A few people get upset, things only get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter: 6.6k+ words

Hinata and Kageyama sat in the backseat of Kuroo’s car listening to Kenma and Kuroo debate who should have control of the music selection for the short car ride.

Hinata snuck a glance to his left and saw the setter biting at his bottom lip. _He’s nervous._ Hinata reached out his hand and let it rest on top of long fidgety fingers that finally found rest. The setter met his eyes and released his lip, now forming a small thankful smile. Hinata’s cheeks warmed at the impact this small gesture had on the setter and how natural it all felt for him.

They arrived minutes later and were welcomed in with individual hugs from a very excited Bokuto, “Hey! hey! Hey! Welcome in guys!! You’re just in time!! Kageyama! I’m so glad you came! Come on come on don’t be shy, bring it in.” Akaashi walked up to them and greeted them with a warm smile, he wore an apron and his sleeves were rolled up, “Please come in, thank you for coming. Bokuto-san let them go so they can come inside.”

Kageyama’s shoulders relaxed after the hug, he had been self conscious about showing up uninvited but found great comfort in the genuine smile the vibrant spiker gave him and the kind hello from Akaashi.

They gave Bokuto and Akaashi their house warming gifts and thanked them for having them before following towards the dining room where a different guest sat patiently.

When they entered they all greeted the tall figure. Sakusa stood up politely to greet the group all at once from his chosen spot at the table, the one furthest from the entrance with a clear view of everything going on.

Bokuto beamed at him, “Omi’s been just the best! He was early and helped us set everything up! Thank you sooooo much Omi-kun!”

Akaashi nodded, “yes thank you Sakusa-san I don’t know what I would have done without you, it ended up being a lot more work than I had prepared for. Everyone have a seat, the food's almost ready. Boku, with me, kitchen.”

Sakusa blushed slightly at the genuine thanks he received. People usually hated how early he arrived places but he always felt that if he wasn’t early then he was late. Plus, if he was early he could inspect the place before others arrived, choose his spot, identify all possible exits, and leave earlier than everyone else. He had been surprised at just how grateful the couple was to have another set of hands to help set up. As for him, the helping set up had made him feel much more comfortable and relaxed with the environment, he had seen just how clean the house was thanks to Akaashi’s care. But most of all, he appreciated how accommodating they were to answering all his list of slightly intrusive questions about their home and any surface they have broken in since they have lived there.

Sakusa now found himself watching the guests after glancing at his watch. _6:35, of course they are late._ He took note of their chosen seats. The long table had 8 table settings, 4 on each side. Hinata sat next to Sakusa, with Kenma beside him leaving one open seat on the other end. _It’s likely Akaashi will take that seat since there’s an open seat in front for Bokuto to sit in, that makes sense he seems to like the tall shady looking one sitting in front of the short one with long hair. Of course Kageyama would sit in front of Hinata, this is very predictable but at least I don’t have to stare at anyone while I eat dinner,_ he thought as he glanced at the empty seat in front of him.

Akaashi and Bokuto distributed food and drinks throughout the table effortlessly. As soon as they both sat down and everyone thanked them for the food the room was silenced by a single ring.

_Ding_

The sound of the doorbell sent an shiver up Sakusa’s spine, _oh no_. He watched the way too kind hosts got up to greet their remaining guest, showing no annoyance. Everyone waited politely before starting to eat. He glanced at his watch, _it’s almost 7 what kind of animal would be so inconsiderate??_ His eyes burned a hole at the entrance waiting to see who had the audacity to keep everyone waiting and blatantly ignore the assigned start time. _Of course_ , he immediately understood when his eyes met the piss blonde walking in with a goofy smile offering excuses.

“M’sorry m’late, I had to help Samu with some stuff n lost track of time.” Everyone greeted him and tried to excuse him except Sakusa who stared at him in distaste as he took the remaining seat in front of him.

Atsumu met the glaring eyes with a pleasant smile, “it’s good to see ya too Omi-Omi, geez I said m'sorry. I know ya missed me but ya could kill me with that look.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes, “I’m not so lucky.”

Atsumu laughed taking this as forgiveness and turned towards the person he least wanted to see, “Tobio-kun! Woulda never guessed ye'd be here, what brings ya here?”

Kageyama shifted a bit embarrassed, “Atsumu-san, it’s been a whi—“

“Okay enough waiting, everyone eat!! And please drink up we bought way too much alcohol and if you leave it Keiji and me will definitely drink it so please help.” Bokuto unknowingly interrupted, saving an embarrassed Kageyama yet again.

Atsumu took a drink of the beer Akaashi had placed in front of him without him noticing, “Shoyo-kun how was yer weekend? Do anythin excitin?”

Hinata’s cheeks went pink, he took a gulp of his own beer to buy time. _I can’t lie since Kageyama is right here, I shouldn’t lie anyway it’s not a big deal right? Why do I suddenly feel embarrassed about it? I don’t want Kageyama to think I didn’t have a nice time but it feels weird telling Atsumu._ He silenced his thoughts, “mm it was good, I spent some time in Tokyo with Kageyama.”

Sakusa ate quietly enjoying the show unfolding before him. He had hoped this half of the table, away from Bokuto and his shady best friend, would be the quiet side but he forgot to factor in Atsumu’s petty attitude. He watched the blonde setter smile without it reaching his eyes, “what’d y’all do in Tokyo?”

The dark haired setter’s face went red and he began shoving food in his mouth unable to answer. Sakusa could see Hinata’s leg shaking as he thought of a response, “just uh eat and play volleyball, catch up. We hadn’t seen each other in a while.”

Sakusa watched Atsumu deflate as he glanced from an embarrassed Kageyama to a nervous Hinata. For some reason he decided to throw them all a bone. “This really isn’t something I care about. Can we talk about something else? Kageyama, we have a game against the Adlers in a couple of weeks that I look forward to winning, How is Wakatoshi-kun doing?”

Thankful for the shift, Hinata and Kageyama happily engaged in the new conversation. Atsumu remained quiet for a bit as he imagined the endless possibilities Hinata’s trip to Tokyo could have entailed, _why is he here Shoyo_?

...

After dinner and a few rounds of drinks and conversation, the atmosphere had begun to relax. Sakusa watched everyone carefully: Akaashi had a way of knowing exactly when a guest needed a drink and always replaced it at the perfect moment in the most inconspicuous way. Bokuto was the ever inclusive host who helped everyone start conversations and find common interests or topics of conversation all while helping Akaashi before he even asked. Sakusa found the dynamic between the small long haired one and the tall shady one very interesting. _The shorter one is clearly in charge but the tall one loves it, he’s not as shady as I expected him to be and he clearly knows a lot about volleyball, I can’t believe he actually bantered with me about the upcoming game between the Adlers and MSBY, I guess he’s kind of funny. His friendship with Bokuto is a bit childish but kind of endearing._

Sakusa’s eyes shifted to the special drink Akaashi had gotten just for him, he started to let his guard down a bit as the alcohol began to take effect, _fruity_.

Bokuto started putting up the chairs from around the table making him get up, Akaashi appeared with red solo cups, beer, and a bottle of tequila. Sakusa’s eyebrows knit together, his college days had taught him exactly what they were setting up. _A game of beerpong, filthy hands touching ping-pong balls that fly into communal cups and contaminate drinks that individuals down and later refill. Disgusting._ He unconsciously backed into the wall holding only his drink and taking further inventory of the room. Kenma was sitting in Kuroo’s lap on the couch staring at the TV bickering about which character of _Smash_ they would beat each other with. Bokuto and Atsumu were seeing who could carry the most chairs at once, Bokuto winning easily but Atsumu not giving up. Kageyama and Hinata closer than before leaned against the wall, Hinata leaning into the tall setter who didn’t seem to be able to catch his breath as the shorter one took a stray eyelash off his cheek. Sakusa rolled his eyes at the undeniably cute gesture, _get a room_. Akaashi began setting up a triangle of 10 solo cups on opposite ends of the table. He filled 6 cups with beer and to Sakusa’s surprise, the remaining 4 were filled with a shot of tequila. Once both sides were set up, Akaashi smiled proudly at the symmetrical table and poured himself a shot he quickly took when he thought no one was looking. Sakusa stared in amusement at the kind host then glanced at the bottle of tequila placed on the table. _That’s trouble, how are these idiots going to see straight, Akaashi-San I have to say you’re full of surprises_.

Atsumu rejoined the group, he stared blankly at Hinata and Kageyama who appeared to be in their own world as they whispered to each other, exchanging smiles. Atsumu’s hands balled up at his sides as he began thinking about his next move, “Tobio-kun!! Let’s play!”

The younger setter looked up, “mm I don’t really know how.”

Atsumu now wore a wicked smile, “ya sure yer not just scared I’ll beat ya?”

Kageyama knit his brows together thoughtfully, “no, that’s not it. I just don’t know how to play, but I’m sure I’ll learn quickly.”

Hinata looked between the two setters as they took spots on opposite ends of the table. _This is not a good idea, I should go to the bathroom or something._

Bokuto entered the room placing his arm over Akaashi’s shoulder, “Hey hey hey! You know it’s much more fun when you play in pairs! You need a partner!”

Both setters looked directly at Hinata expectantly when Bokuto’s words settled in the air. Hinata visibly gulped at the simultaneous silent invitations, _there’s no way I can choose one without the other hating me, this is a trap. I need to get out of here some how,_ “uhh that’s okay you guys can play, I’ll just watch.”

Kenma was at his side the instant he saw Hinata cornered, “well how about you be on Kageyama’s team the first game and Miya’s the second game if you guys still want to play.”

Hinata perked up a bit at having Kenma decide for him, “okay, that’s a good idea.”

Atsumu gave Kenma a fake smile, “Yer a smart one ain't ya?”

Kenma shrugged. ignoring the clearly sarcastic remark and walked back to Kuroo’s waiting arms.

Atsumu ran his fingers through his hair in frustration but quickly recovered, “Omi-Omi! Come play with me!”

“No.”

Atsumu walked towards him, “C’mon Omi pleeeease, dontcha wanna beat Tobio and Shoyo-kun?”

Sakusa watched the blonde bat his lashes, “get away from me.”

Atsumu stepped closer and spoke in a softer voice only Sakusa could hear, “please Kiyoomi, I _really_ need ya. Just do me this favor, I’ll owe ya one. Please.”

Sakusa was dumbfounded by the silent plea in Atsumu’s eyes. He felt heat spread across his cheeks at the sincere request. A small part of him wanted to say yes, _but it’s such a filthy game—_

The racing thoughts were stopped by a calm voice, “Sakusa-san, I hope you’ll consider playing. You don’t have to drink from the cups, you can just sip your own drink or have a designated cup on the side for you. And we can have everyone wash their hands before the game and use hand sanitizer. Anything you need, just tell me what would make things easier.”

Sakusa stared at his new favorite person Akaashi and gave him a nod accepting the conditions. _How can I say no to that?_

Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto simultaneously cheered as if he had just landed a spike. He gave them a small smile in return, _idiots._

...

The game progressed differently than Atsumu expected. Of course, Kageyama was a natural, with a delicate flick of his wrist he was able to land almost all of the shots he took. _What kinda trainin' does this robot practice??_ This made Atsumu increasingly irritated, because each drink he was forced to down was accompanied by the sight of Hinata praising the setter in a way he thought was reserved for him. “Damn it!” He grumbled when he missed, the increasing alcohol in his blood making it even harder for him to aim. _Who’s idea was it to use so much tequila?? Probably that tall shady guy, he looks like he’s up to somethin._

Sakusa took the remaining ping-pong ball from Atsumu’s other hand swiftly and easy sank it in a cup on the opponents side forcing Hinata to take a drink. “Get it together, Miya. You’ll be trashed if you keep missing.”

Miya pouted as he stared across the table at the orange haired spiker struggling to finish his drink with a scrunched up face, “m’tryin Omi-kun, I just can’t seem to win lately.”

Sakusa looked at his pouting lips, finding his sad tone short of endearing, “just let me toss for a couple rounds.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened and a smile spread across his lips, “Omi-Omi are ya trying to cheer me up?”

Kiyoomi felt a pale blush cover his cheeks, “shut up Miya, I just hate losing.” _Wait, was I trying to comfort Miya??_

Hinata missed his toss, Sakusa responds with two back to back swishes into cups. Atsumu screams in celebration as if he was the one who made the shots. Both his opponents take a drink, when their team gets the balls back Atsumu demands a chance at the remaining cups, Sakusa hesitantly gives the balls to the blonde not wanting to hurt his pride further. _Wait what? Since when do I care about this idiot’s pride?_ Atsumu takes the shots and misses one by a long shot. The second ball bounces at an almost criminal angle and projects back into one of his own cups, “FUCK ME!! How the hell does that even happen??”

Sakusa sighs in annoyance and takes the cup, he shocks everyone when he proceeds to down the contents of the red solo cup. _Tequila, thanks Akaashi. I guess the alcohol level should help kill the germs_. He swallows the bitter contents swiftly and glares at the dumbfounded blonde, “No more tosses for you Miya.”

Atsumu’s eyes beg him to reconsider but Sakusa ignores him and looks at the other side of the table, _we only have 2 cups left and they have 4, there’s no way we can win, Kageyama is up next. Unless... I can land every shot with the redemption round. I have to make the two shots and earn balls back but I can’t miss a single cup and even then, it’s technically a tie. Fucking Miya, how’d you miss so much? Your_ ** _job_** _is literally tossing balls across a large court at high speed and you can’t even land one across this table._ Sakusa grumbled to himself as he watched his opponents focus on their attack. _  
_

Kageyama quickly sank the balls into the remaining cups, “yessss!” Hinata exclaimed and met him with a high ten, for a second they looked much younger. A blush crawled up their faces and they turned to face their opponents again. Atsumu mumbled curses into the cup he drank from. Sakusa quickly downed the last cup, not wanting to taste the alcohol and germs in the beer he drank. He took in a deep breath and straighted his shoulders making himself somehow taller. He easily sunk the first two cups earning the balls back, Atsumu cheered as the opponents drank the contents of one cup each. A small smile played on the spiker’s lips, _I just have to do the same thing_. He flexed his wrist and mimicked the earlier movement sinking the ball after a dangerous bounce between the cups.

Atsumu grabbed his shoulders and shook him, “OMI-OMI OMI-OMI!!! YA DID IT YA DID IT.” The blonde laughed in happiness and disbelief causing Sakusa to forget to hide his smile when he said, “let go, Miya.”

Atsumu let go immediately, “sorry Omi-kun.” Sakusa was slightly disappointed at the loss of contact even after he had been the one to request it. He flexed his wrist again but before he reset his position a sulking Atsumu interrupted, “Omi-kun?”

Sakusa turned to meet his eyes. “Ya think I could toss the last ball?” Sakusa stared at him blankly as he argues with himself internally, _fuck no. If you give him the ball you already know he’s going to miss, he’s drunk, he’s too competitive against these two, he’s off his game, he can’t see straight. You can clearly make the shot, we are so close, I can keep us from losing and force a deciding round, I know I can. Why is he making this so difficult? No. I can’t let him cost us the game, the odds of him actually making it at 1 to 1000 there’s no way he could even pull off a fluke. No, the answer is n—_

“Please Omi-kun? I just— I really need a win right now.. and it has to come from me. I can do this.” Atsumu stares at him with eyes droopier than usual.

Sakusa blinks at the sad tone from the blonde, he silently handed over the last ball. Atsumu thanked him with a wide smile then turned to face the remaining cup. He squared his shoulders and took a deep breath, his opponents watched in anticipation. Atsumu flicked his wrist and released the ball, the small ball flew well past the end of the table and onto the floor with a small chirp on impact and a mocking roll under an end table near the couch. “Fuuuuuck,” Atsumu laid his upper half on the table in defeat feeling the cool kiss it left on his cheek. Hinata and Kageyama jumped in celebration, Hinata smiled with all his teeth and Kageyama ruffled his orange hair. Atsumu stood up and turned to his teammate. He quickly mumbled, “m'Sorry Omiiii, I thought I had it.” He then turned to the winners and spoke with more confidence, “Must be beginners luck To-biyo-kun” he challenged with a sly smile.

The dark haired setter looked away from Hinata’s smile and met the blonde’s eyes, more confidently than he had been all night, “I don’t think that’s it, I bet I would still win no matter how many games we played.”

Atsumu’s eyes darkened and he purses his lips, “ya sure ya’d win without yer good luck charm? I bet I could win if Sho was cheerin' me on too.”

Kageyama glanced at Hinata before looking back at the blonde.

Hinata’s face went red, “no it wasn’t me, Kageyama’s the one that did all the work, he’s really good! But we can mix up teams this next round like we agreed earlier? If you guys still want to play.”

Kageyama looked at the orange wreck nervously trying to calm him down silently then back to Atsumu and nodded, “I’ll beat you no matter what team I’m on.”

An award winning smile spread on Atsumu’s face, “I’d love to see ya try.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes and walked to the side Kageyama was on. Hinata did the same, when he reached his new partner he gave him a small smile in response to the gleaming toothpaste commercial smile Atsumu gave him.

After setting up new cups Atsumu pointed a finger at Kageyama, “I’ll beat ya this time.”

Kageyama shook his head as he chuckled, “in your dreams.”

The game ended as quickly as it started, Kageyama and Sakusa annihilated their opponents, they didn’t miss a single shot earning balls back until all the 10 cups were gone. Hinata’s turn finally came and he was lucky enough to land it perfectly sticking his tounge out playfully at Kageyama who took the drink. When the now even more drunk blonde finally got a chance to toss their final chance at staying alive and getting balls back, his shot bounced off the rim of a cup and onto the floor, “damn it.”

Kageyama and Sakusa celebrated with a fist bump and a drink from their untouched cups. Hinata gave a livid Atsumu a pat on the shoulder, “it’s okay Atsumu, it’s just a game.”

Atsumu met the kind brown eyes, _if only it was just the game I was losing Sho_ , “mm yer right I guess, but I gotta keep tryin... Tobio-kun again!”

Sakusa excuses himself from the table and walked out of sight. Kuroo and Bokuto came up to the table smiling widely. Bokuto interrupted the staring contest between the blonde and dark haired setters, “hey hey hey! New teams! Who’s with me??”

Hinata took the opportunity to finally go to the bathroom for some time to think. Akaashi directed him down the hall, the door was locked so he stood in the hallway collecting his thoughts. _Must be where Kiyoomi-san went off to. This is getting out of hand, I don’t like the way those two look at each other, what can I do? I can’t take sides, it would just hurt the other. I don’t see this getting any better either, they just keep trying to fight with—_

“Shoyo-kun, are ya hidin' from me?” Atsumu interrupts.

Hinata jumps slightly in surprise at the approaching blonde, “Atsumu-san, you scared me. I’m just waiting for the bathroom.”

Atsumu stands right beside Hinata allowing no space to separate their arms from touching, they both lean against the wall facing the locked bathroom door, “what’s goin on Sho?”

Hinata bites the inside of his cheek, “w-what do you mean?”

Atsumu shifts his body swiftly to face the spiker, he places his arms on either side of the shorter mans shoulders trapping him in a cage of limbs. Atsumu’s posture bent so his face is a few centimeters from Hinata’s. Atsumu takes in the blushing sight before rephrasing his question in a too loud whisper, “what’s going on with you and Kageyama? What happened in Tokyo? Are you two together now?”

Hinata was a bright red, he could smell the alcohol in Atsumu’s words as they blew into his face, he glanced at the arms keeping him from running away and gulped in defeat. “I d-don’t know.”

Atsumu let out a mocking chuckle, “you don’t know?? What does that even mean?”

Hinata looked at his feet, he explained quietly, “we haven’t talked about it.”

Atsumu bit his lip holding onto the little control he had left, “what about m— what about the date you owe me?”

Hinata’s breath hitched, “Atsumu-san I don’t know if that’s a good id—“

“Please Hinata, just give me that. Just one date. Dont— don’t talk to Kageyama about whatever y’all are doing until after we have our date. Don’t look at me like that, it kills me. Look yer not doin anythin' wrong, yer single still. So just— just think of it as paying me back. If that’ll get ya there, then I don’t care. Okay, Shoyo?”

Hinata’s lips press together as he thinks of a response. _Well he isn’t wrong, I’m still single. I don’t know if Kageyama is seeing anyone else or what he thinks this is? I don’t even know what I think this is... I did agree to the date before anything happened with Kageyama. Atsumu must feel so hurt right now... fuck me, why does everything I do hurt someone I care about?_ Hinata meets droopy honey colored eyes and nods, “okay, Atsumu.”

Atsumu’s face brightens with surprise, he takes his hands and places them on Hinata’s face squishing his cheeks, “Ya mean it?”

Hinata tries to smile, “myeah.”

Atsumu stops squeezing but leaves his hands on either side of the warm face meeting his gaze. His instincts take over and he starts to pull the face towards his own wanting to feel the warmth on his lips. Hinata stares in shock trying to calculate what the fuck is happening when the bathroom door swings open, causing Atsumu to quickly release his hold and turn to see where the sound came from. “Omi-kun! Took ya long enough.” He feigns innocence.

Sakusa glares at the setter and bumps into his shoulder to get past him. He looks quickly between Hinata and Atsumu who both wear matching blushes and turns to walk down the hall before calling back over his shoulder, “don’t take too long, the others may start wondering where you two ran off to.”

Hinata’s ears are burning, he shoves past Atsumu and locks the bathroom door behind him. He leans against the door and breathes for the first time after what feels like hours. _What the fuck? Was I about to kiss Atsumu?? What’s wrong with me? Kageyama is in the other room. Thank God for Omi-san. Well... I can’t say I don’t feel a little disappointed. How did Atsumu do that?? He tore down all my control and I really almost let him kiss me. No, I_ ** _wanted_** _him to kiss me. Fuck. I’m fucked. I need to get out of here before I get even more confused or something worse happens... fuck, get it together Hinata._ He shook his head violently to get the thoughts out of his mind and remember why he was in the restroom in the first place. _  
_

_..._

Atsumu walked back into the main room to find Kageyama laughing as he set up cups, he looks over to see it’s because Kenma and Akaashi are making fun of their boyfriends as they argue about the black haired one still being able to block one of Bokuto’s spikes like when they were in high school. Atsumu is still overwhelmed with emotion from his encounter with Hinata and decides to sit with Sakusa who is on the couch with his eyes closed. Sakusa has started to feel the alcohol and wanted to ride the wave of relaxation that spread over his body.

“Omi-kun! What’re ya doin by yerself?” His voice is playful.

Sakusa grimaces with his eyes still closed at the realization of how close the setter chose to sit next to him on the couch, “just needed a minute, Miya.”

Atsumu spotted the controllers on the side table and grabbed two, “play with me Omi.”

Sakusa opened his eyes irritated by Atsumu’s choice to ignore his need for space, “no, get away from me.”

Atsumu pouted ridiculously and whispered too close to Sakusa’s ear, “Omi-Omi pleaaaase. Yer the only person here I can hang out with, everyone else is too busy kissin Tobio-kun’s ass.”

Sakusa’s alcohol level made it impossible for him to hold in the genuine laugh he lets out, “so you’re jealous? Aren’t you used to sharing attention? What with you having a twin and all.”

Atsumu stared at Sakusa in shock at the melodic laugh he rewarded him with, a smile spread across his face. He set the controller on the man’s lap before answering with a shrug, “‘course m’jealous. That’s WHY m’jealous, I always had to fight Samu for my ma’s attention and same with volleyball, I have to be the best, the winner. Jealousy’s just in m’blood I guess.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes in amusement, “you’re ridiculous”

Atsumu smiled, “Yer one to talk, yer almost as competitive as me.”

Sakusa’s lips curled into a guilty smile, “shut up, Miya.”

Sakusa reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small package of disinfectant wet wipes, he takes one and wipes down the controller before picking it up in resignation. Atsumu keeps his smug smile to himself, “m’not gonna go easy on ya Omi, just so ya know Samu n’me play all the time so m’pretty good.”

Sakusa scoffed as he scrolled through the characters, inspecting their design. Atsumu settled on a character resembling a fox, as he watched Sakusa continue his search he mumbled, “I’ll finally win at somethin’ tonight.”

Sakusa didn’t take his eyes off the screen, “for the record, you could have won if you would have stayed on my team. Or if you would have just let me take the last shot we could have tied and I would have won the tie breaker for us.”

Atsumu chewed on his lip to keep himself from admitting that he was right. He continued to watch the screen shift from character to character as he thought of the events from the past few days. _Omi’s right, he could have won us that game. I just hate losin' to Tobio-kun. He gets to play with Hinata while I’m just sposed to watch, Hinata goes out of town to see him, they do God KNOWS what!! While I just talkin' 'bout him at dinner. I’m fucked. Maybe Suna’s right, I_ ** _am_** _too available. I’m just here waitin' for Sho to realize I’m way better than Kageyama. How can I make him realize it sooner? That m’not gonna wait around forever while he gets his fill of Kageyama. “Don’t be so available.” Okay. “you could have won if you would have stayed on my team.” Oh my Omi-kun..._ Atsumu turns to Sakusa, “Omi-kun!! Yer right, I shoulda stayed with you. That’s how I can get to Shoyo, you’re the only option. Please Omi-kun.”

A confused Sakusa finally meets his eyes, “what the hell are you talking about?”

Atsumu looks into the dark pools of ink that stare at him, “Omi-kun.. will ya go on a date with me?”

Sakusa suddenly feels warm, this was the last thing he expected to come out of the blonde’s mouth, he shook his head in disbelief, “what? No, what's wrong with you?? Where is this coming from? I literally just saw you trying to kiss Hinata.”

Atsumu leaned in closer, “Omi please, it’s the only way Shoyo’ll finally see me. Ya could help me make him jealous.”

Sakusa scoffs in disbelief, “do you hear yourself?”

Atsumu sighs, “I know. I know how crazy I sound. But what else can I do? Look at them, they have too much history and I can’t compete with that. I’ve been too available, just waiting around for Shoyo to be ready. I’m sure if he sees me with someone else he’ll be ready sooner, if he thinks m’slippin away.”

Sakusa glanced at the pair giggling in the corner at something on Hinata’s phone, then back at the blonde’s desperate eyes. “No.”

Atsumu let out a soft whine, “Omi please!”

The whine made Sakusa’s spine shiver but he kept his composure with a demanding tone, “no, you’re not going to use me to seduce someone else. I’m a person too you know? Why does it have to be me? Find someone else.”

Atsumu’s eyes soften in realization, “I’m sorry Omi, I guess that was pretty inconsiderate of me to come at ya that way. Ya deserve better than bein' used that way... I _know_ yer a person, that’s why I thought it should be you. Look at ya, yer immaculate, anyone would be lucky to get to date ya. That’s why I asked I guess, because everyone would notice me if someone like ya gave someone like me a chance.”

Sakusa’s blush now spread to his ears, “well thanks I guess... but do you really think something like that would work?”

Atsumu sighed, “I honestly don’t know, but I feel like it’s all I have left to try.”

Sakusa closed his eyes, _why me? Why me? Why me?_ ** _Yer immaculate_** _, why me? Why me?_ ** _Lucky to date ya_** _. Why me? why me? I should say no. 100% this will not end well, there is absolutely no good reason to accept. This is a terrible idea, this is not a romantic comedy, real people with actually get hurt. People like me. Why me?_

He turns to Atsumu and manages to keep his voice from breaking, “okay.”

Atsumu’s eyes widen, “does that mean—“

“Yes, I’ll go on a date with you, Atsumu.”

Atsumu’s mouth falls open in shock, happiness quickly taking over. He jumps up and grabs Sakusa’s face and plants a loud and quick kiss on his forehead before releasing his face and laughing. “Yer the best Omi-Omi!”

The room fell silent as everyone’s eyes looked towards were the red faced man with the black curly hair sat in disbelief. Atsumu took a seat again not paying attention and started the game. Sakusa could feel eyes on him from across the room, he didn’t move. After Atsumu started the game almost everyone looked away, Sakusa looked towards the remaining stare to find Hinata’s wide eyes looking from him to Atsumu. Hinata gave Sakusa a small questioning smile, the latter gave the tinniest shrug and focused back on the TV.

...

In an effort to bring everyone back together Bokuto brought out some large Jenga blocks and set them up at the center of the table. “Okay I need everyone around the table, Tsumtsum and OmiOmi too! This is drunk Jenga, or Drenga, drjenka? Whatever. basically, you pull out a block without knocking down the tower. But the blocks have words on them, stuff like take a shot, truth, dare, never have I ever, free questions, all the good stuff. If you skip your turn or choose not to answer or not do the dare, you take a shot. If you knock down the tower you lose and take two shots! Let’s play!”

Bokuto takes the first block out easily, Dare: _Kiss someone (with tongue and with permission)._ Bokuto smiles, “I was hoping I’d get this one, Keiji baby, can I kiss you?” Akaashi blushes and nods, Bokuto pulls him into his arms and kisses him more intensely than the block had instructed as everyone avoided looking at the happy hosts. Kuroo made a throw up sound, “okay Bo, I’ll go next while you uh finish up.” His block read: _take a shot_. Kuroo looked to Kenma for permission since he was DD and the latter nodded after checking the time. Kuroo happily gulped down the tequila. Kenma skipped his turn not wanting to get off his phone but took a shot Kuroo delivered to him. Akaashi’s did the same, he just loved tequila. Kageyama pulled a block _, Truth: Fuck, Marry, Kill (between the next three people to your left)._ He blushed violently as his eyes looked at Hinata, Sakusa, and Atsumu. He thought about taking the shot instead but he had already drank more than he was used to, “I really don’t think this is—“

Atsumu challenged the shy setter, “just answer, we’re all adults here.”

Bokuto chimed in, “you can always take a shoooooot. But remember you can only choose one name for each like I can’t say marry Akaashi and fuck Akaashi and kill Kuroo, Even if I want to.”

Akashi blushed. Kuroo eyed him, “wow, thanks asshole. For the record I wouldn’t kill _you_.”

Kageyama covered his face and mumbled, “erm marry Hinata, fuck Sakusa-san, kill Atsumu-san.”

When he took his hand down he saw the rest of the room nodding in agreement, even Sakusa who wore a faint blush on his cheeks, causing him to laugh.

Atsumu eyed everyone in the room dramatically, “yer all a buncha dicks.”

Hinata took a block, _Dare: hug your favorite person in the room (with permission)._ Hinata looked at everyone’s expecting eyes and walked to his favorite setter, Kenma, who was already waiting with open arms. As they embraced he thought he was lucky to have gotten that block instead of a truth block like Kageyama.

Sakusa’s turn, _Truth: whats your guilty pleasure in bed?_ Sakusa pursed his lips thoughtfully, “I’ll take a shot, please.”

As he downed the shot, slight disappointment was seen on a couple of faces that now wondered what Sakusa was keeping to himself.

Atsumu finally pulls a block, _Truth: what one item would you take on a desert island?_ Atsumu thought carefully before risking it all, “this block’s kinda borin’ but I’d probably say either Samu’s onigiri ooooooor the letter Shoyo-kun gave me so I have somethin to read.”

Hinata’s mouth popped open, his eyes filled with fear as Atsumu spoke. Bokuto started another round and began trying to get a block dislodged. Kenma and Kuroo who knew what Atsumu was referring to sat on edge trying not to look at Kageyama who was still processing.

Kageyama repeats the words in his head, **_the letter Shoyo-kun gave me_** , he started to understand all the looks from Atsumu through the night. His blood began to boil, _I thought I was overreacting, I thought I was just being jealous for no reason._ ** _the letter Shoyo-kun gave me_** _. Now I know why he kept fucking looking for Shoyo no matter what he was doing or who was talking to him. Is that why he followed him to the restroom?_ ** _the letter Shoyo-kun gave me_** _. What the fuck do I do with this information? Why didn’t he just tell me? Why am I so upset? I don’t know if I’m more annoyed at the fact that Atsumu tried to rub it in my face or the fact that Hinata didn’t tell me._ He bit his lip and finally met Hinata’s eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Hinata’s face gave a silent apology and it was enough to push him over the edge, he took a step back away from Hinata’s reach. “It’s getting late, I still have to get home but it was great seeing all of you, thank you for your kindness.” He quickly gives Bokuto and Akaashi a hug since they are standing by the hallway leading to the door, he walks out not knowing where he is or any plan on how to get home. He considers walking away but instead sits on the curb and orders a cab.

### Back inside

Hinata stares at the doorway Kageyama walked out of. His body is frozen and he feels an arm snake around his shoulders, “dontcha worry bout him, he’ll be okay.” Hinata felt a wave of anger at Atsumu’s disregard for the other setter, he pushes himself out of his grasp and stares at him in disbelief. He starts towards the door to chase after Kageyama leaving a bitter Atsumu staring after him. Kenma and Kuroo meet eyes, Kenma mumbles something to him and the taller man leaves quickly.

Akaashi bit his lip as he saw the mood of the night shift, “you know what we need? Tequila. House rules, two shots for everyone. No exceptions.”

Atsumu easily downed the shots, tasting almost sweet compared to the feeling of Hinata pushing him away. Sakusa sees him out of the corner of his eye and extended his second shot, Atsumu takes it happily, wanting to forget he was still number two.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love house parties? I hope the thoughts and povs from so mny characters weren't confusing. 
> 
> Than you so much for your support, your comments mean the world to me. Come yell at me on twitter:
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	9. I Should Have Taken a Cab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata walked towards the setter until he stood directly in front of him, the blue eyes wouldn’t meet his. He sank into a low squat so that his face was directly in front of Kageyama and could no longer be ignored, “Kageyama, I’m so sorry.”  
> The blue eyes closed, Kageyama knit his eyebrows together and pressed his lips into a tight line.  
> Hinata chewed his lip, “Kageyama, please. We have to talk about this.”  
> Kageyama didn’t open his eyes, instead biting the inside of his cheeks painfully.
> 
> Or: Hinata and Kageyama meet after Kageyama's abrupt exit.  
> Sakusa struggles with a drunk Atsumu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is mention of throw up.   
> This chapter is 4.9k+ words
> 
> So I kind of got carried away with the SakuAtsu interactions and there's almost no plot development in the second half, I am sorry but I hope you still enjoy.

The cool air hit Hinata with a slap when he pushed out of the house, he jogged down to the walkway looking down the street both ways. His eyes caught the now small man holding his knees as he sat on the curb. Hinata sighed in relief, “Kageyama.” The setter looked up at him coldly for only an instant to confirm the voice’s identity and looked away, pulling his long legs into a tighter embrace.

Hinata’s heart sank, he had the sudden urge to cry and run away from the cold look in those blue eyes he loved so much. It took everything in him to continue to try, _it’s my fault anyway. I can’t be hurt by his reaction when I hurt him a hundred times worse. I can’t just keep running. Even if he hates me, I have to try._

Hinata walked towards the setter until he stood directly in front of him, the blue eyes wouldn’t meet his. He sank into a low squat so that his face was directly in front of Kageyama and could no longer be ignored, “Kageyama, I’m so sorry.”

The blue eyes closed, Kageyama knit his eyebrows together and pressed his lips into a tight line.

Hinata chewed his lip, “Kageyama, please. We have to talk about this.”

Kageyama didn’t open his eyes, instead biting the inside of his cheeks painfully.

Hinata’s heart began to crack, the denial of words reminding him of the endless messages he sent, left unanswered when he was all alone and missing home. Tears began to pool in his eyes and he was starting to loose his composure as he was overcome with regret. He couldn’t keep his voice from cracking when he begged, “Kageyama please. Please look at me. Please s-say SOMETHING... just argue with me, scream at me... Tell me to leave you alone, tell me you hate me, tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me to fuck off! ANYTHING. But I can’t take the silence from you. Not again. P-plea—”

Kageyama swiftly released his legs and grabbed the crying man’s shoulders. He pulled them forward forcefully causing Hinata to fall face first into his chest. Kageyama wrapped his arms around him as tears soaked his shirt. It was partly uncomfortable, Hinata’s knees slamming onto the street between Kageyama’s legs. His cheek pressed firmly into the broad chest, calming slowly as the arms around him tightened and the smell of wood and Miyagi filled his nose.

Kageyama’s heart was heavy with regret, _I can’t believe I almost did the same thing again. Yes, I’m upset, but Hinata’s right, we have to talk about it, we’re not kids anymore. I can’t just shut down when I’m upset, I have to actually tell this idiot what’s wrong or he won’t know how to fix it... but I’m just not good with words..._ His hold on Hinata tightened and he leaned down to bury his face into familiar orange hair, the smell of citrus gave him the courage he needed to be honest. Kageyama quietly spoke the words into messy orange hair, “Don’t cry Boke, you don’t even know what you’re sorry about do you?”

Hinata sniffled, “Im sorry for everything. For putting you in this situation, for not talking to you about everything sooner, for not telling you about the other letters, for not knowing what we— us— this— is. For telling you I was leaving just days before I left. For everything that hurt you. I’m so sorry Kageyama. Can you ever forgive me?”

Kageyama’s fingers lifted the spiker’s jaw so their eyes met, “I appreciate the apolo—wait...” Kageyama’s eyes froze over, “you just said ‘ _letters_.’ With an _S_ didn’t you?”

Hinata’s mouth contorted as he tried to hold back more tears, he couldn’t trust his voice and gave a resigned nod instead.

Kageyama closed his eyes and shook his head slowly, trying to stop himself from shutting down. He cleared his throat, “who else?”

Hinata let out a barely audible whisper, “Oikawa.”

Kageyama bit his lip until he tasted blood, he stood up, awkwardly pulling Hinata to his feet and took a couple of steps back, away from the cause of his heart ache. Hinata stood nervously, his knees shook and teeth chattered from crying, “I’m sorry Kageyama, I’ll tell you everything. Just ask, I’ll answer. It wasn’t supposed to be a secret, it wasn’t supposed to happen at all, everything just went to shit so quickly. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was so happy to have you back in my life, I wasn’t thinking of anything else.”

Kageyama spoke through his anger, “fuck, it just had to be Oikawa too?? And Miya?? The the two people that hate me the most... are there more letters?? Maybe one to Tsukishima? Or the kids who used to make fun of me for not playing video games?” Kageyama continued before Hinata could answer, “do they know about your letters to me?”

Hinata shook his head, “you’re the only one that knows about all the letters.. Oikawa knew about my feelings for you but nothing about the letters.”

Kageyama looked up at the night sky in an attempt to calm down, “when did you write the other letters?”

Hinata felt his stomach drop, there was no escape but honesty, “for Oikawa a little before I left Brazil.. for Miya the night I sent out the letters.”

Kageyama’s jaw clenched as he thought of his response, “if there’s anything else you haven’t told me, I need to know right now. Why was he staring at you all night? Why’d he follow you to the bathroom? I mean it, this is the last time I’m asking. I need you to be honest.”

Hinata’s eyes overflowed with tears, “he wanted to know what was going on with us.. and he.. he wanted to make sure I still— I would still go on a date with him like I had agreed. Before— before I went to see you.”

Kageyama stared at him in disbelief, “Hinata. _Fuck_. You wrote that guy a letter not even two weeks ago but still agreed to spend time with me in Tokyo. You even agreed to date him and you didn’t even tell me about it, about you and him! Do you see how fucked up that is?? What did you say to him?”

The words tore into Hinata who could barely stand, all he could do was nod his answer and let the tears stain his cheeks.

Kageyama was shaking with anger and frustration, “I can’t— I can’t look at you right now. How could I be so stupid? We both chose to ignore your second letter and all it’s truth, and look at us now, worse off than we were last week.”

Hinata’s eyes widened in disbelief, “Kageyama don’t say that.” He stepped towards the taller man slowly, not wanting to scare him off. Kageyama didn’t back away, Hinata took the other’s hands tightly in his and met the sad blue eyes with his own, now filled with fire, “I’m so sorry Kageyama, I really am. I didn’t mean to cause you pain. But I need you to listen okay? I agreed to spend time with you because I was so overwhelmed when you came all the way down here, how could I say no to something like that? I didn’t know what was going to happen with you or that it would lead us here. Miya-san also asked me to spend time with him, and I said yes, I said yes before I went to Tokyo.” Hinata’s voice became less patient, finally feeling the sting of the other’s words from earlier, “I’m not saying I’m a saint or anything but I don’t think I did anything wrong. We didn’t talk about what this is or where it’s going.. and you’re right, we didn’t talk about the second letter. But that’s the stuff you should be mad about, the dishonesty and lack of communication, but you can’t get mad at me for liking other people after you, and for dating, and for just trying to piece myself together every day and be happy when you weren’t there. When you haven’t been there for so long. You don’t get to lecture me about my choices when you just came back into my life after _years_ of silence. So I’m sorry if I hurt you, but we’re different people now, you may not even like who I am today, and that’s okay. We have to get to know each other again, the new Kageyama and Hinata. I would love to get to know you again, I know you’re not the same as you were in high school so let’s stop reminiscing and actually enjoy the right now. Will you let me get to know you? I’ll be honest with you from now on, I promise. That’s all I have to say about that, where we go from here is up to you.”

The blue eyes fill with emotion, Kageyama pulls his hands away and swiftly places them on the smaller man’s back pulling him in for an embrace. The hug is warm but not comforting, it’s filled with words still left unsaid and tomorrow’s unknown. Hinata buries his face into the setter’s neck and breathes in his smell for safe keeping in the deepest parts of his memory. Kageyama feels orange hair tickle the tip of his nose, tightening his hold as he tastes citrus for the millionth time since they’ve met, less sweet than he remembered it being.

_Beep_ , a cab arrives.

Kageyama mumbles, “I have to go.”

Hinata squeezes him once more before letting go, “okay.”

The setter takes in the tear stained cheeks once more and opens his mouth slightly before deciding on a silent nod and he turns to walk to the cab. Every fiber in Hinata wants to stop him from leaving this way but he stands frozen, feeling much younger than he was. Kageyama walks slowly as if he was waiting for a sign but there was nothing.

“KAGEYAMA, WAIT!”

Kageyama turned towards Hinata expectantly but found him looking towards the driveway. He followed his eyes and found the owner of the voice. He watched Kuroo jog up to him with an envelope like the ones he had become all too familiar with.

Kuroo gave him a kind smile, “Here. It’s a plane ticket home, you know the drill. We can’t have you driving all the way back when we’re the reason you’re here. Sorry about everything else, you’re a really good guy. It was good to see you man, I mean it.”

Kageyama gave a small smile back, “thank you, Kuroo-san, and please thank Kenma for me.”

Kuroo pats him on the shoulder, “sure thing, send me a message when you get home, number’s in the envelope.”

Kageyama nodded. He moved to put the envelope in his jacket and was reminded of what had led him there in the first place. He pulls the dark envelope from his pocket and hands it to Kuroo, “for Hinata.”

Kuroo takes it and nods. Kageyama steals another glance over at the letter’s author before he gets in the cab and begins his long journey home.

Kuroo walks over to the frozen man and places a hand on his shoulder, “come on Shoyo, let’s go inside.”

The weight on his shoulder brings him back, he lets the taller man guide him towards the house. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hands and practices his smile.

Kuroo pauses before opening the door, “breath, Shoyo.”

Hinata nods and takes in oxygen he forgot he needed. They step inside and join the remaining 5 in the dining room.

Kuroo meets Kenma’s eyes before approaching Bokuto, “hey we’re going to go ahead and head out man!” They begin saying their goodbyes to the sweet hosts handing out hugs and thanks. Hinata says goodbye to Bokuto and Akaashi then turns toward the table. Atsumu has avoided his eyes and Sakusa is visibly annoyed by Atsumu. Although Hinata feels awkward doing so after his earlier exit, he still makes an effort to say goodbye to his teammates, “Good night! See you both at practice!” The blonde doesn’t look at him but holds up a small peace sign before taking a big gulp of brown liquid. Sakusa gives them a short _goodnight_.

As soon as Hinata is in the car he lays in the back seat, painfully aware of the extra room, now present from Kageyama’s absence. Before he begins the drive home, Kuroo reaches his arm towards the back seat, “Kageyama asked me to give this to you.”

Hinata mumbles his thanks and takes the dark envelope, clutching it to his chest the whole ride home.

...

### Meanwhile at the BokuAka’s home:

Sakusa sighs in frustration, a quick glance to his watch and around the room remind him of just how wrong things had turned out. _I was supposed to leave hours ago, that’s why I was early. Now I’ve been here the longest, I am a terrible guest. If I order a cab right now I’ll still have to wait another 35 minutes at least with the demand and location.. fuck. And then there’s this idiot.._

Sakusa’s face scrunches in disgust as he takes in the state of Atsumu. He rips a glass out of the setter’s hands, “that’s enough.”

Atsumu groans but doesn’t argue, instead laying his cheek on the table, clearly intoxicated.

Akaashi comes in with a couple of glasses of water in hands, “Sakusa-san, here. You’re welcome to stay the night, the guest rooms are ready and clean. Its late and it may take a while for a cab to make its way out here to pick you up. Please consider staying, we would love to have you both.”

Sakusa takes a drink of the water, _fuck. How can someone be so pleasant? But the last thing I want to do is sleep anywhere other than my bed after a long evening surrounded by idiots and Akaashi and that other long haired one was okay too I guess. But I need a nice shower and my bed, I need my bed. But most of all I need to be alone. Alone and clean and—_

Atsumu stands up quickly with a slap of hands on the table, “I’m up!! Alright I’m gonna head home.”

The drunk blonde fishes his keys from his pocket, he starts walking towards the door only to crash face first into a strong wall named Bokuto blocking the exit, “hey hey hey Tsum-tsum! You know we can’t let you drive home. Keys, please.”

Atsumu grumbles his capabilities as he places his keys into Bokuto’s open palm.

Sakusa sees an opening, “I can take him home, then I can take a cab from his place or take his car home if I need to.”

Bokuto raises an eyebrow at him, “you sure you’re okay to drive?”

Sakusa scoffs, “yes, I’m fine. I would not have suggested it if I wasn’t capable of doing so. Only a selfish idiot would drink and dr—“

“Okay okay!! Just makin sure! relax!” Bokuto interrupts with a laugh and hands him the keys, “you sure you can handle this one though?”

Sakusa looks in the direction Bokuto is pointing at to see a slumped Atsumu leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. He clenches his jaw and nods.

Bokuto swiftly picks up Atsumu, carrying him over his shoulder and out the door to set him in the car. Akaashi places a water bottle in Atsumu’s hands and a small trash can holding a clean plastic bag in between his legs, just in case he gets nauseous on the way home. Sakusa is thankful for them helping him get the useless man to the car. They say their goodbyes and thanks, Sakusa watches them walk back inside, the larger figure wraps his arm around the other’s waist and they walk side by side, _cute_.

Sakusa gets in the driver’s seat and glances at the lump beside him, **_not_** _cute_.

He turns on the car and begins adjusting the seat placement and mirrors. When he’s about to shift into drive he realizes he doesn’t know where he’s going. Annoyed, he clears his throat, “Miya, where do you live?”

Atsumu knits his eyebrows together having fallen asleep.

Sakusa reaches for his his phone and pulls up his maps app ready to input the address. He speaks louder, “MIYA, where do you live?”

Atsumu mumbles, “Japan.”

Sakusa rolls his eyes, “No shit Sherlock, but _where_ in Japan?”

“Mmm Hyogo”

Sakusa is starting to lose his patience, “where do you live NOW?”

“MmmmOsaka mhm Osaka now, MSBYinOsakahahahammm”

Sakusa sighs, _this is going no where_ , “where’s your wallet?”

Atsumu’s head falls slightly, he takes a frustrated breath, not wanting his sleep disturbed, “pocket, duh”

Sakusa knows he’s drunk and not looking at him but is still embarrassed at the obvious answer, “give me your wallet.”

Atsumu moans a complaint, “mmm can’t. Tired.”

Sakusa wants to strangle him, “fine. I’m going to reach into your pocket. Okay?”

Atsumu hums, “mmmmkay”

Sakusa pats the top of Atsumu’s thighs, he finds no lumps, “your wallet’s not there.”

The corners of Atsumu’s mouth curl in a lazy smirk, “Butt.”

Sakusa rolls his eyes he slowly slips his hand down Atsumu’s back feeling for a pocket and finding it empty, before he can say anything about it Atsumu’s smirks wider, “other pocket.”

Sakusa rips his hand away and punches the stupid blonde’s shoulder.

“Ow!”

Sakusa leans further over to reach Atsumu’s other side, his flexible wrists perfect for reaching around the body. He leans his right arm on the divider between the seats and explores further between Atsumu’s back and the passenger’s seat. _Thank God Miya’s eyes are closed, I’m too close to his stupid face. Why are his pockets so low set? I swear if it’s not in his pocket I’m going to set the car on fire with him in it and walk home._

Atsumu’s thoughts are hazy, _where the hell am I? Is someone feelin me up? Or stealing my wallet? I’m so damn tired, why did I drink so much? How am I gonna get home? Fuck_. He can feel someone’s presence over him, a lock of hair tickles the tip of his nose. He wants to open his eyes but they are heavy and he knows the loss of visual sensory is the only thing keeping him from throwing up. The presence has a pleasant smell, clean and cool. _Is that mint? Or like laundry or some shit? Not shit, definitely don’t smell like shit._ Atsumu let’s out a small chuckle at his own choice of words.

The noise sends a shiver down Sakusa’s spine, he finally reaches the wallet and fishes it out swiftly. He immediately leans back into his own seat and away from the blonde mess beside him. Atsumu let’s out a small whine, missing the clean scent. Sakusa quickly opens up the wallet, pulls out Atsumu’s ID, and types in the address into his phone. _Finally_. He buckles his seatbelt and checks all the mirrors one more time. He glances over to a now snoring Atsumu and groans when he realizes Bokuto didn’t buckle the seatbelt. _Should I just leave it? I’m an excellent driver. And I mean what’s the worse that could happen? We get in an accident? He flies out of the windshield? No biggie._ Sakusa snorts at his own joke and reaches over once more, this time for the seatbelt. Atsumu shifts slightly making Sakusa hold his breath. When the blonde continues to snore he clicks the seatbelt in place and leans back into his seat to finally head out.

...

During the drive Sakusa starts to feel the effects of the long night. Atsumu’s light snores don’t help, they are quiet and long and would be excellent white noise. Sakusa tried to keep himself awake by analyzing his surroundings, _the car is actually much cleaner than I expected it to be. It looks like he just bought it, not a smudge from dirty fingers or a balled up receipt or any loose change in sight. It even smells new, like leather seats and only a hint of something, is that cologne? I wonder if he just got it detailed? There’s no way he could keep it this clean on his own._

Sakusa steals a glance at Atsumu when he notices the snoring has stopped. The setter is still, his cheek pressing into the window glass. _What an idiot. Wait, is he dead?_ Sakusa makes sure no cars are on the road and looks back over at Atsumu, he sees a small collection of fog from his breath on the window and sighs. Sakusa let’s out a small chuckle, _I need to stop with the death jokes before they slip out and someone hears._

Sakusa turns on the radio at a low setting in an effort to stay awake, the soft music that rolls out makes him feel softer somehow. He checks on Atsumu at a red light, _I guess he’s not so bad when he’s quiet. He actually looks kind of handsome? No, fuck no. Why did I think that? I meant to say less ugly. Right, he looks less awful now that he’s quiet and sleeping. Without that stupid smirk on his face he looks more innocent and almost pleasant? Maybe to someone who doesn’t know him at all_. He lets out a snort, _I have to remember to say that the next time he annoys me_.

...

They arrive in front of Atsumu’s house, and the snores have grown deeper. Sakusa steps out of the car and slams the door, hoping to wake up the stupid blonde. He rounds the car and Atsumu hasn’t even shifted, he swings the passenger door open hoping the setter would fall out onto the concrete but the seatbelt proves reliable and his head only bobs onto his shoulder.

He clears his throat, “Miya. Wake up!”

There is no response. Sakusa opens up the small gate and walks up to the house that appears to be empty and unlocks the door. He gets back to the car and lifts his foot to nudge Atsumu’s thigh first lightly and then more forcefully, “MI-YA. WAKE UP. It’s time to GO.”

Atsumu groans and makes an embarrassing attempt to stand up with no real strength and still held in place by his seat belt.

Sakusa clicks his tongue loudly, _I wish Bokuto was here to carry this piece of human garbage inside. What do I do? Can he sleep in the car? Will he die? Fuck, if he wakes up in the car he’s not gonna let me hear the end of it, then he’ll probably tell Bokuto and it’ll eventually get back to Akaashi both of whom had offered guest rooms that I denied. Fuck. I should have taken a cab._

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his mask from earlier and a pair of black latex gloves he carried for opening cab doors. He reaches into the car and releases the seatbelt holding Atsumu prisoner. He shakes Atsumu’s shoulders and coaches him in a firm voice, “MIYA! Focus. I’m going to pull you up but you need to use your legs. If you don’t, you will fall onto concrete and I will NOT catch you. Do you understand?”

Atsumu hums but doesn’t open his eyes. Sakusa counts to three and lifts Atsumu out of the car by his armpits. The blonde giggles stupidly but stands on his own wobbly legs. Sakusa adjusts him so he’s leaning over the car and closes the door, “can’t you walk?”

Atsumu takes a halfhearted step forward and almost falls on his face, caught only by Sakusa’s strong grip on the back of his shirt. A slightly choking Atsumu gives his savior a closed eye fox grin, “thought ya weren’t gonna catch me.”

Sakusa rolls his eyes, thankful for Atsumu’s closed eyes that couldn’t see the embarrassment he felt, “shut up, Miya. Now hurry up, get on my back.”

Atsumu goes pink, “w-what?”

Sakusa crouches slightly in front of him and places the other’s hands on his shoulders, “hurry up.”

Atsumu feels heat on his cheeks when he feels the strong shoulders on his hands but does as he’s told. With a small jump he wraps his arms above broad shoulders and feels his legs spread to fit the waist of his savior. He takes a big whiff of the clean scent and feels long hands sliding up the back of his thighs to settle just below his ass. He feels more awake from the contact and does his best to keep his voice steady, “mmready, yip yip.”

Sakusa let out a snort and started towards the house, “shut up, Ang.”

Atsumu laughed into the crook of his neck and leaned into the broad back. The comforting smell filled his nose and soft hair flirted with his cheek. He forced himself to open one eye and caught a glimpse of dark curls and a pink ear, he had the urge to stick his tongue out and soothe the warm skin. _Omi-kun_. The thought made him dizzy, well everything made him dizzy. _Opening my eye was a mistake, but at least now I know for sure. I can’t believe he’s actually touching me, well sort of. Or that he would even bring me home. How long was I out of it? The last thing I remember is— is Jenga. I think? Fuck. What the fuck happen—_

Sakusa stepped into the doorway and released his grip on the setter’s thick thighs causing him to fall back into a stumble before catching himself on the wall, “damn Omi-Omi!! Give a guy a warnin' next time!”

Sakusa smiled to himself and checked the time, “it’s late. You’re home. I’m leaving now. Can I take your car?”

Atsumu opened his mouth to answer but quickly threw his hand over it. With wide eyes he sprinted to the bathroom, pushing past Sakusa. Atsumu fell to the floor in front of the toilet just in time and threw up liquid. He was having trouble breathing, dying from the spew of liquid he couldn’t control and the embarrassment from leaving the door open knowing Sakusa had front row seats to his undoing.

Sakusa stood awkwardly in the other room, _I should leave, he needs some privacy. I CANT see him throw up, just thinking about it makes me—_ Sakusa swallows back his building discomfort. _I should leave. I need to leave._ He steps towards the door, stopped only by the whines coming from the bathroom and a flush. His conscious begins to make his brow furrow. _Fuck. Why me? I should have taken a damn cab. If I take his car without permission, I’m a thief. If I sit here and wait for a cab doing nothing, I’m a dick. I hate the societal norms everyone keeps beating into me, when the fuck did I let them stick? Fuck me_. He walks to the kitchen and checks under the sink settling on a lemon disinfectant. Sakusa takes a breath and walks towards the bathroom slowly, holding the spray in front of him like a gun. He sprays almost the entire can into the entry of the bathroom and hears coughs come from inside, “OMI STOP! Yer gonna— kill me!”

Sakusa stops once the smell of lemon sinks into his nostrils. He steps inside hesitantly to find Atsumu resting his cheek on the toilet seat. _Disgusting. That huge head of his must be heavy, he’s always laying it on everything._

Sakusa washes Atsumu’s face and arms with soap and water and almost drowns Atsumu. He then proceeds to brush the blonde’s teeth and tongue violently leaving him more worn out than throwing up.

...

Sakusa almost throws Atsumu onto the bed, tired of babying the needy mess. Atsumu groans, “owww, head hurts.”

Sakusa rolls his eyes and fetched a glass of water, pain killers, and a sports drink he found in the fridge. Atsumu is snoring again when he is back, “wake up, take this.” Atsumu grunts but obliges half asleep. Sakusa takes the chance to escape, “I’m leaving now, I’m taking your car.”

Atsumu’s hand catches Sakusa’s sleeve, careful not to tough his body, “stay. Please.”

Sakusa stares at the tight hand in silence.

Atsumu forces his eyes open, “Omi, stay. Ya can stay in the guest room, it’s clean and there’s a bathroom in there that no one uses. M’not askin, I know yer tired.”

Sakusa watches the slightly shorter man stand up, he pulls him out of the room and to the door at the end of the hall. He finds a well kept room. Sakusa looks at the bed inviting him in and feels the weight of the day fall on him. He pulls his sleeve out of Atsumu’s grasp and nods.

Atsumu exits the room quickly and returns with a pile of clean clothes and a couple of towels. Sakusa takes them with a short thank you.

...

After Sakusa’s shower he feels much better until he steps out to find Atsumu sitting on the floor by the edge of the bed, asleep. He nudges him with his foot lightly, “get out, leave me alone.”

Atsumu mumbles barely audibly from sleep, “mmstop pushing me.. away.. Hinata.”

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it this far and still reading. Your comments keep me alive, more plot next time, hopefully lol. 
> 
> My twitter:
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	10. Left in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakusa has a feeling he cannot place.  
> The contents of the last letter are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 2.6k+words long

The words hit Sakusa like a whip, he stands frozen as he stares at the blonde mess of drool in front of him. _Idiot. I should kick him out, or maybe just kick him? At least he’s not on the bed... I guess that was kind of thoughtful of him. He looks disgusting though, didn’t even shower... He does look a bit uncomfortable though. There’s no way I’m pulling him onto the bed with me, and it’s too much work to drag him back to his. Should I just leave him there? I mean why did he sit there in the first place? This is the consequence to his actions... ugh why am I even having this conversation?_

Sakusa walks towards the bed and begins to inspect the sheets before pulling them away after confirming their cleanliness. Before stepping into the comfortable bed a light snore coming from the floor makes his conscience scream at his earlier decision to do nothing. _Fuck me_. Sakusa scrunches his face and leaves the room, he drags a large fluffy blanket and pillow off of Atsumu’s bed. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a piss colored paper fall to the floor. _Who would store paper on a bed?_ He leans over and picks up what he now realizes is an envelope addressed to Atsumu. Before his thoughts can catch up, his nosey fingers have expertly pulled out the letter. Sakusa reads the letter quickly, glancing towards the door a couple of times, embarrassed to be doing this, but too curious to stop. His mind has connected all the pieces, _this is what made Kageyama leave in such a hurry earlier... this is probably what has Atsumu acting even more stupid than usual. Hinata... but how would Kageyama know what the letter consisted of? How would he know it was a love letter? They seemed pretty close at the party.. there’s something I'm missing... This is none of my business_.

He finishes reading the confession and tosses the envelop back onto the bed carelessly. As he walks back he shakes his head in annoyance at the missing information he wants to stop analyzing. When he looks at Atsumu he is somehow more annoyed with him now, slightly angry even. He throws the pillow on the floor and pushes Atsumu’s shoulder forcefully causing him to fall face first onto the pillow. _Lucky_ , he thinks silently, hoping he would have slammed his face against the floor. Before he can cover him up with the blanket, Atsumu shifts, already more comfortable than he was seconds earlier, “mmmHinata.”

Sakusa’s mouth fills with a sour taste, he drops the balled up blanket on top of the sleeping Atsumu’s face, resisting the urge to smother him. He walks back to the bed in annoyance as mumbles, “maybe Hinata can help you with that then.”

He lays on the comfortable bed, allowing his body to finally relax. The sheets smell like lilac detergent and bring him comfort, _I may actually be able to sleep here._

Who was he kidding? The more comfortable his body felt, the faster his mind raced. He replayed the events of the night in his head, analyzing ever detail. Picking up all the glances and awkward eye contact between the two setters and their orange haired spiker. _They almost kissed in the hallway. Then Miya kissed my forehead. Miya kissed my forehead and I didn’t throw up at the contact. Did I drink too much? Everyone saw him kiss my forehead. Kissed me. He kissed me. Why? Because I agreed to go on a date with him. Why the fuck would I do that? To make Hinata jealous. Why would I agree to something so petty? Because Ats—Miya asked you to. So what? Because it would make Miya happ—finally shut up_. Sakusa shook his head in an attempt to silence the thoughts but they didn’t. Words he read in the letter earlier played back in his mind, _“Tsumu... made my heart flutter... so nice to me... you are so HOT... you smell so good.. slurp your tongue up into my own mouth...I won’t be able to control myself... I love the time we spend together.. Those droopy eyes of yours and your smile... I see you Atsumu... lucky I got to have you... Love, Shoyo_...”

A sick feeling pooled in the pit of his stomach, a poison slowly seeping through the rest of his body. Sakusa tried to ignore the feeling that forced his eyebrows to knit together, and the urge to punch one of the 4 pillows on his temporary bed. _Why would someone say those things about Atsum— about Miya?? Hinata must have quite strange taste. Sure, Miya is objectively attractive I guess, but nice?? Who has he been interacting with? There is no way the purposely annoying, selfish, and conceited asshole could ever be described as nice. Did he let me stay here? Yes, but I wouldn’t have to stay here if he wouldn’t have drank so much. Yes, He asked me out for a date, but only to help himself reach his ultimate goal of dating someone else. The point is, Atsumu is **not** nice._

The feeling in Sakusa’s stomach, that he still couldn’t place, didn’t go away. He slowly came to realize that it wasn’t due to the food or drinks he had earlier that night. _I mean I guess I’m a bit angry and annoyed but this feels different, a bit bitter and more shameful? Embarrassing? What is this... I might ask Komori tomorrow if I remember..._ He let out a sigh in defeat and stared blankly at the ceiling, the light snores coming from the end of the bed carried into his ears like a lullaby. As Sakusa began to feel the white noise push out the repeating thoughts, a final puzzle piece found its place in his mind, _is this_... _what jealousy feels like? No. No fucking way... Fuck._

...

**Meanwhile, in Hinata’s room**

A few more tears pooled in the corner of his mouth. He had been crying since he had said goodnight to his friends and found himself alone in his room. He’s now on his bed staring at his hands, _Why am I even crying? I don’t even know what I’m upset about. I knew none of this would end well, so why am I surprised at the consequences of my actions? I’m so stupid, why would I take Kageyama with me, knowing Atsumu would be there? Would things have turned out differently?_ The guilt of his decisions and thoughts began to sit within him. _Wow I really am a piece of shit. I started to wish they wouldn’t have seen each other tonight, instead of wishing I would have just come clean. I don’t know what’s happened to me, I was so scared of getting hurt I ended up hurting myself AND two people I care so much about. I guess it was only a matter of time before it all blew up in my face anyway. I can’t help but feel it though, even though I know it’s my fault... I can’t help but feel so alone. Now I’m left with no one... again._

_Im so confused. After Kageyama left, it felt like my breath was stolen. But I felt something similar when Atsumu and I almost kissed in the hall, I felt breathless and like a magnetic force was pulling us together. Then when Atsumu kissed Sakusa, I felt confused and even a bit jealous at the sight. What’s wrong with me? Can I really like two people at the same time? Being with each of them is just so different... I guess it may not matter now. Kageyama didn’t technically say goodbye but it felt so... so final? I don’t know... I said it was up to him where we go from here but knowing him, that may mean going back to the way things were before we reconnected. I would like us to move past things and at least be friends, but we’ve never really been good at that I guess. And what about Atsumu? What’s with him and Sakusa-san? Not that it’s any of my business... but didn’t he just ask me if we were still going to go on a date? And I was with Kageyama, so I really shouldn’t say anything. He probably won’t even want to go out with me after I pushed him away. Nice going Hinata, you’re still an idiot, just like you were when you wrote the second letter, the one Kageyama and me chose to ignore. Who were we kidding? How could we ignore any of it? That’s just it, we can’t. That’s why the night progressed the way it did, trouble always seems to follow us._

Hinata shifted until he was laying down, clutching the letter to his chest. _Part of me can’t believe he even opened this, it’s still perfectly sealed, not a crease or corner out of place. I still hate how perfect and precise he is, okay we get it, your fingers are magic_. Hinata resisted the urge to open the envelope that no longer belonged to him. _Maybe this is what he wants, to close this chapter of his life, to seal me and my feelings back up and send them back to where they came from. I remember exactly where they came from, a place of sorrow and hurt. I shouldn’t have sent the second letter. Maybe we could have salvaged things if I wouldn’t have kept it in the same envelope. By doing that I was already giving him a beginning and an end, one he resealed and returned, confirming the end and the outcome._

Although he really wanted to open the envelope, he didn’t need to. Hinata still remembered the day he wrote the letter, and all its contents.

...

It was August 1st during his second year in Brazil. Hinata’s birthday had come and gone without any acknowledgment or congratulations from Kageyama. He had waited all of July, hoping the setter had confused June with July and was going to be late to say anything. No message came. Yachi has wished him a happy birthday on Kageyama’s behalf and it felt like a slap in the face. Hinata’s heart crumbled, he had reached his limit. He decided to let his words spill onto paper in an effort to feel better.

_Kageyama,_

_I have so much to say. So much that is keeping me from moving forward, so much that is weighing me down. I can’t believe you. What happened? What did I do to deserve this? I have sent you so many messages and I’m met with nothing, it’s even more embarrassing with every message that goes unanswered. I keep sending them as a way of saying, “hey, it’s okay if you didn’t answer all the messages before, here’s another chance for you. Here’s another opportunity to stay in my life. Please, just answer this, the rest doesn’t matter. Just meet me half way.” But you never did. You even missed my birthday... I know the way I left things wasn’t ideal, but that was one occasion, the one time I didn’t think about anyone but myself. What about the thousands of moments when I reached out? Do those not matter?_

_I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, it’s always been like this, I’ve just chosen to ignore it since we could usually work well on the court. But even then we had to work so hard to get there, you were so quick to withhold sets and feelings, everyday I had to work hard to earn your trust. I just wanted to be good enough for your sets and for you. But it was never enough. Whenever I thought I had finally earned it, a place in your heart, you would pull back yet again. But I would keep pestering you, making you feel better, ignoring your harsh words with a smile or a positive attitude when they still cut me like a knife. I can feel sad too, you know? I’m not the sun, I’m not this giant mass of energy and light, I’m more of a crank light. My energy and positivity is hard work, I force myself to push forward, and if I stop for even a second, the light dies and I’m left in the dark._

_That’s where I’m at now, in the dark. I’ve been waiting to hear from you for over a year. I’ve been holding on to all the nice memories of us: our late night practices, our many competitions, the time you sat on my bike and I dropped you off at home, our tournaments, the food we shared, the blush in your cheeks when I could actually make you smile. But as time passes, and the love fades, my memories of us become tainted. My vision is no longer clouded by the pink hue of love, the darker reality sets in. We did nothing but fight, our competitions would push us too far, we were so stupid and immature. But worst of all, I still wasn’t good enough to go with you. And you still didn’t trust me enough to ask me to stay or share all the thoughts I could see cloud your blue eyes._

_I’ve missed you so much Kageyama, more than I thought myself capable of. But I’ve been missing an image of you I created for myself in my head. I’ve romanticized our interactions into something they aren’t, I wanted so badly to have fate pull us together again. I wanted us being together at Karasuno to have been for something worthy of having our story told. I thought it was serendipity, being at the right place at the right time. But look at us now? I wouldn’t call this serendipity, it’s more of a cruel joke the universe felt I needed for character development. I thought you and I were the main characters, to be together forever, but we were just stepping stones for each other on completely separate paths, with uncertain destinations._

_I am tired of feeling this. I am tired of loving more than I am loved, I am tired of always giving and never receiving. I can’t keep living in the past, I want to grow stronger and I will. I am going to move forward now, I am going to crank my light until it’s even brighter, even if it feels like the only thing that surrounds me is a color as dark as your soft hair. I just can’t keep waiting for something, someone, I know will not come back._

_I don’t mean to hurt you, that’s the last thing I want, I wouldn’t wish anyone the feelings I have been struggling with, I write this letter more for myself. A final goodbye to the idea of my first love. A last chance to make sure I remember this moment filled with heartache. I hope to look back at this moment in the future with gratitude, to be able to say, “I survived, I chose to move forward and now I am happier than I could ever imagine.” I hope to be loved equally one day and see life through a pink hue again. This is but the end to a chapter in a long story I am yet to know._

_Will we ever meet again? I know we will, I plan on returning to Japan. Will we pick up where we left off? No, we will be picking things up in a different place, I hope to finally get to play against you again. I want to beat you. That’s the role we were meant to play on the stage of our lives, we are rivals, we are opposites. Not two halves of a whole, we are different creatures entirely. Destined to fight, not destined to love. Nevertheless, you were still my first love, outside of volleyball. Everyday, I loved you. Everyday, I missed you. But tomorrow is a new day, and I will be a new Hinata, Shoyo._

_So Goodbye, Kageyama._

_Best,_

_Hinata, Shoyo_

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late upload and shorter than usual chapter, I work in the mental health field and my job has been very stressful. New chapters might be uploaded on a less regular schedule until I get back into a regular rhythm at work and have more time to write. I really want to give you guys the best I can and take my time writing the upcoming chapters, I just ask for your patience. I apologize for the inconvenience, thank you for your continued support. 
> 
> Any questions can be answered on my twitter:
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	11. This Isn't a Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s about to sit on the couch when his phone rings displaying “Miya.” Sakusa feels his chest tighten, he’s calling to cancel. He clears his throat to collect himself and a trembling finger accepts the call, “Hello?”
> 
> Atsumu rushes when he speaks, “Omi-Omi! I’m here, I’d go get ya at the door but this place is huge and I don’t know where ya actually live. For the record, I argued with this guy at the front desk for a while but he said no when I asked him for your apartment number because of priiiivacy or some shit. So point is, get yer ass down here before I’m considered late to pickin ya up.” Click.
> 
> A large smile spreads across Sakusa’s face. What an idiot. He’s actually early, that’s cu— good that’s good, I don’t have to be annoyed at that then. He looks at his reflection one last time and adjusts his black mask before going down to meet Atsumu.
> 
> Or: A very SakuAtsu heavy chapter with some AtsuHina crumbs. Atsumu takes Sakusa out on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter is 8.7k words long and contains angst but also lots of fluff.
> 
> Here is a random playlist of songs I could see them playing in the later part of the chapter if you are interested:  
> [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/43QplgJKU1IO6Ot4jU6lKA?si=2P2RCUmrSMqOhF3fb8FugQ ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/43QplgJKU1IO6Ot4jU6lKA?si=2P2RCUmrSMqOhF3fb8FugQ)  
> Try to guess which songs Atsumu played and which songs Sakusa played. Listen to the playlist on shuffle, the song order doesn't mean anything, that's just the order the songs popped up for me in my likes playlist. Hope you enjoy. (YES this is a selfish playlist for my own entertainment and basically just a collection of love songs that I enjoy)

Atsumu woke up the next morning with his head throbbing, his eyes fluttered open, assaulted by the rays of morning light seeping into the vaguely familiar room. _The fuck_? He put all his strength into getting up slowly, to minimize his headache. As he stood in what he now recognized as his guest room the vague and scattered memories of last night flooded into his mind. He turned towards the bed and saw a slight lump slowly rising and falling with the breath of sleep. A sinister smile spread across his lips, he walked over to the head of the bed, his original idea was to scare the lump out of sleep but he quickly lost his train of thought when his breath hitched at the sight of the sleeping man. _Omi_. Atsumu took in the sight, never having seen Sakusa in such a state. Of course he had seen him sleep on the team bus before but he never seemed comfortable or even fully asleep. He usually had his eyebrows pulled together tight and the rest of his face covered with a mask, to Atsumu it just seemed more like a strategy to avoid conversation than actually rest. But in this moment, Atsumu was left frozen in awe as he took in his perfectly smooth features, there was no scrunch in his nose or brow, he was deep in sleep with his full lashes fluttering every so often. His lips were slightly parted and his breathing was deep and even. The only thing out of place were his curls who had a mind of their own, a mop of black seemed to explode out of his head every which way around his head except for two curls that fell on his forehead, at either side of his perfectly placed moles. Atsumu resists the urge to push them away from the perfectly peaceful face. _Ya **would** sleep on yer back, like a serial killer_. Atsumu’s stare finally sees the dark shade peeking under Sakusa’s closed eyes. _Ya must be exhausted Omi-Omi, I must’ve been a handful last night. M’sorry Omi_. A wave of guilt added to his painful hangover, _dammit Omi, why would ya put up with me? Ya shoulda just left me in the car or even at Bokkun’s, why’d ya have to be so damn nice and drag me all the way home?? Now I feel like.. like I owe ya or somethin? I’m such an idiot_. Atsumu huffed to himself and left the room as quietly as possible, gulped down some aspirin and water, then got to work.

...

Sakusa had been awake since he felt a presence above him but chose to remain still. He wasn’t ready to get up, he figured if he stayed still the always hungry for attention Atsumu would go back to his cave and wait until later to annoy him. Atsumu did just that, he even left the room from the click Sakusa heard after a few steps. It was painfully difficult for Sakusa to keep his face wrinkle free with the amount of rude staring Atsumu was doing. Sakusa had drifted back into much needed sleep and woke up again when there was a light tap on his shoulder followed by a whispered, “Omi.”

Sakusa’s face crumpled and he let out a groan, “what?”

Atsumu chuckled, “c’mon ya need to get up, we still have practice in a couple hours. Ya need a shower n’food.”

Sakusa didn’t open his eyes and just groaned in annoyance, “five minutes, Miya.” He hated mornings, that’s why he would always go to bed early, he knew he was terrible at waking up early.

Atsumu let’s out a fake sigh, “fine, but if yer not up in five, I’m layin’ down with ya.”

Sakusa’s eyes flew open and he sat up immediately, he glared at Atsumu who wore a cheeky smile, “I’m up.”

Atsumu gave him a wink before walking out of the room and calling back, “breakfast in five. Don’t make me come find ya.”

Sakusa let himself fall back onto the pillow, _fucking Miya. How can he be so chipper and annoying this early? And after all that drinking?? Animal. He is not human._ Sakusa fought his way out of the warm embrace of the comfortable bed and into the private bathroom. He took in his disheveled appearance and sighed, no wonder Miya was staring. His hair was a nest of soft frizzy curls where each pointed in a different direction. He dearly missed his satin pillowcase and curl specific hair products he used after showers. All Atsumu had was leave-in conditioner which was already more than Sakusa had expected. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and washed his face. He wet his hair and combed through it with his fingers as best he could, trying to both tame and define each curl. He looked at himself again and was less of a mess, he had done what he could with the supplies he was given and lack of restful sleep.

With a sigh of defeat he walked towards the kitchen.

He was surprised to find Atsumu sitting around the kitchen island waiting for him, “finally Omi! Sit down! M’starvin.”

Sakusa did as he was told and sat on the only other stool available, across from Atsumu. He mumbled, “thank you for the food.” As he took in the various plates of breakfast food in front of him, not knowing where to even start. Atsumu shoveled food in his mouth and watched the spiker take in the scene, “here, I’ll make ya a plate.” Atsumu reached for the plate in front of Sakusa and carefully served him some eggs, potatoes, bacon, and a couple of slices of French toast. He explained as he handed the plate back to his guest, “it’s an American style breakfast, I learned to make it when I lived abroad. It’s a hell of a hangover cure. Want some coffee? Tea?”

Sakusa finally began eating, “coffee, please.” He was surprised at how delicious the food was, he hadn’t expected Atsumu to know how to cook. He couldn’t help a soft _mmm_ that escaped his lips when he took a bite of French toast and immediately regretted it as a gleaming smile spread across Atsumu’s face, “Ya like it?? I’m an ex-ce-llent cook ain’t I? Here, try it with syrup!”

As a way to avoid complimenting him further Sakusa took a sip of his perfectly balanced coffee and asked, “you really make all this before practice every day?”

A hint of embarrassment dusted Atsumu’s cheeks, “Nah, I just uh- wanted to thank ya. For bringin' me all the way home. Ya didn’t have to, but ya did it anyway so... M’sorry for bein' such a mess and ruinin' yer night. So here’s my thanks and my apology.” He started shoveling food down again and avoided Sakusa’s eyes.

Sakusa was taken aback. _For me?_ He didn’t know exactly what to say. He considered giving him a hard time after all the sleep he lost but a small flicker of warmth within him stopped his verbal assault on the blonde showing he was sorry. He finally settled on a flat, “you’re welcome. More of that bread... please.”

Atsumu’s eyes gleamed the way they usually did after landing a risky set in the perfect position, he gave Sakusa the entire plate of French toast.

...

Everyone seemed off at practice, the activities from the night before earning them a team talk about responsibility and the importance of proper rest from their captain. Bokuto was the only one who seemed immune, loud as ever and only slightly off his game. He was a little tired but mostly just hungry, he wished he could have spent more time with Akaashi for breakfast.

Sakusa was grumpier than usual from lack of sleep and not having been home since leaving for the party yesterday. He was forced to wear some of Atsumu’s athletic clothes to practice and although he knew they were clean he felt embarrassed and hoped no one would notice. They fit him slightly baggy in some places and too short in others, his long legs more exposed than he was used to, making him self conscious. Of course, no one said anything but he couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes on him more than usual. He couldn’t wait to go home.

Atsumu had a hangover and kept missing sets, finding it harder than usual to sync up with any of his teammates. He was still trying to piece everything from the night before together, especially wondering where he stood with the orange haired man after his word vomit effectively killed the party. The guilt he felt when he would look at either Hinata or Sakusa made him want to throw up and his headache hadn’t calmed down at all. He wondered how he was going to fix things, he wanted to see his brother.

Hinata had been uncharacteristically quiet, still replaying the events from last night, kicking himself for not doing things differently. He tried to hide his glances between Sakusa and Atsumu who came in together. Hinata noticed the tag that briefly stuck out of the back of the shorts Sakusa was wearing when he stretched that read “A.Miya.” He immediately snapped his eyes away, not knowing what to do with that information. _Did they spend the night together? But wasn’t Atsumu-san confirming our date yesterday? But he did kiss him... did that lead to something else? What’s going on?_

Hinata bit his lip, wondering if it was too late, if Atsumu had already moved on. He wanted to disappear.

...

A frustrated coach Foster called for a break much sooner than usual, the four young jackals were thankful.

Hinata busied himself with his phone in the corner, contemplating whether he should send a text to Kenma or Kageyama. One of which he knew was the worse possible idea he could imagine, potentially causing his heart irreparable damage if he received no response.

Sakusa left the gym entirely to to go to the convenience store a couple of minutes away for coffee and an energy drink.

Atsumu’s eyes took turns trailing after both spikers who went in opposite directions, he would usually annoy one of them with his presence but settled instead beside Bokuto who sat against the wall appearing to be asleep.

A small smile slid onto Bokuto’s face when Atsumu poked his shoulder to see if he was actually sleeping.

Atsumu chuckled, “knew it.”

Bokuto let out a hearty laugh that made Atsumu wince, “Tsum-Tsum! Oh, sorry.” He lowered his voice after seeing Atsumu’s pained expression, “you must be pretty hung over huh?”

Atsumu closed his eyes and laid his head back onto the wall, “I’m dyin' Bokkun.”

Bokuto chuckled, “‘Kaaashi just gets excited when we have guests, you can say no to shots next time. He knows no one can keep up... except maybe Kuroo if he’s drink...”

Atsumu didn’t hear the rest of Bokuto’s explanation as he drifted into sleep. It wasn’t restful but it was the black void his eyes and brain needed to stop his head from throbbing. The peaceful solitude was interrupted a few minutes later by a cold weight falling into his lap.

Atsumu jolted awake in annoyance, “what the—“ He was met by the sight of Sakusa walking away with a sports drink in hand, identical to the one on Atsumu’s lap. Atsumu smiled lightly at the gesture before taking a huge drink from the bottle. His body reveled in the electrolytes it contained, feeling as if he was in a cheesy drink commercial. This was exactly what he needed. Atsumu wiped his lip and turned back to Bokuto who was staring at him with a knowing grin, “somethin on my face?”

A larger smile spread on Bokuto’s face as he wiggled a large eyebrow, “what's with you two?”

Atsumu was genuinely confused, “huh?”

Bokuto’s smile didn’t waiver as he voiced his detailed analysis, “you and Omi! First you kiss him last night, then you come in together this morning, and now he’s bringing you gifts! He didn’t bring ME a drink, and don’t think I believe for a second those are Omi’s shorts! You’re the only one that owns shorts that short, look at him, he keeps tugging them down!” Bokuto ends his argument with an uncontrollable laugh.

Atsumu’s mouth drops open as the previous night flooded his memory, _I KISSED OMI_. Atsumu could feel the embarrassment on his face. _When did Bokkun become Sherlock fucking Holmes?_ He tried playing off his red cheeks with a playful push to the spiker’s shoulder, “Bokkun yer a hoot, ya sure don’t miss anythin' do ya??” He let out a small chuckle, “It’s nothin though, he just helped me get home last night and I asked him to stay cause it was late, he slept in the guest room, nothing happened. And the shorts ain’t even that short! Plus, the drink’s probably cause he can’t let me die before I drive him home.”

Bokuto rolls his eyes in amusement, “what about the kiss?”

Atsumu nearly chokes, “it was just uh— drunk me excited about uh Omi agreeing to play smash with me.”

Bokuto bit his lip to stifle another laugh, “okay Tsum-Tsum, whatever you say.”

Bokuto finally drops it and Atsumu is finally able to catch his breath. His eyes search the gym and find Sakusa splayed on the floor stretching, he gulps, _I really have to take ya out on a date now. What would ya even like Omi? Why did ya agree? Should I call it off? I could say it was just the alcohol or a joke. That seems mean though, I think. It’s just a date right? He knows it was to help me with— fuck. Hinata! If even Bokkun thinks somethin’s up then there’s no way Shoyo hasn’t noticed too_. Atsumu’s eyes find Hinata sitting against the adjacent wall staring, Atsumu follows his gaze to see he’s staring at Sakusa. Atsumu turns back to Hinata and a second later Hinata meets his gaze. Hinata’s eyes widen and a dust of pink spreads over his cheeks. Atsumu chuckles, _cute_. _So ya have noticed then. its working. This is it. I’m goin' in_.

Atsumu drags his body up and walks over to Hinata with a grin, “what's on yer mind Sho-kun?”

Hinata’s cheeks feel hot as the setter takes a seat beside him, “nothing Atsumu-san, just tired.”

Atsumu took in the tired brown eyes staring into his and felt the guilt from his decisions creep over him. He tried to keep his voice steady, “m’sorry, fer the way I acted yesterday.”

Hinata dropped his gaze, “I’m the one that should be sorry.”

Atsumu’s heart shrank, he hated seeing the usually cheerful Hinata so down, he reaches out to squeeze his shoulder, “hey, let’s not do that right now okay? I’m not mad at ya and I don’t want ya to apologize anymore. Can we uh talk about this later?”

Hinata meets his eyes. Atsumu gives him a half smile, “maybe over dinner this weekend? If yer still up for.. goin on a date with me?”

Hinata feels himself smile for the first time in what feels like forever, “okay.. that sounds good.” He can’t help but feel like he should ask what’s been bothering him all morning, "but uh Atsumu-san? What about you and— and Omi-san?”

Atsumu hears the faint sound of a record scratch and time freezes. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck me. This is not good. What the fuck do I say? I can only play it two ways: deny till I die, or tell the truth. Is my plan working though? He actually said yes to seein' me? If I tell the truth, will he change his mind? I can’t fuck up again, but I think it’s working, he cares... I have to go all in or mayb—_

Hinata clears his throat after staring at Atsumu who appeared to freeze for longer than comfortable, “Atsumu-san?”

Atsumu’s eyes widen, _fuck, play dumb_ , he clears his throat, “sorry Shoyo-kun, what do ya mean?”

Hinata shifts uncomfortably, _just ask_ , “are you and Omi-san uh dating?”

A smile spreads across Atsumu’s face, _he totally cares. Fuck it, in going all in_ , “oh Omi-kun? I mean we have a date comin' up one of these days but now so do you and me. Ya don’t mind, do ya? Or do ya want me all fer yerself?”

Hinata's stomach swirls with a mix of jealousy and embarrassment, “I don’t want to overstep... if you and Omi-san are serious I—“

“No!! No, no, no!” Atsumu panics, “no don't ya worry, it’s not serious, he won’t mind, it’s more of a _friends_ thing... we’re all friends here ain’t we? Let’s do Saturday, okay?”

Hinata giggles at the stressed expression on the setter’s face, “okay, Atsumu. Then I’d love to spend some time together.”

Atsumu’s features soften at the sound of his name surrounded by giggles and the smile that finally brightens up Hinata’s face. He gives his most dazzling smile, “ya won’t regret it.”

On the other side of the gym, Sakusa does his best to keep still. Forcing his body to hold itself in position, even though every cell in his body wants to turn towards the stupid blonde and where he’s sitting next to Hinata. _Ignore it, it’s not your business. Why are they laugh— stop. Not your business._ He continues his stretching and does his best to shove away the mental image of Atsumu’s obnoxious smile.

...

The rest of practice is over quickly, Coach Foster gives them an annoyed speech about expectations for tomorrow and the next couple of weeks leading up to their game against the Adlers. He lets everyone leave early since it was clear they were in no condition to play at their best. Everyone is apologetic but very thankful to be put out of their misery.

Both Sakusa and Atsumu skips showers and head to the parking lot. Sakusa is quiet but Atsumu assumes he’s tired and tries not to disrupt him until they’re sitting in his car in silence. Sakusa quietly types his address into his phone and plays the map directions out loud for Atsumu to follow. It’s a 20 minute drive, just 8 minutes past his own home. They sit in silence, surrounded only by the low lull of music coming from the speakers and Atsumu humming along quietly. Sakusa lays his head back in the seat and closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep. Atsumu wants to fill the silence with words, he wants to share the news with someone. _Would Omi care? Should I thank him? Hinata’s payin' more attention to me and agreed to keep our date. Should I give Omi an out? Tell him he doesn’t need to hang out with me anymore cause things are right on track? He’d be relieved right?_

When he stops in front of Sakusa’s apartment building he clears his throat, “Omi-kun?”

Sakusa hums.

“Ya remember the date we were gonna go on?”

Sakusa opens his eyes and tenses, “yes.”

Atsumu shifts to face him surprised to find Sakusa is already staring at him, “well I don’t know if ya saw but things are going okay with Hinata, so we don’t have to—“

“What day are we going?” Interrupts Sakusa with a deadpan stare.

Atsumu chuckles, “that’s what I’m tryin to tell ya Omi, we don’t need—“

“Friday works for me, 7pm.” Sakusa interrupts again, more forcefully.

Atsumu stares at him in confusion but nods his head, “okay Omi-Omi, I’ll pick ya up at 7. Uh any requests?”

Sakusa pouts thoughtfully, “nothing too crowded. Some place clean. Don’t be late. That’s all.”

Atsumu chuckles, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Sakusa nods and leaves the car leaving Atsumu to sit with his thoughts, _that was kinda weird. Fuck. Now I have to actually plan a couple of dates. Maybe Samu can help_.

...

Sakusa drags his feet all the way up to his apartment. As soon as he’s inside, he slides down with his back on the door. _What the fuck is wrong with me? He was obviously trying to cancel the date. He tried to do it twice. Why the fuck would I pretend I didn’t understand? For what? To go on a date with Miya?? That’s the last thing I’d want to do on a Friday night? Isn’t it?? What the fuck? There has to be a logical explanation... It’s just something that has to be done. I had already said I would and now I have to do it. I can’t leave this halfway done. That’s it. That’s why I was compelled to do it. I’m sure he knows that too. I don’t have to explain myself. We made an agreement and we’re just sticking to it, that’s it. That’s. It._

He shakes his head, trying to convince himself he’s not ignoring a completely different feeling blossoming deep inside him. _Fuck_.

...

**Friday Arrives**

Things are finally starting to get back to normal for the team. Nobody mentions any of the events from the party and practice flows the way it did before. No one talks more than usual, Sakusa left practice for the day without confirming that Atsumu was still picking him up later. _He’s not a child. We made an agreement, it’s up to him whether he keeps it if not, I’m not going to remind him. We’re doing this for him anyway_.

Sakusa now finds himself standing in front of a full length mirror in his third outfit change after his shower. _What do I even wear to something like this? When I don’t know what we will be doing. This is ridiculous, I’m just going to cancel._

That was the 5th time since he’s started getting ready that he considered cancelling. The first came when his hair wasn’t cooperating with him after his shower. The second when he swore his skin looked oily, and the rest following each change of clothes he tried on but hated the thought of leaving his house to meet Atsumu in.

Sakusa had been on a few dates before but he always took part in planning them, the idea of the unknown and being at the entire mercy of someone else’s decisions terrified him. Sakusa checked the temperature forecast for the evening once again and decided on a final outfit change. He wore black pants, a black turtle neck, and a mid length grey coat that would keep him warm but not hot. He fought the urge to change again after checking the time, _6:53. There’s no time_. He went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water. _What if he’s late? Or... What if he doesn’t show? What do I do then? He had been trying to cancel anyway. Maybe that’s why he didn’t confirm. Maybe I should have confirmed. Okay, what happens if he doesn’t show up? Nothing. I can just change and stay in like I like to do. Like I want to do. Like I would prefer to do anyway. Exactly, I wanted to stay home today, we’re doing this for him. But... What if he doesn’t show up?_

He’s about to sit on the couch when his phone rings displaying “ _Miya_.” Sakusa feels his chest tighten, _he’s calling to cancel._ He clears his throat to collect himself and a trembling finger accepts the call, “Hello?”

Atsumu rushes when he speaks, “Omi-Omi! I’m here, I’d go get ya at the door but this place is huge and I don’t know where ya actually live. For the record, I argued with this guy at the front desk for a while but he said no when I asked him for yer apartment number because of _priiiivacy_ or some shit. So point is, get yer ass down here before I’m considered late to pickin' ya up.” _Click_.

A large smile spreads across Sakusa’s face. _What an idiot. He’s actually early, that’s cu— good that’s good, I don’t have to be annoyed at that_ _then_. He looks at his reflection one last time and adjusts his black mask before going down to meet Atsumu.

He finds Atsumu eyeing the front desk staff before he meets his eyes and smiles, "Omi-Omi! Tell this paranoid guy I’m perfectly safe, tell him I’m a good guy! Tell him!”

Sakusa rolls his eyes at the whiny blonde and turns to the personnel, “it’s okay Haruki-kun, no need to call the police on this one, at least for today. I appreciate your discretion.”

Atsumu notices the blush that spreads over Haruki’s face when Sakusa looked at him and felt a sudden urge to punch the stranger. _Kissass_. He did the next best thing he could think of that would earn him attention, he grabs Sakusa’s coat sleeve and pulls him forward. _Scrub_. Atsumu spoke louder than necessary, clearly so Haruki could hear, “Come on Omi-kun! You’ve kept yer date waitin' long enough!”

Sakusa grunted in annoyance but followed. The temperature felt slightly colder than he expected, Atsumu pulled him towards a small beat up truck. Sakusa was confused, “where’s your car?”

Atsumu chuckled as he opened the passenger side door for him, “this is Samu’s, I asked him to borrow it for tonight. Don’t ya worry, I cleaned it, even got it detailed, ya shoulda seen the look on the car wash guy’s face!”

Sakusa stepped inside and watched Atsumu jog around to the other side. The inside of the truck was spotless and cozy, it smelled faintly like leather though there was no leather in sight.

Sakusa buckled himself in after Atsumu was inside and turned on the truck, “why do we need a truck?”

Atsumu smiles, “you’ll see, its a surprise.”

Sakusa groans, “I don’t like surprises.”

Atsumu chuckles and starts to pull out of the parking spot, “Well that wasn’t on yer request list. Plus, this one’s not so bad. Just relax. If ya don’t like anythin' you can just tell me and we can leave.”

Sakusa pouts slightly under his mask, “what are we doing?”

Atsumu doesn’t look at him but sticks his tongue out in Sakusa’s direction, “not tellin', now stop poutin'”

Sakusa flinches, _how did he know?_

...

They drive for a while, away from the city. Sakusa does his best to relax, he takes the time to look at Atsumu who looks like he’s never had a worry in the world. He’s unbothered and carefree as he sings along to the songs he plays, songs Sakusa has never heard but actually likes. He’s taken a mental note of some of the lyrics so he can look them up later, he’d rather die than ask Atsumu what the titles are and admit his taste in music is decent. _I wonder what Atsumu’s thinking, is he taking this seriously? We’ve been driving for a while and there are less lights out here. Is this how I die? At the hands of an idiot getting us lost?_

Atsumu looks over at Sakusa who’s still staring, “Relax Omi-kun, we’re almost there. M’not gonna kill ya.”

Sakusa’s eyes widen, _was I thinking out loud? How the fuck does he know what I’m thinking?_

Atsumu chuckles and continues to drive, now through dirt roads he could never take his car on, “besides, if somethin' happened to ya m’sure yer precious _Haruki-kun_ would kill me.”

Sakusa can’t help the sinister smile that spreads across his covered face, “jealous?”

Atsumu gapes like he’s been accused of an unforgivable crime, “of course I’m not! I’d never be jealous of a scrub like that!”

Sakusa’s amusement is evident in his tone, “if you say so. Haruki-kun is pretty cute though, handsome even. And isn’t he sweet?”

Atsumu huffs out his words, “how would I know?? I mean I guess, if yer into that kind of _kiss ass_ behavior! What would you even do with a guy like that?? You’d eat him alive!”

“Isn’t that the point?” Challenges Sakusa.

Atsumu’s eyes double in size causing Sakusa to snort when he laughs. Atsumu feels heat in his cheeks but laughs at the ridiculous noise that came from such a beautiful man.

A few minutes later Atsumu stops the truck in what appears to be an empty field at first glance. Sakusa shifts and looks out the window, seeing nothing but darkness now that the truck’s lights are off. “Miya, what are we doing out here?”

Atsumu gives him a reassuring smile, “just give me five minutes and I’ll tell ya. Wait here, no peakin'!”

Sakusa nods hesitantly.

“Pinky promise?” Atsumu demands with a shove of his outstretched finger towards the spiker.

Sakusa gulps but meets the pinky with his own, “my pinky promises.”

Atsumu laughs like his life depended on it, “yer hilarious Omi-Omi. I’ll come get ya when it’s ready.”

Sakusa is left alone in the cabin of the truck and feels the truck shift when Atsumu jumps into the truck bed. Sakusa starts to count to 300 and takes in his surroundings to calm the anxiety bubbling inside him. _I can see that it’s actually not that dark out here now that my eyes are used to it. I can smell leather and the shampoo Miya uses. I can feel my soft coat. I can hear Miya cursing outside. I can taste my toothpaste. I’m fine. This is fine. Miya really took the no crowds thing seriously I guess. What an idiot._

There’s a light tap on the glass before Atsumu opens the door for him, “okay s’all ready Omi-kun, come on.”

Sakusa steps out tentatively, it’s colder now than it was when he left his apartment. Atsumu grabs his coat sleeve and drags him towards the back of the truck. Sakusa’s eyes finally meet what Atsumu was hiding, he stares at it in silence. Atsumu has set up a large cushion, pillows, and blankets in the, now literal, truck bed. There is a small crank light shining on a picnic basket. Atsumu jumps up onto the truck bed with confidence and holds a hand out to Sakusa who takes it and follows less gracefully. He follows Atsumu’s example and takes off his shoes before sitting next to Atsumu who was already patting the open space beside him. Their backs rest on pillows pushed against the cabin of the truck.

Sakusa is still in awe taking in the set up, “What is all this?”

Atsumu checks his watch and smiles, “I was thinkin' we could keep things classic and do dinner and a movie. This ain’t dinner though, that comes later. These are just snacks, I didn’t know what ya preferred so I brought everythin' I could think of...”

Sakusa stares at Atsumu again, “movie?”

Atsumu grins and points in the direction they are facing. As if on cue, a light is projected onto a large screen that appeared invisible in the dark, “ya ever been to a drive in movie Omi-Omi?”

Sakusa shakes his head quietly.

Atsumu is suddenly self conscious about his choice and begins to ramble an explanation, “ya said no crowds so I figured ya wouldn’t like a movie theater on a Friday night? I thought the truck would make it more of a complete experience ya know? Give a better view of everything compared to my car, more space. The truck’s clean, so are all the blankets and stuff I swear. I even disinfected the snacks from the store. I didn’t think it’d be this cold out here though, m’sorry. I brought extra blankets and some tea to keep ya warm, or I can give ya my jacket... But if ya don’t like it we can go somewhere el—“

“It’s perfect.” Sakusa interrupts, “I’ve always wanted to go to one, I’ve only ever seen this kind of thing in movies.”

Atsumu’s cheeks dusted pink, all he could manage was a smile.

Sakusa watched quietly as cars began to join them in the lot, still keeping their distance, leaving them alone.

“What movie are we watching?”

Atsumu started digging in the basket, “s’called 10 Things I Hate About You, they were playin other movies on different screens but based on what Komori-kun said, about ya likin old romcoms, I thought ya might like this one the most out of all the ones playin tonight.”

Sakusa’s mouth dropped open, “you talked to Komori?”

Atsumu’s face went red, “yeah... I wanted to see what kinda movies ya liked.”

Sakusa pouts, “you could’ve asked me.”

“Woulda ruined the surprise... is it okay?” Atsumu asks with worry filled eyes.

Sakusa has the urge to soothe the hesitance in the blonde’s voice, “mmhm, it’s actually one of my favorites.”

Atsumu sighs in relief and hands him a small thermos filled with tea that immediately warms his hands, “good, I’ve never seen it. The name doesn’t sound very romantic but the lead guy looked pretty hot online so it’s worth a shot.”

Sakusa finally takes down his mask to take a sip of his drink, a perfectly balanced chamomile tea with honey and lime. He licks the remains from his lips and looks up to find Atsumu staring at him in anticipation, “it’s good.”

The smile that shines on Atsumu’s face makes Sakusa’s heart swell, he looks away, looking for a distraction. The opening trailers have started.

Atsumu unfolds a large blanket and drapes it over Sakusa’s legs, “Are ya cold Omi-kun?”

Sakusa is thankful for the thick blanket, he was trying not to shake, “a bit, what about you?”

Atsumu’s shakes his head, “n-nah.” His teeth betray him and chatter.

Sakusa rolls his eyes and lifts the large blanket, silently inviting Atsumu to join him. Atsumu doesn’t hesitate and scoots closer to Sakusa until he’s under the blanket. He takes a drink from his own thermos then rubs his hands together, “thanks Omi-Omi! This is way better!”

Sakusa manages to give him a small nod. He faces forward towards the screen and stays as still as possible. He’s no longer cold, the fire that’s coming from where their thighs are now touching makes him want to jump back. He is trying to ignore the warmth spreading over his entire body, every single brain cell screaming at him to make sure he knows they are touching, like he could ever _not_ notice.

Atsumu is digging in the basket again, “what kinda snack ya want?”

Sakusa shrugs slightly, “anything is fine.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes, “healthy or unhealthy?”

Sakusa purses his lips, “healthy first.”

Atsumu hands him a container filled with a variety of fruit cut into shapes like hearts and stars. A small smile forms on Sakusa’s lips, _who does this?_

Atsumu eats out of a large bag of cheesy chips, skipping the healthy snacks, every now and then he’ll ask Sakusa to toss a piece of strawberry or watermelon in his mouth but he prefers the endless amount of chips and candy in his magic basket. Sakusa never tosses the fruit, just places it swiftly in his mouth from as close as he can without touching the other. He can feel his face heat when Atsumu asks for another, _it almost feels like he’s doing it on purpose._

The fire from where their thighs met slowly lowered to a bearable source of heat, he didn’t forget it was there but he no longer wanted to pull away. It was almost pleasant. They only eat during the previews but the basket ends up almost empty, Atsumu eating the majority but Sakusa helping with the sour candy and a couple of chips he was forced to try by a relentless Atsumu.

They fell into a comfortable silence just in time for the movie to begin. Atsumu reaches to turn off the crank light and Sakusa shifts at the loss of contact. When Atsumu returns to where he was sitting almost his whole side touches his date. He doesn’t seem to notice the way Sakusa does. The latter feels like he’s burning, like every hair on his body is standing on end, electricity surges through him.

He watches a dumbfounded Atsumu take in the opening scene to one of his favorite movies. Sakusa has seen this movie a hundred times, he knows every scene, every line, every emotion it brings out of him each time he watches. But this time was different, watching Atsumu watch his favorite movie was like seeing it again for the first time. At first he tried to be subtle about it, watching only out of the corner of his eye, but by the end of the movie he stared more openly at the completely oblivious man he couldn’t keep his eyes off of. Taking in Atsumu’s full hearted laughs, wishful sighs, and sincere tears made Sakusa’s heart stutter. He laughed when he laughed, sighed when he sighed, and cried when he cried. It took everything in him to shut down the urge to wipe away the tears that stained Atsumu’s cheeks after Kat reads her poem. _I know how you feel_. He settled with wiping his own cheek and took in every ounce of Atsumu’s face, memorizing the way he fully expressed every emotion before he switched to the next. It wasn’t until Atsumu met his eyes that he realized the movie was over. Sakusa jumped back a bit, embarrassed to have been caught looking at the setter. Atsumu wipes his cheeks and spoke quickly, “Omi-Omiiiii that was _soooo_ good! It’s was a rollercoaster of emotions! I have to say I didn’t expect much from a romcom but that shit was actually hilarious _AND_ made me cry! Best of both worlds. Oh! _AND_ I think I’m in love with Patrick, that smile?? The hair?? Sign me up.”

Sakusa let out a sincere giggle and smiled, finding Atsumu’s excited review endearing, “I’m glad you liked it.”

Atsumu’s eyes lingered on Sakusa’s face for a moment surprised at the smile it held before he began to get up after checking his watch, “well Omi-kun we should get goin', we still have to drive back and then get dinner if yer still up fer it.”

Sakusa nodded, “of course.”

Atsumu refused to let Sakusa help him pack things up. Instead putting him in charge of starting the truck so it could warm up and setting up a playlist for the journey home. As Sakusa scrolled through his favorite songs he felt a sudden sense of respect for Atsumu who now seemed braver than the marines. Sakusa loved his music, he knew the songs he listened to were good because that’s why he listened to them. But there was still something about sharing the songs he loved so much with someone else that made him feel vulnerable and self conscious. That’s how he had felt about the movie, if Atsumu wouldn’t have liked one of his favorite movies or would have made fun of it, Sakusa wouldn’t have known what he would have done or said. That was part of why seeing Atsumu enjoy it so much had made him feel so... _warm_.

Atsumu finally joined him in the cabin. He glanced over at Sakusa who was staring at his phone and laughed, “don’t overthink it! Just play whatever ya like listenin' to, m’sure it’s great.”

The drive back into town is peaceful, Sakusa plays his favorite songs and notices the slight signs from Atsumu telling him if he likes it or not. He smiles when Atsumu taps his finger along or bobs his head, there are a few he even mumbles the chorus to making Sakusa feel more at ease.

...

They arrive to Onigiri Miya just as Osamu is locking the door. Atsumu honks and jumps out quickly yelling for his brother to wait, Sakusa waits in the truck and hears them bicker.

“Why’d ya take so long? I was about to walk home in the cold”

“Well DAMN SAMU I can’t control the weather! The movie ran later than I thought! And yer damn truck doesn’t go faster than the speed limit! Ow!! Stop hittin’ me! Omi’s watchin!”

“Yer an idiot.”

“Can I still use the place? Pleaaaase Saaaamu?”

“Ya better clean up. If anythin’s outa place when I open tomorrow, Yer dead.”

“Thanks Samu!”

They exchange keys and Atsumu opens the door for Sakusa to step out. Osamu smiles at him politely before getting in his truck, “Good night Kiyoomi-kun.”

Sakusa mirrors his smile, “Good night Osamu-kun.”

Atsumu shrieks, “What the—?? Why the hell do ya call me Miya then??”

Osamu ignores his brother and leaves Sakusa to suffer Atsumu’s complaints alone. Atsumu unlocks the door to let themselves in and locks it behind them. The restaurant is quiet and clean, it smells like cleaning products. Atsumu pulls Sakusa by his coat sleeve to the bar top looking into the kitchen. He pulls a stool down for Sakusa and gestures for him to sit. Sakusa takes the seat and watches Atsumu play with the lights until only the ones in the kitchen are on. They are bright enough to reach the bar top but none of the rest of the restaurant. Sakusa sits in the small island provided by the light, surrounded by the ocean of darkness. He watches as Atsumu washes his hands then begins to shape Onigiri, it all feels very intimate. Sakusa excuses himself to wash his hands and freak out in the bathroom over how thoroughly Atsumu had washed his own and why he wasn’t having a terrible time.

Atsumu is thankful his brother left ready ingredients for him, _probably more to minimize mess than to be nice but still, yer the best Samu_. _I guess I owe ya a lot for today, ya really came through._ He prepares Onigiri like a pro, _Samu would be proud,_ and is already seated when Sakusa returns.

Atsumu smiles proudly when he sees Sakusa’s surprised face, “beer okay?”

Sakusa nods, thanks him for the food, and takes his seat, reaching for the bottle.

Atsumu hands it to him, “I already cleaned it but there are some wipes on the counter if ya need.”

Sakusa purses his lips and thinks before he decides what his next question should be, “why do you pull me by my sleeve all the time?”

Atsumu takes a bite of onigiri and answers thoughtfully, “well ya don’t like germs or bein touched right? I don’t wanna make ya uncomfortable, but I also want ya to follow me. So I figured it was a good compromise.”

Sakusa reaches for an onigiri, “Well.. I— I appreciate the... effort you have made to have everything clean today.” He takes a breath and continues quietly, “But you don’t have to do so much. Yes, I prefer things clean... the way anyone else would. But I’m not going to faint if you hand me an un-sanitized bottle of beer... it’s not as big a deal as it may seem. I live the same as everyone else for the most part. So you don’t have to deep clean everything and it’s okay if you touch me, honestly, you stretching out my coat would be more bothersome. But I just thought you should know that. So... you don’t feel like you have to do so much for me. It’s not necessary. I’m okay.”

Atsumu looks at him softly and pats him hesitantly on shoulder, “ya should eat Omi-kun. And fer the record, it wasn’t too much. I just did what I thought ya would like, no inconvenience at at. I’m glad ya feel comfortable tellin' me tho, so if I ever do somethin ya don’t like just tell me.”

Sakusa’s lips curl at the ends slightly, “you could stop calling me by that ridiculous nickname.”

Atsumu laughs so hard his eyes water, “anythin' but that Omi-Omi.” He bumps his shoulder into Sakusa playfully, “besides, I think ya don’t hate it as much as ya say you do.”

Sakusa blushes and takes a sip of his beer, “you’re an idiot.”

Atsumu smiles, “I like that ya kept yer mask off, I like seeing yer face, it’s easier to see what yer thinkin. By the way, ya look really nice tonight Omi-kun, like always.”

Sakusa flinches, his eyes go wide and he blushes to his ears, “shut up.”

Atsumu chuckles, “Yer kinda like a cat Omi-Omi, yer always jumpy or grumpy.”

Sakusa rolls his eyes, “I prefer dogs.”

“No way!” Atsumu beams.

Sakusa finally takes a bite of his onigiri, it’s delicious. He’s pleasantly surprised to find umeboshi inside, he looks to Atsumu who is staring expectantly, “it’s delicious.”

Atsumu gave him a smile worthy of toothpaste commercials, “I thought I remembered ya liked it that way, from an interview or somethin.”

Sakusa feels warmth in his chest, _when the hell did Atsum— Miya get so considerate?_ He takes another bite to mask his smile.

They fall into easy conversation and eat more onigiri than they’d like to admit, Atsumu has to make a second batch. It feels easy, maybe because no one is around. Though they don’t know each other inside and out, they are both honest and thoughtful when it comes to responding.

“I wouldn’t have thought ya liked romantic comedies Omi-Omi. And old ones at that!”

“The new ones aren’t as good, my sister moved out when I was still pretty young. She loved movies and left a lot of them in her childhood bedroom so I eventually went through and watched all of them. I like movies a lot, but I hate movie theaters so I would just rewatch movies at home a lot so everything I watched was pretty dated. Now steaming makes things easier so I watch things pretty close to their release dates but I don’t usually like the movies as much.”

...

“Ya played a lot of love songs in the car.”

“So did you.”

“Wh— yeah but yers were like love-love songs. Mine are like good songs that just _happen_ to be about love. Like mine are happier and the beats are the main character, it’s about the vibe not the love.”

“Whatever.”

...

“Did ya ever read twilight?”

“Did you?”

“Duh! I’m a man of culture, team Jacob till I die. Stop laughin'!”

“I actually read it too, Edward was the superior character.”

“Like hell he was!”

...

“Ya like anime too?”

“I do.”

“What’s yer favorite?”

“Mmm I like a lot of things, anything with good fights usually keeps me engaged. My favorites are a bit older like Naruto, HxH, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Deathnote.”

“Damn Omi-Omi, you kinda watch a lot of tv.”

“Outside of volleyball, I stay in a lot so maybe that’s why.”

“Ya know, yer pretty cool. We should hang out outside the gym more.”

Sakusa could feel his heartbeat in his ears, “okay.”

Atsumu smiles, “m’sure the guys would love to get to know ya more! We always hang out weekends, ya should come.”

The disappointment is heavy in his chest, _obviously that’s what he meant_ , “okay.”

Atsumu is focused on Sakusa’s face, “Wait! Omi hold on.” He reaches for something on Sakusa’s cheek. Sakusa holds his breath as the rough fingers pinch softly below his eye. Atsumu pulls away holding a dark eyelash between his thumb and index finger, “make a wish and blow it away! But don’t say it out loud so it comes true.”

Sakusa glances at Atsumu’s excited eyes then back at the eyelash waiting in front of him. _I wish you wanted to spend time with me the way I want to spend time with you_ , he blows the eyelash away swiftly.

“What’d ya wish for?”

“Didn’t you say I couldn’t say it out loud?”

“Ugh, fine.”

...

They finish eating and Atsumu begins to clean the place up. They leave the restaurant exactly as they found it and exit through the back door. Atsumu’s car is waiting in the back meant for unloading shipments. As Sakusa buckles in Atsumu reaches into the backseat. He pulls out a small bouquet of pink peonies held together by a white satin ribbon, “These are yers Omi-kun.”

Sakusa’s mouth drops open and he takes the flowers in his hands. This is the first time anyone outside of his family has ever gotten him flowers, they are beautiful, “th-thank you.”

“Surprised, ain’t ya?” Atsumu laughs, “I waited till the end of the date so ya wouldn’t have to carry them around the whole time, and the weather was perfect, they stayed cool in my car. I really think of everythin’ don’t I??”

Sakusa is the same color as the flowers, he smiles wide and actually giggles at Atsumu’s self-proclaimed thoughtfulness, “I guess you do.”

Atsumu blushes for a moment and shifts his attention to music selection. The car warms up quickly and Atsumu chatters mindlessly the entire drive to Sakusa’s apartment, fueled my quiet hums and nods from the spiker. Sakusa shifts his gaze between his flowers and the man who gifted them. _He can’t be real. Why would he— Why would he do all of this? He’s something straight out of a movie… Who knew Atsumu was such a romantic… I had no idea he could be so… sweet._ Sakusa feels his pulse race, his heart is beating erratically in his chest and for once it means he is happy, its been so long since he has felt this comfortable with someone. A part of him hopes that Atsumu feels the same. He’s been trying to give Atsumu as many verbal affirmations as he could, knowing that Atsumu needed and liked constant reassurance. He hoped he gave him enough, it was something he wasn’t used to and was still learning but he tried his absolute best that night. _I hope he noticed._

When they are finally in front of his building Sakusa reaches for the door handle. Before he can reach it, he feels Atsumu grab his other arm softly and freezes.

Sakusa turns to look at the setter who looks like he’s thinking of what to say next. Sakusa gives him a small smile, “thank you for everything, I had a great time.”

Atsumu’s eyes are filled with questions, “really? Do you mean it?”

Sakusa hums, “yes, it was very nice.”

“Is there anything you would change?”

Sakusa stares at Atsumu as he replays the night and realizes he would never change a single thing about Atsumu, “no, it was perfect.”

A feeling of relief smooths Atsumu’s expression, “do— do you think Shoyo-kun would like it?”

Sakusa’s breath is knocked out of his lungs, his chest is tight as his heart cracks. His mouth tastes bitter.

“Omi-kun?”

Reality brings him back, _we’re here for him. So he can be with Hinata. That’s all it was._ He clears his throat of any emotion fighting its way forward, “I think _anyone_ would enjoy an evening like this one.”

The smile Atsumu gives him next is the final blow to Sakusa’s crumbling composure, “thank you for helpin' me today Omi-kun, yer a lot of fun.”

Sakusa gives him a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, “anytime.” He puts his mask back on, “thank you again. Have a good night.”

Sakusa pulls his arm free and opens the car door to step out quickly.

“Omi-Omi?”

Sakusa slouches slightly to look back into the car, trying his best to ignore the tiny grain of hope keeping his heart from disintegrating, “yes?”

“Do ya think ya could send me the songs ya played tonight? Please? They were perfect.”

That was it, _this is how I break._ The hope was dead, his heart gone. He manages a brief nod and closes the door as Atsumu said “Thanks Omi-Omi! Yer the best, goodn—“

Sakusa felt empty as he walked away, _everything you shared with me was just an experiment, a practice run, a trial and error for the real thing... and now... now you want my songs too... the songs I shared with you... to share with someone else. Fuck. Why did I agree to this?_ _Was there ever any possibility it wouldn’t have ended this way? Did the dream really have to reveal itself so soon, it’s true identity a nightmare beyond my imagination. I knew it, I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that kind of stuff only happened in movies. This isn’t a movie. And if it was, I’m not and could never be the main character... I’m not the one who gets the guy. The second lead never gets the guy, never gets the happy ending. Never_.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did this hurt you the way it hurt me? 
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience and understanding. I hope the chapter was worth the wait, I tried making it extra long since it was such a long wait. I appreciate you guys for still reading. Your comments and kudos keep me going.   
> Let me know what you think :) my twitter is @stayvgolden <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>


	12. Love will Grow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata takes a last deep breath and opens the door swiftly. His nerves melt away when his eyes meet droopy honey colored eyes and the warm smile that greets him.  
> “Hiya Shoyo-kun!” Atsumu greets cheerfully.  
> A smile spreads over his own face as he steps out and closes the door behind him, “Hi, Atsumu-san.”  
> Atsumu’s sweet smile morphs into a smirk, and he grabs Hinata’s arm to hook around his own. Hinata follows easily as Atsumu walks them down the steps, “Call me Atsumu, or Tsumu, or baby, or honey, whatever you want. But enough with the honorifics okay?”  
> He turns towards the shorter man and bites his lip to hold in a laugh when he sees how red Hinata is. Hinata clears his throat to push back the internal panic, “ o-okay… Atsumu.”  
> Atsumu gives him a cheeky smile as he opens the passenger door to Osamu’s truck as dramatically as he can, “there ya go, music to my ears.”
> 
> Or:  
> Atsumu and Hinata finally have their date  
> Sakusa makes a questionable decision  
> Hinata, Kenma, Kuroo, Akaashi, and Bokuto meet for a boozy brunch and talk about love languages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: chapter is 12.3k+ words.   
> (I am sorry, this is another chapter I should have split up but I just didn't consider it when I posted it. You know what they say, hindsight is 20/20) 
> 
> Here is a playlist for this ship that just felt right: [AtsuHina](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/66PRt7CdO5KYXYhcgStkhI?si=i0HCWfViQLCzM2W_00VP2Q)
> 
> I apologize in advanced for any point of view mistakes or switching between past and present tense, I be tired.

Sakusa walked into his apartment building clutching the front of his coat to prevent himself from falling apart. His thoughts were so loud he didn’t hear Haruki calling after him until he felt a light tap on his shoulder

A hesitant voice woke him up from his walking nightmare, “Are you feeling okay, Sakusa-kun?”

Sakusa mustered up a polite tone, “Yes, thank you. Just a little tired.”

Haruki gave him a concerned smile, “did your date go okay?”

Sakusa let out a painful chuckle, “It was _not_ a date. Just an asshole from work who asked me to help him with something. It’s done now though.”

Haruki pressed his lips together unconvinced but respected Sakusa’s words, “Okay, well… let me know if you need anything. Have a good night.”

Sakusa gave him his thanks and headed to his apartment where he could finally allow himself to fall apart in peace.

…

**Saturday:**

Sakusa stared at the messages from Atsumu he had left unanswered:

**From: Miya, A.**

_> >Omi-Omi! Could you send me the names of the songs you played tonight?_

_> >Or do you have a playlist you were pulling them from?_

_> >Or you can just give me your username? _

_> >Omi? _

_> >Don’t tell me you’re already asleep! _

_> > Good morning Omi-kun! _

_> > I found a couple of songs but there were so many good ones I cant find _ _☹_ _Specially the one that goes like oooodudananana dada dadada dunanananadada dadadadadada happy now oooo lala lala la_

_> > I don’t remember the words though. _

_> > Pleaaaaase Omi-kuuuun_

_> > !!!!!! O-mean-kun!!!!_

Sakusa huffed in annoyance. In some insane way, he knew exactly which song Atsumu was asking about. _It’s not lala its “light on”, idiot. There’s no way I’m going to tell him. Am I just being petty? No. He should have listened more carefully, I was able to find all the songs he played that I liked, I didn’t even have to ask for any help. It’s not that difficult_. He left Atsumu on read and tried to forget why he had trouble sleeping.

…

**Later That Day: Kenma’s House**

Kenma laid on Hinata’s bed and watched his nervous friend stare at himself in the mirror, “you look good Sho.”

Hinata wore a maroon sweater, jeans, and some white converse, he bit his lip, “are you sure? I haven’t been on a date in a long time, I don’t know what to wear. Is this too casual?”

Kenma chuckled, “It doesn’t really matter what you wear, he already likes you.”

Hinata went red, “Yeah but he doesn’t _like like_ me, we are friends.”

“Friends who go on dates.” Kenma retorts.

“it’s _one_ date.” Hinata stuck out his tongue.

“I’m surprised you agreed to go.” Kenma said thoughtfully.

Hinata sighed, “if I’m being honest… me too.”

“You can still cancel, you know? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’ll tell him you’re not home. Or that I don’t give you permission to leave the house.”

Hinata let out a giggle, thankful that his friend could help calm his nerves, “thanks _dad._ I do want to go... I guess I’m just scared.” He walks over to his bed to lay beside his friend, deciding he would not let himself change again.

Kenma met his eyes, “what are you scared of?”

Hinata pursed his lips, “everything… I’m scared of Atsumu having a bad time. What if he doesn’t like me as much as he thinks he does? I feel like he thinks I’m this great person and what if the more alone time we spend, the more he realizes I’m not as great as he thought I was and— ow!”

Kenma flicks Hinata’s forehead, “you _are_ a great person. Plus, if you have a bad time then you know he’s not the one for you and that’s the end of it. No one dies, you meet someone else.”

Hinata gives him a small smile, “but… what if I have a good time?”

“So that’s what you’re scared of. Then you see him again, and again, and again, until he gets boring and you leave him. No one dies, you meet someone else. The point is the worst-case scenario isn’t the end of the world. Don’t be scared of being happy.”

“Is it really fair that I be happy? When every decision I make hurts someone? I can’t stand it.” Hinata whispers.

Kenma reaches to place a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “You would never hurt anyone on purpose. If you’re thinking about the letters again, you can’t blame yourself; it was Kuroo and me who said you should do it. If anything, its our fault. But regardless, no matter what mistakes you’ve made, everyone deserves to be happy. You’re not in charge of how others feel and you can’t change the past, no one can, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to be miserable or alone the rest of your life. And now there’s a guy on his way because he wants to go on a date with _you._ So it doesn’t look like you’ll be alone tonight.”

Hearing his friend’s words made a little bit of guilt evaporate, “thank you, Kenma. Again. You’re always keeping me from freaking out.”

The doorbell rings and interrupts their moment, Hinata jumps up from where he lays and visibly tenses, _phone, keys, wallet._ Kenma guides him out of the room and towards the door with as much care as he can and gives him one final shoulder squeeze before he walks away leaving a nervous Hinata to face his date. Hinata takes a last deep breath and opens the door swiftly. His nerves melt away when his eyes meet droopy honey colored eyes and the warm smile that greets him.

“Hiya Shoyo-kun!” Atsumu greets cheerfully.

A smile spreads over his own face as he steps out and closes the door behind him, “Hi, Atsumu-san.”

Atsumu’s sweet smile morphs into a smirk, and he grabs Hinata’s arm to hook around his own. Hinata follows easily as Atsumu walks them down the steps, “Call me Atsumu, or Tsumu, or baby, or honey, whatever you want. But enough with the honorifics okay?”

He turns towards the shorter man and bites his lip to hold in a laugh when he sees how red Hinata is. Hinata clears his throat to push back the internal panic, “ o-okay… Atsumu.”

Atsumu gives him a cheeky smile as he opens the passenger door to Osamu’s truck as dramatically as he can, “there ya go, music to my ears.”

Hinata lets out a small giggle and jumps inside. He buckles himself in as he watches Atsumu jog to the driver’s side. Only then does he realize he’s not in his usual car. Atsumu smiles at him as he buckles himself in, “Ready?”

Hinata gives him a small nod, “yes…” he watches as Atsumu expertly starts the truck and pulls onto the road, “did you get a new car?”

Atsumu lets out an amused laugh, “nah, m’more of a coup kinda guy, this is Samu’s. I just borrowed it today.” 

“oh,” Hinata cant resist the urge to ask, “why?”

Atsumu glances over and gives him a boyish smile, “that’s a surprise.”

Hinata feels his heart clench as he speaks softly, “I love surprises.”

Atsumu’s breath hitches, _this is a lot different than yesterday; I didn’t think he would say that_. He clears the nerves that have suddenly appeared in his throat, “mm well let’s hope you like this one.”

Hinata giggles at the awkward response. Seeing Atsumu nervous has given him newfound confidence, “I’m sure I will… since I get to spend time with you.”

Atsumu chokes on his spit, “mmm that’s perfect then.” He does his best to give a genuine laugh and turns his focus to start the playlist he had been working on for the long drive. It was not complete; he had added all the possible songs he could think of that told Hinata how he felt but there were many missing. He was only a little upset with Sakusa for not responding to any of his messages asking for the names of songs he had played the day before. Atsumu stayed up late typing in as many lyrics as he could remember into google but was only able to find a few of the songs. _I had been too focused on the beats to remember enough of the words. Omi’s so selfish fer not sharin’. He should be honored I basically said he had good taste. M’gonna bug him about it on Monday._

…

The long drive was over in a flash, Hinata no longer felt the same nervousness he did at home, he could do this. It didn’t have to be weird or awkward, he liked Atsumu and if Atsumu wanted to spend time with him then he would make the most of each moment. Atsumu’s music filled the small truck’s cabin joined by Atsumu singing along dramatically and Hinata singing along with too much confidence considering he didn’t know most of the words. They laughed when he would mess up and replace a lyric with random mumbles or the first words that popped into his head. It was comfortable and easy, like they spent long drives together all the time. Hinata couldn’t keep his eyes off the handsome man beside him, he took a thousand mental pictures. Atsumu drove with his right arm on the steering wheel and his left resting on the door comfortably, he would sometimes lean his head on that arm or run it through his hair expertly. He would look over at Hinata every few miles and give him a wicked grin or a quick wink when a song he loved would play. Hinata soaked it all in shamelessly, _there’s just something about watching Atsumu drive, is it this truck? Why does he look so hot right now? So manly… so strong... like the hot small-town guy in a movie… with the beautiful smile and blonde hair. This man is going to be the end of me… he’s too damn hot_.

They finally arrived in a dark field and Atsumu laughed to himself at how different of a reaction he got today than yesterday. The ever trusting Hinata didn’t bat an eyelash, he just agreed to wait patiently with a large smile and a thumbs up. _Cute_. Atsumu set up the truck bed with a few adjustments after learning from the night before, he brought more blankets and a string of dim decorative lights to leave on during the movie, _for the mood_. He smiled at himself before opening the passenger door for his date nervously.

Still, he feigned confidence, “Ready, ya didn’t miss me too much did ya?”

Hinata saw right through him and playfully challenged, “Actually, I did. What are we doing out here?”

Atsumu blushed, thankful for the dark of sundown. He gently raised a hand to cover Hinata’s eyes slowly and used the other to close the door before resting it on Hinata's shoulder. He led Hinata slowly to the back of the truck. Hinata could feel clammy fingers on his face that made him giggle. Atsumu positioned him directly in front of the open truck bed and leaned closer until his lips were next to Hinata’s ear. He whispered, “Ya ready?”

Hinata hummed and Atsumu released his hold.

Hinata’s eyes took in the beautiful layout eagerly, “woooaaaah Atsumu this is so beautiful!!”

Atsumu visibly relaxed as happiness flooded through his body, he watched an excited Hinata smile and jump up into the truck bed in an instant, kick off his shoes violently, and throw himself onto the cushion face-first with an laugh, “Atsumu this is so awesome!! You coming or what?”

Atsumu laughed and followed suit, falling next to Hinata with a laugh. They caught their breath as the large screen came to life in front of their eyes and Hinata let out an audible gasp, “I had no idea that was a screen! Is this a drive in?? Oh my God! I haven’t been to one since I was little!”

Atsumu smiled and raised his arm to check the time, “s’almost time, ya cold? Or hungry?”

Hinata’s stomach grumbled as if Atsumu had been talking to it directly. Hinata’s cheeks pinked and he nodded, “a little hungry, not too cold, it’s really nice out.”

Atsumu sat up and reached for his magic basket, “What kinda snacks ya like for movies?”

Hinata answered sweetly, “whatever you have is fine… but uhhh the unhealthier the better… anything cheesy or crunchy is fine.”

Atsumu chuckled, “a man after my own heart.”

They snacked comfortably and finished the entire basket of food during the opening trailers. Atsumu wondered where Hinata put all the food he ate and couldn’t help watching the chipmunk with orange hair stuff his cheek. Atsumu made fun of Hinata for crying at a two-minute-long trailer and earned himself a playful push.

“What are we watching?” Hinata finally asked.

“S’a movie called the Notebook. Ya seen it?”

Hinata shook his head, “what’s it about?”

“Love, or old people, I think. I’ve never seen it. But the reviews were good and the characters are pretty hot.” Atsumu explains.

Hinata giggles, “the old people?”

Atsumu winks mischievously, “them too.”

Atsumu reaches to turn off the crank light as the final announcement asking for a quiet audience appears on the screen. When he shifts back into his seat, he notices the lack of space between him and his date. _Did he scoot over?_ Atsumu did his best to act unaffected but he felt heat on his face. Focusing only as Hinata shivered slightly beside him, “cold?”

Hinata gave him a shy smile, “a little.”

Atsumu smiled in return, this was the moment he was waiting for. He reached for a blanket and laid it over both of their legs. Hinata wiggled in relief, and he adjusted the pillow behind him before settling into a flatter position. Atsumu followed his lead, laying side by side, eyes glued to the screen. As sweet music filled their ears and the image of nature filled the screen. Hinata held his breath, he could feel a delicious heat radiate from Atsumu’s body beside him. He tried to keep himself from succumbing to the desire in the pit of his stomach and sinking his body closer to this natural source of heat. He finally took a breath his body desperately needed and started to relax, _just breath. It’s just Atsumu you see him every day, just relax, focus on the movie_. Atsumu continued to panic internally _, fuck, he’s so close. Should I make a move? Pull him close… do the yawn and move my arm thing… shift myself closer… what would Samu do?_ Atsumu huffed to himself as he did his best to summon his inner Osamu, a familiar _Stop bein' a damn pervert_ rang through his head, _Got it Samu!_ He settled instead more comfortably with his arms at his sides and focused on the screen. The blonde guy on the screen was handsome and reminded him of himself.

Hinata giggled beside him as they watched the blonde guy named Noah dangle from a Ferris wheel, “that looks like something you’d do Atsumu.”

A large smile spread over his face, “I was actually just thinkin’ that… he’s pretty hot like me too ain’t he?”

Hinata blushed, and only hummed in agreement. Atsumu was about to poke fun at his date when he felt a warm hand brush beside his pinky and settle close by, just barely touching. Atsumu felt his heartbeat quicken as he decided to go for it. He shifted his hand into an inviting palm and wove their fingers together. They both pretended their heads weren’t exploding. It was a sweet gesture that seemed to electrify the nerves all over their bodies. They remained that way through most of the movie, which they both thoroughly enjoyed. Hinata’s heart was in shambles from the scenes on the screen and the beautiful man holding his hand in real life. They laughed, sighed, and cried together as the movie quickly became one of their favorites. Hinata made a mental note reminding himself to watch the movie again on his own when he could focus on it even more and cry at full capacity. Atsumu made a mental note to ask Sakusa if he’s seen this movie, hoping he hadn’t so he could put him on in exchange for the songs he showed him. Although their hands were tightly grasped together, they were only growing thirstier as the scenes went on. It suddenly didn’t feel like enough, the rest of their bodies were begging for more, but both were too shy to initiate anything else on their first outing like this. Instead, settling for light squeezes voicing emotions reflecting the scenes before them and gentle caresses from a calloused thumb rubbing circles into the back of Hinata’s hand. They didn’t move until the movie credits ended with both of their tear-filled eyes finally meeting, having bonded over the emotional rollercoaster of the movie and its bittersweet ending. Atsumu let his instincts guide his free hand up to wipe away the large tear falling from Hinata’s cheek causing Hinata to flush. His hand lingered on his cheek as his eyes memorized every feature of his face. Hinata closed his eyes in response to the touch for a few seconds before meeting Atsumu’s hooded eyes directly, leaning into his touch. Atsumu felt his greed swirling around his stomach asking for more, _kiss him_ , he swallowed back the urge and smiled playfully instead, finally removing his palm from Hinata’s face, “m’guessin’ ya liked the movie.”

Hinata smiled back and nodded, growing increasingly animated as he began telling Atsumu all about his favorite parts and the unexpected moments that surprised him as if Atsumu hadn’t just watched the same movie with him. Atsumu found it endearing and ended up gushing over his preferred scenes and they continued in a mutual fan panic until a grumble from Hinata’s stomach reminded them they still hadn’t had dinner. Atsumu laughs and gets up swiftly, pulling Hinata up by their still connected hands, “lets get some food into ya.”

Hinata giggles to hide the mild disappointment he feels from the loss of contact and hums in agreement. Although Atsumu asked Hinata to wait in the truck for him Hinata ignores the request and helps Atsumu pack up the truck bed. He ends up keeping one of the blankets to bring with him into the truck bed, wishing he had brought a jacket. The only downside to having the extra set of hands to help with the cleanup was that no one started the truck and they had to wait a while for it to warm up. The blanket proved helpful, Hinata shifted into the center of the long single seat and covered both their legs as they waited for heat to fill the small cab. Atsumu looked through his phone quickly and started a playlist he had been working on for their drive home.

Hinata interrupted his scrolling through the queue, “do you mind if I add some songs too?”

A slightly nervous smile spread on Atsumu’s face, “of course Sho! Just give me a sec.” He quickly changes the playlist name from _For Shoyo_ to _Bangers_ and hands his phone to his date.

Hinata eyes the playlist before deciding what to add. He decides to tease Atsumu with a playful smile as he adds his own music, “you sure have a lot of love songs for a playlist called _Bangers_.”

Atsumu’s cheeks heat, balanced only by a smirk spreading over his face, “depends on yer definition of bangers.”

Hinata gulps, at the wink Atsumu gives him and turns his attention back to the phone with a sheepish laugh. Atsumu shifts the truck into drive smugly causing Hinata to begin shifting back over to the passenger seat. Atsumu realizes this and places a hand on Hinata’s thigh, making the shorter man freeze. The blonde shifts back into park and explains his sudden panic, “stay, ya don’t have to move to the other end— there’s a seatbelt for the middle.” He fidgets in the seat cushions desperately hoping he is right. Hinata finds himself praying its true, growing more and more comfortable as the minutes go by. By some miracle there is a small waist only seat belt deep in the cushions which Atsumu slides over Hinata’s lap with a winning grin, “told ya.” 

Hinata finally takes a breath once Atsumu’s hands are back to the steering wheel. He does his best to keep his voice steady, “thank you.”

Atsumu playfully pushes their shoulders together before turning his attention back to leaving the long empty lot. They sit in loaded silence until the song changes and Hinata’s head perks up, “why does this sound familiar?”

Atsumu laughs like a kid, “I mean it is from one of the greatest soundtracks of all time.”

Hinata’s eyes go wide, “its this… from Tarzan??”

Atsumu nods in excitement and begins singing _Strangers Like Me_ word for word at the top of his lungs. Hinata laughs and quickly backs Atsumu up playing both air drums and guitar. They perform the entire song without shame and laugh hysterically when Atsumu ends his performance by saying, “Phil Collins really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and I’m thankful.” The rest of the ride back into town was filled with more musical performances and laughs. It felt quick and comfortable. Nearly perfect in Atsumu’s eyes, ruined only by his worse half. Atsumu had ignored all the text messages and threats Osamu had sent him, calling only when Osamu threatened to report his truck stolen, _dick_. He tried to keep his whining and begging at a minimum during his phone call so Hinata couldn’t tell how annoyed Osamu was. Instead, letting his brother verbally assault him for being late.

He bit his lip and did his best to calm his brother down:

_A: On my way now._

_O: Tsumu ya piece of human garbage, the world doesn’t revolve around yer selfish ass! Ya know how busy I was today?? M’tired!! Now I havta walk home on top of that!_

_A: I owe ya one Samu! Yer the best_

_O: Ya owe me way more than one_

_A: …. Okay yes, I owe ya three_

_O: Five_

_A: uuuuhhh 4?_

_O: M’serious. Five or I set the alarm system and ya can eat somewhere else._

_A: okay! Okay! Yes, whatever you want._

_O: Number 1: Clear your schedule tomorrow morning, yer having breakfast with Rin and me, ya better not complain or whine, bring fruit. I’ll tell ya my other conditions tomorrow mornin’_

_A: uuuuuuughhhhh okay, send me time and place, I’ll be there._

_O: don’t be late, dick._

_Click_

Atsumu rolled his eyes and sighs in frustration after losing a one-sided argument with his brother because he was trying to look composed in front of his date. He finally turns to meet curious eyes for a second before focusing back on the road. His voice was as playful as he could manage, “don’t ya worry, just Samu blackmailin’ me.”

That seemed to make Hinata feel slightly better, he gave Atsumu a comforting smile and leaned into his shoulder to playfully shove the pouting Atsumu. Atsumu’s frustration melted immediately and he turned up the music again. They continued their mobile concert and Atsumu admired his personal ray of light that could change his entire mood in an instant. _He’s magic ain’t he?_

…

Sakusa had tried keeping himself busy all day; he cooked, cleaned, washed, and worked out. Once his regular weekend to-do list was complete, he used his free time to start a new 1000 piece puzzle he had gotten as a gift from his older brother who had begun the tradition of gifting Sakusa puzzles of famous paintings for his birthdays and holidays. It was his brother’s way of combining their interests, this time Sakusa would be working on “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt, a piece he had never heard of. He started it the way he did all puzzles, by separating the edges and color coordinating the pieces into organized piles as an old movie played in the background. Sakusa tried to ignore the fact that he chose the same movie he had just watched the day before with an obnoxious setter. As the movie progressed and the edge of the puzzle came together, Sakusa continued to ignore the memories from the day before, the flood of faces Atsumu would make in response to watching one of his favorite movies. He couldn’t handle it. He switched the movie off halfway through and played familiar songs instead so that he could focus on the puzzle. He soon became sick of the ridiculous amount of yellow and gold pieces that dominated the board he worked on. The same color that haunted him in high school and now as an adult, _not only on my team but even in my home_. He wanted to throw the puzzle away, rid himself of the obnoxious yellow and the ridiculous feeling that had pooled in his gut since the moment Atsumu had called him immaculate. _This is ridiculous… This has nothing to do with Ats—with **anyone**._

He glanced at his phone, for the hundredth time today and noticed the time. If he took Hinata to the drive in they should be on their way back now. He forced himself to focus on his puzzle again but the nagging feeling in the back of his head continued. _Aren’t you upset? No_. A puzzle piece found its home. _You knew this was going to happen._ Another piece. _He literally told you he was going to take him on the exact same date_. Another. _But he wouldn’t, would he? It felt so… specific. Like everything was specifically tailored for what he thought my needs were. Right? That didn’t feel like the kind of thing that a typical first date would include… for a moment it felt specia—specific. Just specific. It was a pleasant evening and that’s it._ Sakusa became annoyed with himself for not being able to clear his mind the way he usually could when he was focused. The pieces all began to look the same, the yellow swirls clouded his vision and made him feel sick. He laid back onto the couch, uncharacteristically deciding to continue the puzzle another night.

He didn’t know why he did it, he knew it was a terrible idea, but he continued anyway. He quickly changed into a black sweat suit, baseball cap, and a tacky EJP face mask his cousin had given him as a gift when he had first joined the team. Sakusa would never be caught dead in a mask like that and he felt that it would help in this moment. He tucked his hair under his cap and pulled it down as low as it could go to rest right above his eyebrows. The face mask was a final touch, he looked in the mirror and convinced himself he was unrecognizable. _I’m just going on a run to clear my head_. He was not. He ended up running far from his own home and down a familiar street. He stopped running when he could see a dim sign for an onigiri shop he had been to the day before. He walked briskly so as not to linger but no longer ran so that he could see properly _. I just want to see if they made it back okay._ He did not. When he was a few steps away, a familiar face stepped out of the shop. Sakusa continued to walk past in the most unaffected way he could manage, keeping his head low. As he approached, he heard Osamu mumbling curses to himself. Sakusa caught pieces of “fucking Tsumu… M’gonna kill‘im… makin me walk all the way home… such a dick… always late… I’m tellin ma… this is the last time…”

Sakusa pieced everything together, _why is he later than we were yesterday? Is he still bringing him here after? This is not part of the plan… Poor Osamu, having to do this for his brother twice._ Sakusa decided to take a lap around the block to buy time, and then another and another, if the street wasn’t so empty, he might have looked very suspicious as he walked around in circles mindlessly. He was starting his fourth lap when a small truck passed him. He continued his journey holding his anticipation in check as he walked around the block, allowing Atsumu and his date to arrive and enter the shop uninterrupted. As soon as Sakusa rounded the corner and knew he was out of sight from the shop he sprinted at full speed to get back as soon as he could. He stopped himself a few doors down and caught his breath. _This is it_. He walked slower than he had all night. His eyes glued to the window that shed a dim light out onto the cold sidewalk he walked. He stopped just before the light hit the dark where he could see inside but conceal himself to those inside. His eyes weren’t ready. He took in the beautiful scene on display. Hinata and Atsumu’s heads and shoulders were just visible over the counter separating the kitchen from the rest of the world. They wore large smiles and wide eyes as they shared words Sakusa would never know from their bubble of bliss. Although Sakusa could not hear the laughs he was seeing performed before him, they still gave him whiplash. He stood shaking as he saw Atsumu position himself behind Hinata in a way he would never know himself. He felt the wind knock out of him as the last small flame of hope he held in his heart flickered away from lack of oxygen. _They look so happy_. Sakusa’s mouth tasted like metal, his fists were tight and painful, but he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the private showing that lead to his demise. _This is why I came here, I have front row seats. This is not a movie; this is my life. I am a side character, nothing more. I just needed to confirm and now I have… Yesterday was only a practice run. Yesterday was not specific or special, it was trial and error. It was the means to an end. Today is special, he couldn’t have practiced this, he couldn’t have looked at me the way he’s looking at him… Now I know what I already knew... I saw it through to the end… and now my task is complete because…_ Sakusa wiped the tears that quietly fell from his eyes and removed his soaked mask. _He looks happier_. He allowed himself another minute, to memorize a smile he knew would never be for him and feel a pain previously unknown to Sakusa, Kiyoomi. _Good night, Atsumu_.

…

**Inside Onigiri Miya**

Hinata was having a good time, he laughed at all of Atsumu’s corny jokes because he sincerely thought they were funny. He loved the way Atsumu smiled at him with all his teeth, it made his heart flutter. He found the entire thing incredibly romantic; they had the restaurant to themselves and Atsumu had shown him how to make onigiri. It was more scandalous than it sounded, in a not so subtle attempt to flirt, Atsumu ended up standing directly behind Hinata with both arms surrounding him, his hands on Hinata’s who surrounded an imperfect blob of rice. Atsumu cleared his throat to muster up a smooth voice, “like this Shoyo-kun.” His long fingers guiding smaller hands around warm rice.

They stood like this for a while, Hinata felt the air leave his chest as Atsumu whispered instructions that felt more seductive than the words would be coming from a typical instructor. Hinata’s blush had spread to his neck and Atsumu had to hold in the urge to place a soothing kiss on the pink skin. Hinata was speechless, if they weren’t alone, he might have even felt embarrassed but what he did know was he wouldn’t mind doing this again, enjoying the proximity more than he wanted to admit.

Atsumu hooked his chin over the shorter man’s shoulder to rest his head there playfully. Hinata audibly gulped, he cleared his throat and managed a nervous hum as he finally placed the mediocre ball of rice on a plate. Atsumu smiled widely as he held in the many jokes he could have made about the rice ball’s and the maker’s condition. Instead, he chuckled softly as he helped Hinata salt his hand and start another. Hinata could feel goosebumps form where the breathy chuckle hit his skin and couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him.

Atsumu laughed and released the cage of his arms, “normally I’d torture ya more but I’m startin' to get hungry.” With a wink he quickly got to work as Hinata finished another mediocre onigiri. He then switched to “helping” by placing all the onigiri Atsumu handed him on a couple of plates and opening some beers for them. Atsumu playfully jutted his mouth out as he worked on the last of the rice, silently asking Hinata to hold the bottle to his lips. Hinata complied with a deep blush. Atsumu reveled in the attention and teased him, “ya remember feedin’ me when I was sick?”

Hinata nodded slowly as he took in Atsumu’s familiar lips. With a breathy chuckle he confirmed, “I don’t think I could forget.”

Atsumu took it as encouragement, he placed the final onigiri in Hinata’s hand and licked his lips, “so can ya also feed me when m’not sick?”

Hinata looked at him with confusion. Atsumu took a step towards the shorter man and opened his mouth dramatically. Hinata giggled as he realized what Atsumu was requesting and playfully shoved most of the onigiri in his mouth, catching Atsumu by surprise and filling his mouth with too big of a bite. Atsumu gave him a playful pout as he chewed with his cheeks filled. He grabbed Hinata’s wrist, pulling him out of the kitchen and around to the only stools standing up right. Hinata followed, trying to hold in his laugh. They began eating together and found themselves in easy conversation jumping from topic to topic:

“If you didn’t play volleyball, what would be your dream job?”

“nothin’ it was volleyball or nothin’.

“me too.”

…

“Do ya miss Brazil?”

“yeah I think part of me always will, I made some really good friends and I miss the weather, and if I’m honest, I miss being tan the most. But I did miss home a lot when I was there, but now that I’m here, I miss it there. So maybe _I’m_ the problem?”

“nah, ya could never be the problem.”

…

“Have you ever been to the beach?”

“nah, I’ve wanted to, but fer some reason it just never works out anytime it’s been planned fer one reason’r another. I technically don’t even know how to swim.”

“You don’t know how to swim?? you’re so old though!”

“I'm pretty sure that’s offensive somehow Shoyo-kun! I just never needed to! We were always busy doin’ other stuff! M’sure I could learn though, doesn’t look too hard, ya could even teach me.”

…

Hinata held his abdomen from laughing too much after watching Atsumu tell him the story of him and Osamu’s greatest fight with a full demonstration of all the moves both of the twins did. Atsumu gleamed at the sight of him laughing, he loved being the reason for the beautiful smile on the spiker’s face.

Hinata caught his breath and met the droopy eyes staring at him, “what is it? do I have something on my face Atsumu-kun?”

The setter’s eyes went wide briefly but he expertly collected himself with a smirk, “nah, yer just really pretty, especially when ya laugh.”

Hinata went red mumbling a quiet, “you too.”

That was enough of an invitation for the blonde to smile wide. Atsumu closed the space between them and ruffled orange hair a bit disappointed with his next words, “we should probably head out soon… Samu’s makin’ me wake up early, but lets do this again… okay?”

A shy smile plays on Hinata’s face to hide his slight disappointment, “I would love to.”

They got to work and cleaned the place quickly, Hinata checked the time and realized it really was late. He set his phone down to go to the restroom and turned to Atsumu who was wiping down the table, “I’ll be right back.”

Atsumu finished quickly and took a second to admire his work, _Samu can’t say shit about me leavin' a mess._ He made his way to the stools that were still upright and started putting them up, moving Hinata’s phone so they could sit on the tabletop. _Shoyo-kun’s so trustin', who leaves their phone layin' around like that?_ As if on cue, the phone buzzes to life showing a text message from a name that makes Atsumu’s stomach stir, _New Message:_ _Bakageyama_. He really didn’t mean to look, caught only by a bitter coincidence. Atsumu looks up quickly to make sure no one is around, _why is there no preview?_ He grunts in frustration, _have they been textin' back and fourth?_ He lets a nosey finger tap the screen to life and hears Osamu’s voice scolding him for snooping. He slides his finger over the screen and is stopped by a familiar screen asking him for a passcode, _fuck, four numbers, four numbers._ He tries _1234_ and is shut down quickly. _This is a dangerous game… If I open it he’s gonna know I was being an insecure shithead._ He decides instead to swipe away the notification and hope for the best, that Hinata sees the notification after he’s already invested in Atsumu, no matter what the message says. Although he feels a bit of relief, he can’t help the sour taste in his mouth, _I shouldn’t have done that_. _Fuck me, I haven’t changed a bit._

Hinata returns a few seconds later looking impossibly cheery, “something wrong Atsumu?”

It makes Atsumu regret his previous actions, thankful to have stepped away from the phone when he did. Atsumu masks his guilt with a smirk, “s’nothing Shoyo-kun, just missed ya.”

Hinata’s smile goes wide as pink colors his cheeks. _What do I even say to that?_ He clears his throat, “mmm we don’t want that, should we head out?” he asks as he slips his phone into his pocket and makes sure his wallet and keys are in the other.

Atsumu relaxes slightly as he steps closer and wraps his arm around Hinata’s shoulders, “lets go” He guides them through the kitchen to the back where he left his car. He opens the door for Hinata and jogs over to the driver’s side quickly.

Hinata melts into the seat, he soaks in the familiar smell of Atsumu as they wait for the car to warm up. _I should have worn a jacket_. Atsumu drives through the night easily, its late enough that there are few cars. Hinata takes the time to stare at him the way he can’t seem to get enough of all night. _He looks like a different person in this car, more confident somehow, still so hot but just in a different way. More mysterious? Maybe even a little scary? No that’s not the right word, more like intimidating? But in a hot way. What’s wrong with me? Have I been quiet for too long?_

To fill the silence, Hinata clears his throat, “Did you really come up with all of this on your own?”

Atsumu glances over, “what?”

Hinata fidgets a bit, “the date… did you come up with it on your own?”

Atsumu smirks, “ya liked it that much Shoyo-kun?”

Hinata lets out a nervous laugh, _he **would** answer my question with a question_, “I guess you could say that.”

Atsumu smiles in satisfaction, “Wellllll to be honest, not all of it, Samu helped some. I knew what I wanted to do but he helped me with the plannin’ and stuff, plus the truck and shop.”

Hinata hummed in thought. _Is this typical for Atsumu? Is he always this romantic? Today was straight out of a work of fiction_. He didn’t realize he was speaking out loud when he said, “I’ve never been on a date like this.”

Atsumu barely heard the confession, a genuine smile formed on his lips. He reached a hand from the steering wheel to Hinata’s thigh and gave him a small squeeze, “ya deserve a million dates like this.”

Hinata’s heart skipped a beat, his brain and body were reacting to Atsumu’s words and touch simultaneously, making him malfunction. He couldn’t form words but settled with setting his own hand to sit on top of Atsumu’s in silence for the rest of the ride home.

…

They pulled up to Hinata’s house and Atsumu pulled his hand back gently, they both suffered quiet protest at the loss of contact. Hinata watched the setter jump out of the car quickly and round the car from the back. He opened the back door quickly and then finally opened Hinata’s door. Hinata took Atsumu’s waiting hand and stepped out of the car easily. He watched with curious eyes as Atsumu held a hand behind his back, hiding something from view.

Atsumu’s cheeks are dusted with pink as he pulls a bouquet from behind his back. “I got ya these.”

Hinata audibly gasps as he takes in the beautiful collection of sunflowers and red roses he is presented, “they are beautiful, Atsumu.” He can feel tears pooling in his eyes, “you didn’t have to do that.”

Atsumu uses a long finger to tip the shorter man’s face up to meet his eyes, “I wanted to.”

Hinata gulps, he takes in intense honey colored eyes and freezes. Atsumu collects one of Hinata’s hands and guides him up the small path from the street to the front door. Hinata follows mindlessly, eyes on his flowers.

Atsumu stops below the stairs and turns to face Hinata again. He musters up courage and sets his hands on either side of Hinata, gripping his arms for stability. Atsumu takes a deep breath and pulls Hinata closer, forcing Hinata to meet his eyes again.

His ears burn as Hinata watches in quiet anticipation. Atsumu begins a nervous speech he has practiced a hundred times since Hinata agreed to go on a date with him, “Let me be serious for a second, Just listen, okay? There—There hasn’t been a doubt in my mind about you Shoyo, okay? Never. Not since the moment I first saw you play; I knew even then that I wanted to be a part of yer life... At first, yes, it was the competitive part of me that wanted to be part of your success but the more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I realize that—I… I want more. I just mean… I want you in any way you’ll have me Shoyo, I just want us to grow together, ya know? I want to get to know you more and take you out and make you smile; I just want you. I want you and me, whatever that looks like. Whatever it is that you want, I want to be the one to give that to you.”

Hinata takes in Atsumu’s panic filled eyes, he wants to comfort him. A smile spreads over his face, his words caress Hinata in a way no other has, the honesty sets a fire inside him. He can’t speak, he wouldn’t know what to respond to Atsumu. To someone as beautiful and sincere as the man in front of him. He says nothing, instead he pushes forward and lets instinct guide him. He wraps his arms around the setter’s neck, careful not to drop the flowers he holds in one hand and cranes his neck to reach his lips. He feels the small gasp that leaves Atsumu’s lips and the tastes the cherry Chapstick Atsumu recommends to anyone who will listen. Hinata feels arms snake around his waist and pull him impossibly closer as Atsumu’s lips begin to move expertly against his own timid lips. The kiss escalates from sweet to passionate and hungry. Hinata’s fingers twist into blonde hair they have craved for months and soft moans escape their lips. They only pull away, out of breath and embarrassed, when a car passing by honks. A breathy giggle escapes Hinata as his brain fights to form a sentence. Atsumu laughs hysterically and mumbles, “I could get used to that.”

Hinata laughs and pushes Atsumu’s shoulder playfully, “that was nice.”

Atsumu smiles with all his teeth and wiggles and eyebrow, “just _nice_?”

Hinata shakes his head and collects himself, “Thank you for everything Atsumu. I—I had a really nice time with you. Everything was perfect.”

Atsumu’s heart swells, he places his hands on Hinata’s cheeks and suppresses the urge to kiss him again, his thumbs rubbing the soft skin below. He looks at bright brown eyes and whispers, “think about what I said, okay? I meant every word.” Atsumu gently places a kiss on Hinata’s forehead and releases his face.

Hinata nods thoughtfully, “I will Atsumu… thank you again for everything, have a good night.” Before he can think of the consequences of his actions, he quickly presses a loud kiss on Atsumu’s cheek and hurries up the stairs, leaving a stunned Atsumu outside.

…

Hinata carefully sets down his flowers and collapses on the couch screaming into a pillow after feeling like he was going to explode. He hears running water and a shuffle of footsteps he could recognize anywhere. He shifts his position and sees Kenma placing his flowers in a vase with water. Hinata pouts, “thank you Kenmaaaa, you’re the best!”

Kenma nods, “Its nothing, how did it go?”

Hinata sighs, _how **did** it go_? He bites his lip, “Honestly, I don’t even know.”

Kenma chuckles, “what were the screams for?”

Hinata lets out an embarrassed laugh, “ugh, don’t judge me for a second okay, pretend I don’t sound like a total teenager. he’s just—he’s just so hot. And sweet. And he kissed me… wait no! _IM_ the one who kissed _HIM_. Oh my God, I hope it was okay.”

Kenma sits on the free end of the long couch. He lets a sly smile play on his lips, “that doesn’t sound so bad. How was it?”

Hinata throws his head back and groans, “He’s a ridiculously good kisser, its not even fair. And KENMAAAAA you should have seen the date! He’s so ridiculously thoughtful and so much fun to be around, being around him is overwhelming, its intoxicating. Every time we touch, or he smiles, or makes a dumb joke my heart feels like it’s going to collapse. I don’t know what to do.”

Kenma nods thoughtfully, “so do you want to see him again? For another date.”

Hinata purses his lips in thought, “I’m not gonna lie… He’s just so honest, it’s pretty scary. Not a bad scary, just a new scary. And he just has this presence you know? Like when he plays volleyball, but he’s looking me in the eyes that way and all I can do is try and not melt away… Like he told me he wanted me in whatever way I would have him—who _does_ that?? He said so many sweet things and I just agreed that I would think about it after I kissed him, like an _IDIOT_. I didn’t actually give him a proper response.”

Kenma nodded, “I mean you don’t have to respond now; it sounds like he’s willing to wait for you to think about what you want. I honestly can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re taking about Miya Atsumu right now. I don’t know him well, but I wouldn’t have guessed anyone would ever call him sweet.”

Hinata giggled, “he’s a bit different than he was in high school. But honestly, I don’t know, he’s been pretty nice to me ever since I joined the team.”

Kenma shrugged, “What’s holding you back then, if he’s so nice?”

Hinata bit his lip, “Me. Just me and my over thinking.”

Kenma chuckles, “thought so, make a pro and con list, that might help. I’m gonna hop back on my stream, I just said I’d be back when you were screaming.”

Hinata giggles, “thanks Kenma, have a good night, I’ll keep it down.”

Kenma smiles and walks towards his stream room but stops halfway to call back, “by the way, we are having brunch here tomorrow, Akaashi and Bokuto are coming. You have to be there too. It’s for Kuroo. I’ll need your help. Good night Shoyo.”

Hinata nodded, “of course, you can count on me! But don’t stay up too late then!”

Kenma continues walking back, “yeah, yeah. I know.”

Hinata chuckles, knowing Kenma was going to stay up all night regardless of their plans. He takes his phone out of his pocket and pulls up his messages wanting to ask Atsumu if he made it home safe. An unread message from Kageyama greets him from the messages. _What the fuck?_ He retraces his steps, that’s weird. _I don’t remember getting a notification… I must have been too focused on Atsumu._ He sends Atsumu a message first, asking if he’s okay and hovers over the other contact, not ready to read the message he’s been waiting almost a week for. He takes a deep breath and clicks open the thread:

**From: Bakageyama**

_> > We have a game coming up, you ready to lose?_

Hinata bursts out laughing as his heart deflates, having expected something more intense and not volleyball related. _A little late at night for this to be a friendly reminder of a game isn’t it? Of course, this is how he starts a conversation_ , Hinata thinks with an eyeroll as he types up his own challenge in response.

…

**Sunday Breakfast**

Atsumu loves breakfast with his brother but can’t say the same about breakfast with his brother and his brother’s boyfriend. Samu presented the rest of his conditions after physically assaulting Atsumu as soon as he set down the sliced fruit he brought with him. He groaned in annoyance as Osamu took full advantage of their agreement, requesting tickets to the upcoming game against the Adlers, help closing the shop two nights, dinner at his house with Suna, and a dozen pudding cups.

Osamu filled his mouth with food, “so how were yer dates? Worth the price?”

Atsumu rolled is eyes, “yer a conman.”

Suna chimed in, nosey as ever, “datesss?”

Osamu wiggled an eyebrow, “I still have no idea how ya managed that.”

Atsumu smirked, “ya wish ya looked like yer handsome big brother.”

Osamu kicked him under the table, “I’d rather die than look like yer ugly ass. So who are ya keepin’? Or are ya gonna keep seein' them both?”

Suna snickered, “you're literally twins. Who else did you scam into going on a date with you?”

Atsumu rolled his eyes, “Omi-kun was just helpin' me get a date with Shoyo-kun, it actually worked, I even told Shoyo how I felt.”

Suna’s eyes went wide, “Sakusa Kiyoomi? Went on a date with _you_?”

Atsumu sneered, “ya don’t have to sound so surprised.”

Osamu chewed thoughtfully, “ya sure it wasn’t more than just a favor?”

Atsumu’s face scrunched, “what?”

His twin pursed his lips, “M’just sayin, Sakusa-kun doesn’t look like the type to agree to somethin' like that for no reason.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes, effectively ending the conversation. _These two don’t know what they’re talkin about. And they didn’t even ask me about the good part, I finally told Shoyo how I felt. Scrubs._ He shook his head, trying not to overthink the comments made about Sakusa’s intensions _. Nah, with as blunt as he is, Omi-Omi would tell me if he had something on his mind. These idiots don’t know him like I do_.

…

**Sunday Brunch**

Hinata finds himself setting up the dining table they never use for the impromptu Sunday brunch planned by Kenma. Kenma wanted to celebrate Kuroo’s big project success at work after seeing him work so hard on getting the presentation just right the past few months. Of course, though Kenma did the _planning,_ which meant informing Kuroo, Hinata, Akaashi, and Bokuto they were having brunch together, Kuroo ended up doing most of the cooking. Though he didn’t seem to mind at all, in fact he seemed very touched by Kenma’s suggestion and looked happy as he hummed in the kitchen making waffles. Kenma welcomed in their eager guests, Akaashi and Bokuto who were carrying bags filled with orange juice, champagne, and tequila. They greet each other like they haven’t seen each other in years, it reminds Hinata of how much he loves his friends. Akaashi and Kenma began mixing the drinks and putting them in two large pitchers that Bokuto placed on the table. As Hinata finishes setting out the champagne flutes everyone joins him in the dining room carrying plates of food and taking their seats. Kuroo sat at the head of the long table. On his right was Kenma followed by Hinata, Akaashi sat directly in front of Hinata, and Bokuto sat between Akaashi and Kuroo. They serve themselves and give their thanks for the food.

As everyone begins to shovel food into their mouths Akaashi chimes in, “Okay, welcome to your first boozy brunch Hinata. So everyone let’s remember the brunch rules, we are all starting with the champagne pitcher. When you finish the glass, you have to fill it with the other pitcher. The yellow drink is a mimosa, it has champagne and orange juice. The orange drink is a tequila sunrise which has orange juice, tequila, and a little grenadine already mixed in. We alternate refills: champagne, tequila, champagne, tequila, am I making sense?” Akaashi passed out tiny disposable red cups, “You can tap out whenever you want but you cannot have a drink from the same pitcher back to back. So you can’t have two mimosas in a row or two tequila sunrises back to back. Don’t try to be sneaky, I’m looking at you Tetsu, I’ll definitely notice and that’ll earn you a mandatory shot with no juice. Any questions?”

Hinata chuckled at the feigned offense on Kuroo’s face and the the excitement clear in Akaashi’s eyes. He shook his head, “sounds good, I’ll do my best to keep up. Do you guys do this often?”

Akaashi downs his first mimosa before Hinata finishes the question and gives him a sinister smile as he pours himself his first tequila sunrise, “I wish, but brunch can get pretty… uh lets just say lively, so we really only do it for special occasions like today.” Akaashi turns and looks at Kuroo, “congratulations by the way Tetsu, you must be so excited, what will you be doing now that your project was approved?”

Kuroo went into a long monologue about what the next stages of his project entailed as they continued eating and drinking. Hinata drank the mimosa easily having already tried the drink on multiple occasions. He was hesitant to try the orange drink after smelling the clear stench of tequila as he filled his flute. His tiny sip was rewarded with the sweet taste of orange juice and a tarte syrup that felt perfectly balanced, _I can’t even taste the alcohol_ , he almost preferred this drink over the bubbly mimosa that made him feel bloated. Akaashi’s eagle eyes routinely made their way around the table to ensure the brunch rules were being followed and he did catch Kuroo trying to drink exclusively out of the tequila sunrise pitcher a couple of times. Kuroo took his shots like an expert but not without calling Akaashi ruthless. Kenma informed Hinata that this was typical and Kuroo actually enjoyed taking shots but loved competing with Akaashi the most when it came to drinks.

The conversation drifted to each of them and how their respective lives were going and how nice it was to be together again. Hinata felt warm and welcome regardless of being the fifth wheel. It wasn’t until his phone buzzed in his pocket that Hinata realized he was almost done with his second tequila sunrise. When he held his phone and struggled to adjust his eyes he knew he was much tipsier than he would have expected. He met Akaashi’s eyes and whatever expression his face held made the entire table burst into laughter.

Bokuto, who was on his 6th drink, made fun of his teammate, “they’re stronger than you thought right??” He let out a hearty laugh, “Akaaaaaamshi makes the best drinks, but they do sneak up on you. Don’t they??”

Hinata joined in as laughter took over his body, “they are delicious… too easy to drink… these drinks are dangerous Akaashi-san.”

Akaashi blushed as he filled his champagne flute again, “now you know why we don’t do this every weekend, pace yourself Shoyo, they don’t taste as good coming up.”

Hinata laughed and tried to check his messages again finding a notification from the MSBY group chat,

**From: Captain Meian**

_> > Coach Foster wants everyone to take this quiz and send in their results to “better understand each other, build team camaraderie, and grow as a more cohesive unit.” Idk guys just do it PLEASE; he’s going to talk about it tomorrow at practice so be prepared. Send the results here so we can all see what you got. The link: Your Love Language: How We Prefer to Receive Love vs. How We Typically Give Love._

Hinata giggled at Meian’s choice of words, he was able to hear the exasperated voice he was probably using every time he didn’t completely understand what Coach Foster was experimenting with. He pulled up the quiz that was longer than expected on a website that looked out of date and even a little sketchy but still did his best to focus. This caught everyone’s attention. Kenma looked at Hinata’s phone screen, “what are you doing Shoyo?”

Hinata gave him a small smile, “just a quiz coach wants us to do.”

Bokuto pulled out his own phone and read the message, “ooooh on love languages? I remember this! That’s so funny, but what does that have to do with volleyball?? Look Keiji!” Akaashi reads the quiz title out loud with a small smirk.

Kuroo jumps in, “maybe he wants to know how you guys prefer to celebrate as a team or even as teammates, it could be helpful in better understanding each other’s needs. It is kind of funny that he would bring it up though.”

Kenma gave him a side glance before exposing him, “Kuroo made us take that exact quiz after we got together.” Kuroo whined, “ _Kyyyeeeeennnnma!!_ You swore you wouldn’t say anything about it!” Kenma stuck out his tongue playfully. Kuroo smirked, “we aren’t the only people at this table who already took it though.” Akaashi reached for another drink and mumbled a quiet, “shut up.” The table laughed.

As Hinata continued answering the questions he thought to himself out loud, “wouldn’t you have the same love language for both showing and preferring to receive?”

Kuroo bit into a strawberry before explaining, “not necessarily, Shorty. Sometimes yes, but it seems like for most people it’s not the case, at least the ones I have met. Think of it this way, we tend to show love the way we were taught to. This comes from how we were raised or our circumstances and our personal experiences. However, that’s not necessarily the same love we want to receive, sometimes we crave what we didn’t get growing up or a kind of love that’s more complimentary to us but seems unattainable or bothersome for us to ask for, or maybe it’s something we haven’t experienced yet that we don’t know if we would even like it. Love languages can also be learned, especially with people who get together and speak completely different love languages, so they have to learn how to meet in the middle. You have to make sure you satisfy your partner’s needs while making sure not to neglect your own, it can get pretty complicated. Does that make sense?”

Hinata sat thoughtfully listening intently but he couldn’t let the joke pass him by, “you sure know a lot about love Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo chuckled, “what can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic.”

Hinata took in the way Kuroo and Kenma’s eyes met. He was too tipsy and curious to leave it alone, “what were your results?” He shifted his glance to Akasshi and Bokuto, “all of you.”

Hinata listened intently as he learned more about his friends and love’s complexities in general. Kenma showed his love through gift giving but preferred physical touch. Kuroo showed his love through acts of service but preferred quality time. Akaashi showed his love through words of affirmation but preferred physical touch. Bokuto showed love through physical touch but preferred receiving words of affirmation. Upon completing the quiz, Hinata found out he showed his love evenly through words of affirmation and physical touch but preferred quality time. After reading the detailed article’s explanation Hinata realized just how perfect the couples in front of him were together and it made him tear up. When asked if he was okay, an increasingly tipsy Hinata explained, “you guys are just so good together, Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san, you literally complement each other’s love language perfectly, how is that even fair?”

Akaashi suddenly appeared a bit teary eyed as a bright blush took over his features. Bokuto pulled his chair closer to his own and wrapped an arm around the leaner man who melted into his touch. Bokuto chimed in, happy to answer Hinata’s question, but he still did not take his eyes away from glossy teal orbs, “we just got really lucky I guess, Akaashi was just always there with me when I needed him most and meeting him really was like finding the rest of myself. He is the greatest person to ever exist. But honestly it was just luck about the love languages I guess, even if his were different I wouldn’t love him any less. We would still find a way to meet in the middle.”

Hinata had to look away from the intimate moment they were having and he turned his attention to the others, “Kuroo-san, Kenma? How do you guys do it? You guys are so good together but have very different languages based on the results. What’s your secret?”

Kenma gave Kuroo a small smile, encouraging him to explain. A large smile spread across Kuroo’s face as he shared details from what he considered the single greatest love story to ever exist, “there’s no secret, just lots of hard work. It was difficult in the beginning, especially because we didn’t understand our differences fully and would feel bad when we wouldn’t get what we needed but were too reserved to let the other know what our needs were. Sometimes we didn’t even know what to ask for, we didn’t even know what we needed, we just knew something was missing. Even though we had been best friends for so long it was really different when we were finally together, in a way we had to get to know each other all over again. It took lots of time, countless different approaches, and lots of patience. One random day I just happen to overhear some of my coworkers talking about the quiz in the breakroom and I looked it up and ended up reading the entire book the quiz was based on, it really gave me so much insight on how different love can look to each of us and it helped me understand Kenma better.” 

Kuroo reached to pull a strand of Kenma’s hair from his face playfully before continuing, “I honestly didn’t like gifts at all, I didn’t understand them. I felt like he just wanted me to forget about what we had disagreed on and sometimes it even felt like I owed him something of equal or greater value in return. Was he giving me gifts because he also wanted gifts? It wasn’t until I finished the section on gift giving that I realized the gifts themselves were filled with love and meant he had thought of me when he saw it, regardless of how small or large. I also realized he would feel guilty every time I would do something around the house without him asking me to and sometimes thought I did it as a way of pointing out he was messy. It wasn’t until I explained myself that he eventually realized that I put love in everything I did when I would visit, from folding his clothes to bringing him sliced fruit and water in the middle of a long stream, they were all things I did because I wanted to help make his day a little easier. Even though we have known each other practically our whole lives, we didn’t speak a common love language until a year into our relationship when we found ways to meet in the middle. After taking the quiz it was clear that I needed quality time and he needed physical touch, which were different than the way we even showed love, but we didn’t know how to go about that without outright asking. It all just clicked one day when we were watching a movie together on the couch. It was something so simple, but it was something we hadn’t taken the time to do together in a while since our schedules were so different. That day we just couldn’t find anything else we wanted to do after being exhausted, so we just laid on the couch together and it was one of the best evenings we had had together in a while. We talked about it the next day and although it didn’t seem romantic to dissect what exactly it was about the experience we liked, it really helped us in the long run. Thanks to that conversation, as time went on, we were more conscious of all the acts of love we had missed before and we felt more comfortable asking for specific things we wanted.” Kuroo laid his hand on Kenma’s and squeezed, “Right babe?” Kenma blushed a deep pink at the nickname and mumbled, “more or less, I guess.” Kuroo gave him a wink and changed the conversation to Akaashi’s latest work deadline horror story.

Hinata found himself captivated by his response; he didn’t realize how much work love could be. He hadn’t been in a serious relationship and just wanted to love the way the couples in front of him did. His face must have looked the way he felt because he felt a hand pat his knee. Kenma had reached out to comfort him, “you okay Sho?”

Hinata met his eyes briefly and nodded as he downed the last of his drink, “yeah… I just love, love, you know?” he giggled slightly through the emotion bubbling up in his chest as Akaashi intuitively poured him another drink which he gulped down thankfully. The table’s attention had shifted to Hinata who was gnawing at his lip in thought. Akaashi refilled everyone’s flutes and took a seat before asking what everyone was wondering, “what are you thinking about?”

Hinata cleared his throat and decided to be honest, his words rushing out in a drunken haze, “I just really want to have romantic love in my life. I look at all of you and find myself wanting the same thing, I just want someone to call my own… But every time I think something may be headed in the right direction, things get so complicated or I do something wrong. Or something else comes up and interrupts the good and I can’t help but wonder all the time if it’s a sign, or how many signs I’ve already missed because I can’t read them or I over think everything and I don’t know how to stop messing up… I just—I don’t know if love is for me.”

Silence took over the table as Hinata pouted, interrupted only by a small hiccup from Akaashi who was significantly ahead of the rest drink wise. Akaashi clears his throat, “alright, I’m just gonna call it how I see it: party fowl. No negative self talk at brunch, shots for everyone.” The table burst into laughter as Akaashi successfully distracted Hinata from the spiral of negative thoughts he was sinking into. Once Akaashi filled all the disposable cups with tequila he took his seat and met Hinata’s glossy eyes, “Hinata-kun, love is for everyone, including you. It may not be handed to us with a note that says _here’s the love of your life_ but you can make the most of all the moments you share with someone you like or even someone you don’t like. Love is not a destination or something you can fully understand at first glance. Sure, sometimes you see someone and know they are special right away,” He steals a glance at Bokuto who is already looking at him like there’s no one else in the room, “but even so, real love is grown together, it takes effort regardless of how compatible you may seem. That’s not to say you should force something that doesn’t feel right. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, just make the most out of every moment you share with another and the love will grow. Did any of that make sense?”

Hinata laughed wit the others and felt himself relax. Kenma raised his shot, “To Kuro’s project being a success and Hinata finding love.” Everyone drank.

…

The boozy brunch ended when the food and drinks ran out. The couples shifted into the living room after Bokuto challenged Kuroo and they all ended up playing a series of Mario Kart tournaments to sober up. Hinata was tired and still feeling the effects of the alcohol, so he excused himself, he was thankful to have been in his home and able to just walk to his room. He collapsed onto his bed and looked at the unread text messages in the MSBY group chat. He read everyone’s results taking special note of Sakusa and Atsumu’s results. Sakusa’s caught his eye because the results for both parts were the same unlike everyone else’s, he both showed and preferred to receive love through acts of service. Atsumu’s caught his eye because he had been curious about it since he got his own results. Atsumu showed love through acts of service but preferred receiving words of affirmation. _Huh, that makes sense_. Hinata thought back to some of their previous interactions where Atsumu would blush or smile wide when he received compliments or praise, he usually played it off with a smart remark but never fast enough to hide his initial response from Hinata.

Thinking about Atsumu inevitably let him to think of Kageyama. Curiosity and courage controlled his actions, he forwarded the quiz link to Kageyama who he had been randomly texting since the night before, mostly threats of beating the other, which felt like their conversations from when they were back in high school and frustrated Hinata. A bit of regret collected in the pit of his stomach as soon as he sent the link, _fuck, I shouldn’t have done that, what if he thinks I’m being pushy?_ Hinata sighs, thinking about the past couple of weeks and what his friends had taught him about love, letting himself fall into the uncensored confusion of his thoughts, _Ugh. If I’m being honest, I thought he was going to say something else, I thought he was just leading into something bigger... Maybe he’s telling me with this what he wants things to look like. I think.. this is his way of telling me that we are rivals and nothing more. Okay Kageyama, message received._

Hinata shakes his head, _I really can’t keep doing this. Thinking of both feels wrong. What am I even doing? Waiting? Holding on to something that hasn’t bloomed yet, after all these years. That’s not fair to Atsumu, sweet and kind and honest Atsumu who tells me how he feels and **shows** me too. Atsumu who wants to spend time with me and get to know me. Atsumu who makes me feel like the main character, who makes me feel wanted, who I don’t have to beg for attention or a set or his trust, he’s just ready to give it to me. Someone who is ready to love me the way I want to be loved… I’m so stupid, it took me so long to read the signs. Atsumu, I want to love somebody like you_. Hinata felt tears spill down his cheeks, from both heartbreak and happiness. He felt a chapter of his life begin to close as a new one opened, leaving behind a boy who was never quite within reach and finding one whose arms where open and inviting. He felt a sudden wave of calm wash over his body, having finally started to process what felt like an inevitable end to his first love. But of course, as soon as Hinata started to feel sure of himself and his thoughts, his phone buzzed:

**_From: Bakageyama_ **

_> > Shown though quality time. Prefer receiving physical touch. _

_> > What about you? _

Hinata felt sick, growing more uncertain with each passing second as he compared his love languages with Atsumu and Kageyama’s. _How could anyone possibly pick between a love like Kenma and Kuroo’s or Akaashi and Bokuto’s. Not that I would even be given a choice, they are both going to hate me by the end of whatever this is_. _And no matter what, I’m fucked._

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy the KuroKen love story? I know I rambled a lot but I just love them. Also yes, I love brunch.   
> I probably won't update for a while because my job is pretty demanding. I might even wait until I can finish the fic and post it all at once. I know what I want to happen at the end but I'm struggling with the journey there. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience and support, your comments and kudos men the world to me. <3
> 
> Follow me on twitter, I am always open to answering any questions you may have: <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>
> 
> (if anyone notices any mistakes in grammar or continuity please send them my way, I am working my way through this monster of a fic and editing as I re-read but my eyes still miss things, this is my first fic so its far from perfect but I'm doing my best.)   
> Much love -V


	13. New Moments, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu cleared his throat to collect himself and playfully asked, “Guess what?”  
> It was then that Hinata noticed Atsumu had his hands behind his back, “what?”  
> Atsumu’s hands expertly produced a matte black helmet from behind his back. He wore a childlike smile as he announced, “ta-dah!”  
> Hinata looked at it in confusion and smiled out of courtesy, “that’s really nice of you Atsumu but you really shouldn’t have. I uh—I don’t really wear a helmet, my hair’s already a mess.”  
> Atsumu giggled, “it’s actually fer me.” 
> 
> Or: Atsumu and Hinata spend time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 4.1k words but that's what the twitter poll results decided.  
> Here's the AtsuHina playlist in case you were curious: [AtsuHina](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/66PRt7CdO5KYXYhcgStkhI?si=2-prWneYSKyZVzAxFvL9NA)

Hinata woke up startled, he had no idea when he even fell asleep. He felt around the bed for the phone that had slipped out of his hand, _what day is it?_ He was surprised to find that it was still Sunday. It was 6pm and he had only been asleep for a few hours. He got up feeling the light hint of a headache, hunger, but surprisingly refreshed. _Brunch is dangerous_ , he reminded himself with a giggle. He made his way to the kitchen and began making himself a sandwich. His friends were nowhere in sight, but the house was once again spotless. _Bokuto and Akaashi-san must have left. Kenma and Kuroo are probably asleep,_ he giggled. Hinata ate mindlessly as he finally checked his notifications.

His heart skipped a beat when he finally read his messages:

**_From: Atsumu_ **

_> > Hey Shoyo-kun!_

_> > Shoyooooo-kunnnn _

_> >What are you up to?_

_> > What time do you usually leave for practice in the morning?_

_> > Got a surprise for you_

_> >I’m gonna pick you up tomorrow morning so we can head over together_

_> > Btw: Not a question :p _

**_From: Bakageyama_ **

_> > Boke?_

_> > I told you mine, so what about yours? _

Hinata had left Kageyama on read after he had asked him what his love languages were, he rushed to share his own results and apologize to both setters for the delayed response. He triple checked the names to make sure he was responding to the correct one.

**_To: Atsumu_ **

_< < Sorry about the late response! I had brunch with some friends, and I fell asleep after /.\ _

_< < I usually leave around 7:30 since it takes about 30 minutes to get to practice. _

_< < But you really don’t need to stop by, don’t worry about it. _

_< < I can just ride my bike like usual, I like it! I’m already warmed up for practice._

**_To: Bakageyama_ **

_< < Sorry about the late response! I had brunch with some friends then fell asleep _

_< < I prefer quality time but show it evenly through physical touch and words of affirmation _

Hinata gratefully downed some aspirin and an entire glass of water. As the water settled in his stomach guilt clouded his thoughts. _Should I stop replying?_ _This feels weird… talking to them both at the same time feels dishonest. Well I mean I'm technically not doing anything different than regular dating. But then why do I feel like—Like this is… This is… wrong?_ The setters interrupted his internal panic:

**_From: Bakageyama_ **

**_> > _ ** _What’s brunch?_

**_From: Atsumu_ **

_> > Wow Shoyo-kun, no invite? That hurts. _

_> > I guess I’ll let it slide this time cause you’re cute. _

_> > For the record: I love brunch. _

_> > See you tomorrow morning, I’ll be there around 7:20 _ _😊_

Hinata couldn’t help but laugh at the very different responses he received about his whereabouts. After a brief explanation of what he thought brunch was and a resigned agreement to see his teammate in the morning, he set his phone down and decided to shower. He relaxed after washing away the guilt of responding to both setters and the last of the effects of his first boozy bunch.

Once he felt clean, he decided to practice some long overdue self-care, _I’m going to watch a movie and do nothing._ He pulled out a small container of ice-cream and wrapped himself in a fluffy blanket on the couch. He surfed through his movie recommendations and ran across the same movie he had watched with Atsumu the day before, _perfect_. He happily ate and cried to his heart’s content. It wasn’t until the movie ended and he got ready for bed that he saw a few messages he would never have expected:

**_From: Bakageyama_ **

**_> > _ ** _Sounds like fun, let me know next time._

 **_> > _ ** _Re: Your love languages: that’s very interesting. I just read the meaning behind it._

_> > Sounds like we are pretty compatible._

_> > See you Saturday. _

Hinata choked on his spit, _wait—what? what the fuck?? What does that even mean??_ He reread the messages ten times, looking for hidden meaning in the setter’s nonchalant words. He found none. Frustration slowly replaced confusion, _what do I even say to that? Why can’t he just be clear? Why is he so infuriating? I—I can’t do this anymore… You know what? I’m done fishing for answers. I’m sorry Kageyama but I’m not going to ask you to clarify. I don’t want to pick up the hints you drop anymore. If you want something, say it with your chest._ He nodded in satisfaction after sending his response and calling it a night.

**_To: Bakageyama_ **

_< < See you Saturday, good night. _

…

**Monday Morning**

Hinata woke up early and ate breakfast. He thought he would be a nervous wreck this morning as he waited for Atsumu but the nerves never came. _Maybe its because its not a date? We’re just going to practice, like I do every day. Only this time its together. Him and me... Us… Fuck, why did I just talk myself into feeling nervous?_

A knock on the door signaled the setter’s arrival. Hinata grabbed his small duffle and shoved his feet into his shoes quickly, opening the front door wide.

He smiled shyly, “Good Morning, Atsumu.”

Atsumu gave him a breathtaking smile, “G’mornin Shoyo-kun, ya miss me?”

The shorter man blushed and turned to lock the door behind him mumbling, “who wouldn’t?” When his eyes returned to Atsumu, he smiled at the faint pink dusting Atsumu’s cheeks.

Atsumu cleared his throat to collect himself and playfully asked, “Guess what?”

It was then that Hinata noticed Atsumu had his hands behind his back, “what?”

Atsumu’s hands expertly produced a matte black helmet from behind his back. He wore a childlike smile as he announced, “ta-dah!”

Hinata looked at it in confusion and smiled out of courtesy, “that’s really nice of you Atsumu but you really shouldn’t have. I uh—I don’t really wear a helmet, my hair’s already a mess.”

Atsumu giggled, “it’s actually fer me.”

Hinata’s head tilted, asking Atsumu to continue.

Atsumu blushed deeply, “I uh—I thought we could um, ride to practice together. Since ya said it was a good warm up and all...” He took in Hinata’s wide eyes, _oh my God this was such a stupid idea, I have a car! Why would I force him to still ride his bike?? He probably only said yes because he thought I was driving ohmygod._ He stuttered, suddenly self-conscious, “Is that—um okay? We uh don’t have to—I can just drive us. Forget I said anyth—”

He was cut off by Hinata placing both hands on his cheeks and smooshing them together to stop Atsumu from speaking. Hinata smiled brightly at the suggestion, _he’s so cute_ , “Atsumu that’s so sweet, I’d love to! It sounds like fun! Let me go around back and get my bike!”

Atsumu sighed with relief as he watched the smaller man run off happily. He walked over to his car and unloaded the bike he bought on impulse the day before, after Hinata shared with the team that he preferred spending quality time with people as a form of love. Atsumu strapped his own duffel across his back and flattened his hair slightly before shoving the helmet on. _I look like a fuckin' dork, fuckin' Samu had to scare me into wearin’ one… he’s not wrong though, if anything happened and Ma found out I wasn't wearin’ a helmet she would kill me twice_. His cheeks heated as Hinata walked up to him, rolling his bike beside him.

Hinata giggled quietly as he approached and Atsumu flushed red, refusing to meet his eyes. Hinata admired Atsumu’s strong stance, already mounted on the bike, ready to move. His face contradicted his body, there were random tufts of blonde hair sticking out of the helmet in almost all directions and his bangs sat pressed onto his forehead just above his eyes. _So cute_ , Hinata couldn’t believe how young Atsumu’s face became with the helmet making his round cheeks more prominent. The spiker smiled sweetly, taking in the clear embarrassment in Atsumu’s apple-like cheeks.

Hinata patted the top of the helmet smiling, “you look cute Atsumu-kun.”

The blush spread to Atsumu’s ears, he recovered slightly with a smirk, “easy, Shoyo-kun. Don’t start anything ya can’t finish.”

Although the words Atsumu cooed would usually make Hinata blush, the state of the setter’s face made him laugh instead.

“You’re silly.” Hinata said as he mounts his own bike and adjusts his bag into its usual position, “are you sure you want to do his? It’s a pretty long ride for your first time.”

Atsumu gasps dramatically, “S’not my first time on a bike! Yah, it’s been a while on a _real_ bike but I use the exercise bikes at the gym all the time. M’sure I can keep up, don’t ya worry. I’ll even race ya today if ya want!”

Hinata chuckled at the sparkle in Atsumu’s competitive eyes, “Maybe next time, let’s just try to make it to the gym on time and see how it goes.”

The smug smile on Hinata’s face made Atsumu want to demand they race, or kiss him, he wasn’t sure. Instead he settled for learning the way to the gym first, “fine, fine, next time.”

Hinata pursed his lips, keeping his taunts to himself, “Ready?”

Atsumu winked, “Hell yeah.”

Hinata began to pedal forward, “Follow me.”

Atsumu moved his own bike forward with a soft smile, “it would be my pleasure.”

…

The pair make their way to practice. Hinata sets a steady pace, much slower than usual to accommodate his companion. Atsumu keeps up well during the first half of the commute, his natural athleticism and rigid workout routines easily preparing him for what appears to be a simple bike ride. Atsumu is even playful at times, swerving in and out of Hinata’s way and flashing smiles as he pulls ahead. Hinata laughs, _he’s gonna regret that in a couple of minutes_. Atsumu did, his pace became sloppy and he started falling a bit behind _. Damn, Hinata does this every morning?? How does he do this in 30 minutes?? We still have a ways to go. When did they put in all these inclines??_ Hinata could tell Atsumu was getting tired, driven only by the sheer will power clear on his scrunched-up face. His cheeks were red and sweat dripped from his helmet down to his chin, _how is he still cute?_ He did his best to motivate Atsumu to continue without making him feel bad, _we are definitely going to be late._

Atsumu denies multiple offers to take a break or ride the rest of the way with Hinata, “M’fine. M’gonna make it.” He wasn’t so sure, _why the fuck did I suggest this??_

He watched Hinata peddle easily beside him, clearly going slower than he was used to, all smiles and words of encouragement. The way he looked in the morning light made Atsumu remember why he had suggested this _. He sure is easy on the eyes, ain’t he? I can do this Shoyo, I’ll do this every day if its what ya want. M’not gonna hold ya back or disappoint ya_. He pushed forward more confidently the last ten minutes, not wanting to disappoint Hinata who said he believed in him.

…

They arrived for practice almost 20 minutes late, quickly leaving their bicycles on the rack. They didn’t talk about anything, only ran inside quickly. Hinata was cheerful as ever, maybe even more than usual, Atsumu was a different story. Coach Foster yelled at them as soon as they rushed in, demanding an explanation. Though the typical consequence would be running laps, it was clear that Atsumu was in no condition to do that. They agreed they would serve their sentence the following morning and arrive an hour early.

Hinata stretches briefly after changing and jumps right into practice drills with the rest of the team. Atsumu downs some water after stretching, groaning at the ache in his glutes from sitting on a hard seat for too long. He ignores the glares radiating from Sakusa, a typical reaction to all of Atsumu’s late arrivals. Instead he shoots Sakusa an innocent wink that makes his teammate turn his head around violently in defeat.

…

Practice moves along quickly; with many jokes at the expense of Atsumu’s helmet hair. The physical training ends almost an hour early and the team is asked to take a seat as Coach Foster reviews their schedule and expectations for the upcoming game against the Schweiden Adlers. This is their first game with their two newest members and Coach Foster was confident the new plays and lineup they have practiced would be enough for the win. Coach Foster shifted gears excitedly to share his thoughts on the importance of knowing each other and why he forced everyone to complete the love language quiz. Atsumu mentally begs Coach Foster to continue talking so that he can keep resting his body. _I didn’t think it would be so intense, and I still have to ride back to get my car. How the fuck does he do this every day?_ He groaned quietly, feeling the soreness collected in his hamstrings and glutes. He looked up to find Sakusa was staring again, he flashed him a smirk that was answered with an eyeroll.

After Coach Foster’s dismissal the team hit the showers. Thankfully, no one suggested extra practice or any sets from Atsumu who needed a shower and a nap. He let the scalding water assault his body and relax his muscles. He didn’t even realize the amount of time that passed until he noticed there was no one else in the locker room. A bubble of panic settled in his stomach, _fuck, what if Shoyo-kun left?_ He dries off his body and hair violently before throwing open his locker to get his clothes out. He stops, frozen by the sight of a cold sports drink sitting in front of his gym bag. A large smile spreads over his face, his heart swells and he feels like he might cry but he doesn’t exactly know why. _This feels like when Kita-san made me go home the time I was sick and made me a care package. Did Shoyo-kun realize how tired I was?_ He takes a huge gulp, thankful for the blue blast of energy, before throwing on his clothes quickly.

As he makes his way out of the building, the last remaining drops of anxiety from possibly being left behind evaporate when his eyes meet Hinata’s.

Hinata smiles cheerfully from where he leans on the bike rack, “Are you feeling better, Atsumu?”

Atsumu feels his cheeks warm, “mhmmn, that shower and drink were just what I needed. Thanks by the way!”

Hinata watches as Atsumu pulls the drink out of his bag as an explanation. He lets out a shy chuckle, “I’m really glad you feel better, but I wasn’t the one to get that for you, sorry.”

Atsumu looks at Hinata like he’s speaking another language, “ya didn’t?”

Hinata shakes his head as he speaks, “no, it wasn’t me. I was going to suggest stopping at a convenience store on the way back.”

Atsumu purses his lips thoughtfully, “oh... Well any way, yeah I do feel better.”

Hinata gives him a small concerned smile, “are you sure you’re okay to ride back?”

Atsumu takes a step forward, “ya, m’sure. Might need another shower when I get home, but I can do it.”

Hinata’s brows bunched together unconvinced, “we can take a cab, or you can ride with me if you want?”

Atsumu’s cheeks warmed briefly, imagining himself seated awkwardly behind Hinata, holding onto his shoulders or waist. The sweet thoughts were tainted by the memory of seeing Kageyama seated in the same position. _That’s not me, we’re makin new moments, together_. He shook his head, “I can make it, unless yer in a rush to get home? Ya don’t have to wait fer me.”

Hinata shook his head violently, “no Atsumu, that’s not it at all! I would never do that. I like spending time with you, I just don’t want you to get sick again because of me.”

Atsumu reached out to ruffle the orange hair sticking straight up, “Don’t ya worry, I know my limit. Lets go.”

…

Hinata leads them back to his home easily. The ride back was smooth and there was no invisible pressure from needing to be somewhere on time. There were more smiles and playful teasing pushing them forward. Hinata took many mental pictures including one of: Atsumu’s profile, illuminated by the falling sun; the full tooth grin he gave when he would ride with no hands for more than four seconds; and the way Atsumu would reach up to rip leaves off low branches with uncontrollable laughter. Hinata savored every moment, they tasted like honey and sweat.

When they arrived at his house, his heart was full and his cheeks were sore from smiling the entire ride home. As he dismounted his bike Hinata realized he didn’t want the day to end. He watched Atsumu load up his own bike on his car and place his things in the back seat.

Hinata cleared his throat and smiled as confident as he could manage, “Do you want to have dinner with me? I can cook us up some food. I can’t have you leaving with an empty stomach.”

Atsumu’s heart skipped a beat at the invitation, “yah, that would be er—nice.”

Hinata grabbed Atsumu’s hand and led him inside. He could hear Kenma’s stream in the other room, thankful his friends weren’t in the living room to comment on his flushed cheeks.

Hinata guides Atsumu to a stool near the kitchen, “wait here a sec, I’m going to let my roommate know I’m home.”

Atsumu smirks and gives Hinata a lazy salute, “yes, sir.”

Hinata giggles and makes his way to Kenma’s stream room. He pokes his head in, getting his friend’s attention.

Kenma pauses his game and mutes his mic, “everything okay Shoyo? You’re home late.”

Hinata smiles, “I’m home, sorry to bother. I just wanted to let you know Atsumu is here. I’m gonna make dinner, do you want something?”

Kenma purses his lips to hide his smile, “Atsumu?”

Hinata blushes, “yes, Atsumu. So are you hungry?”

Kenma chuckles, “I could eat. You can close the door if I was being too loud. Also, we are going to talk about this development later.”

Hinata hums a response. Kenma calls out as the door shuts, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Hinata blushes as he meets Atsumu again who clearly heard Kenma’s warning, “He’s kidding.”

Atsumu gives him a wink, “I hope not.”

…

Hinata leaves Kenma with a bowl of stir-fried vegetables and rice before returning to eat his own bowl with Atsumu. Atsumu and Hinata eat on the floor in the living room, sitting shoulder to shoulder as they lean on the couch and watch an episode of Parks and Rec after Atsumu demanded Hinata start the series. Hinata loved it, the show was funny and he loved hearing Atsumu cackle at the ridiculous problems the characters dealt with.

As they began cleaning up, the comfortable silence was interrupted by Atsumu who felt he was overstaying his welcome, “I should probably head out Shoyo-kun, thank you for dinner.”

Hinata’s brain tried to come up with a reason for the evening to continue but remembered Atsumu must be exhausted, “Okay Atsumu, let me walk you out.”

The sun was long gone, the air had cooled enough for Hinata’s arms to collect goosebumps. They stood on the porch awkwardly, neither wanting to say goodbye.

Hinata bit his lip, “Thank you for spending time with me Atsumu, I had a lot of fun”

Atsumu chuckled, “It was my pleasure, sorry I was so slow.”

Hinata giggled, “you still think you could challenge me in a race?”

Atsumu’s mouth popped open, _the audacity_ , “’course I can! Just maybe less distance.”

Hinata laughed, “sure, sure. See you at practice?”

Atsumu smiled, “I’ll see you _here_ tomorrow morning, no bikes though.”

Hinata’s protests were stopped by Atsumu’s hands placed on either side of his face. Atsumu smirked, “wasn’t a question. We have’ta be there early so let me save ya a few minutes. ‘Kay?”

Hinata nodded with a pout from wanting to argue but having his cheeks pressed together by Atsumu, “mmmmkay”

Atsumu’s eyes softened as he pulled Hinata’s face closer to his own slowly. Hinata closed his eyes in anticipation. He felt soft lips gently press against his own. Atsumu’s kiss was sweet and slow, like it was his last one and he had been saving it for a special occasion. Hinata melted into the touch, his arms moved from his sides to work their way into Atsumu’s surprisingly soft hair. He shifted onto his toes to further press into the taller man. Atsumu released Hinata’s face from his hands but not his lips. He wrapped his arms around Hinata’s waist and pulled him impossibly closer. A soft moan escaped Hinata’s eager lips and Atsumu swallowed it hungrily. The kiss became hurried and desperate, they both knew their day together was close to over. It was Atsumu who forced himself away, knowing if the kiss went on any longer, he wouldn’t be able to make the drive home.

He cleared his throat to collect his thoughts, “I’ll see ya tomorrow morning Shoyo-kun. Don’t miss me too much.”

Hinata was a bushing mess, “good night Atsumu, see you.”

Atsumu’s tinted cheeks betrayed the smirk on his swollen lips as he turned to finally go home.

Hinata was left standing on his porch looking after the blonde setter that took his breath away. _That’s not even fair, how is he so good at that?_ _What are you doing to me, Atsumu?_ He watched the shiny car until it was out of view and waited until the heat in his face had gone down before going back inside.

…

The following morning, and for the rest of the week, Atsumu drove Hinata to and from practice. Every morning Hinata would give Atsumu his thanks in the form of a small treat; some coffee, a banana, a muffin. Atsumu always acted like the treats were the greatest gift he could have asked for and gave Hinata an award-winning smile. Hinata enjoyed the time they spent together and found himself looking forward to practice even more than usual.

He looked forward to the drive home the most. Where he would pretend he didn’t notice how Atsumu took the long way home, enjoying the volleyball talk and exchange of smiles. Their evenings ended the same way. With Hinata thanking Atsumu repeatedly and Atsumu calming his nerves with his droopy eyes and a lick of his lips. Hinata felt rough fingers on his cheek pulling his face closer to meet soft pink lips. Every kiss began sweet and timid as if asking or permission. They blended easily, fully aware of the flush they wore on their cheeks. As the days went on the kisses became more desperate and wanting, the windows of Atsumu’s car would fog and the minutes seemed to slip away. A fire burned in Hinata’s gut when Atsumu would bite his lip during a kiss or he let his tongue explore Atsumu’s inviting mouth. The burning felt like the heat of the sun that slipped in through the window and woke him up in the morning.

As the days went on, only Hinata was strong enough to pull away in a panic with a flurry of apologies and wide eyes. He would grab his bag and wipe at his face as he opened the car door to step out until he felt a warm hand wrap gently around his wrist. Atsumu would pull him in again and give him a sweet peck on the lips to soothe his nerves and a playful lip-smacking kiss on Hinata’s forehead or cheek. When Atsumu pulled back it was always with a dazzling smile and a wish good night. Hinata would feel the air leave his lungs, as if it was the first time and wish him a safe drive. Hinata did his best to collect himself as he watched the car drive off, though the time they spent together never seemed to be enough but Hinata wasn’t brave enough to invite him inside again. This was a decision he would always regret as the adrenaline would wash away once he was inside the house.

Hinata could feel himself getting used to being around Atsumu. The setter began showing up even in his dreams, as a bright smile or droopy eyes on a stranger’s face. He loved making him laugh and smile with genuine feeling, _How can someone be this beautiful?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this short AtsuHina heavy chapter. The next chapter will include the game between MSBY and the Adlers. It will have many more dramatic moments that are taking me a while to write because *cracks knuckles* its about to go down.   
> If you have questions, want to share your art/thoughts, or want to vote in the next fic poll find me on twitter: <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>  
> Thank you for your comments, they literally push me to continue working on this monster of a fic. I appreciate your patience and continued support, I'm grateful for all of you. -V


	14. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once they separated Atsumu looked at him quietly with a sad smile, “Can I ask ya somethin’?”   
> Hinata felt worry come over him, “What’s wrong Atsumu?”   
> Atsumu cleared his throat, “What—what is this Shoyo? I mean us. What are we doin’?” 
> 
> Or: Atsumu asks Hinata for an answer. MSBY vs. Adlers game brings with it many feelings. Kageyama has something to say. Sakusa talks to Komori. The players go out for drinks, Hinata gets caught in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:   
> 6.5k+ words in this chapter   
> Pretty angst heavy depending on your tolerance so beware   
> I did what I could with the game description but I wont lie: it was hard.   
> Probably too many perspective descriptions in this chapter but just bare with me, everyone matters in one way or another   
> This is not exactly canon compliant, I did my best to reference the manga but changed things as I saw fit to bring out the *drama*.   
> (If that doesn't float your boat feel free to skip that part and pick up with the post game narratives.)

**Friday: The day before the game**

Hinata watched the week go by in a flash of grueling practices and passionate kisses, both of which left him breathless. Though the trainings leading up to the game were more intense than they had been, he somehow felt more energized. Even so, he was thankful that MSBY had their last practice on Thursday to rest their bodies for the game they expected to be a challenge.

The team left for Miyagi early Friday morning to settle into the hotel near the stadium and get some proper rest before their first game of the season. Hinata had been anxious the whole bus ride with anticipation, there was a strange feeling in his gut. A mixture of comfort from being back in Sendai but the unknown of what was to come. Bokuto and Atsumu spent the entire ride eagerly coaching him through what to expect during his first game with the Black Jackals.

Hinata watched his excited teammates speak freely and it made his heart swell, _how did I get so lucky?_ He was especially thankful for the lack of change in his on-court relationship with Atsumu, they were still in sync during practices and had perfected a move they had worked on for months. It seemed like as soon as they entered a gym or an official team event, they both went about their business and did not let any personal feelings get in the way of their performance as players. The secret smiles and knowing winks Atsumu gave him during practices were nothing new or out of the ordinary. The only difference Hinata could see was in the way Atsumu would give him criticism, he never seemed to lash out at him though the rest of the team wasn’t always so lucky. Overall, Hinata found comfort in the fact that the friendship between them that had been there since he first joined the team was unchanged.

After settling into their individual rooms, an unexpected treat from hotel management, the Jackals enjoyed the hotel amenities together including the heated indoor pool and spa available to all guest. The night ended with a team dinner consisting of delicious food and inspiring speeches from their coach and captain to start off their season. Hinata took in the words eagerly, still not believing he was finally here.

…

Once the team was dismissed, Atsumu walked Hinata to his room, it was the first time all day they were alone. The walk was quiet and if they were being honest, they were exhausted.

Hinata spoke as they arrived at his room, “This is me, thank you for walking me Atsumu. Have a good night.”

Atsumu raised his hands slightly and Hinata fell into them. They shared a brief embrace that felt comfortable but different from the other physical touches they had shared throughout the week.

Once they separated Atsumu looked at him quietly with a sad smile, “Can I ask ya somethin’?”

Hinata felt worry come over him, “What’s wrong Atsumu?”

Atsumu cleared his throat, “What—what is this Shoyo? I mean _us_. What are we doin’?”

Hinata’s lip began to tremble slightly, he knew this was coming. Atsumu had been kind enough to not pressure him with an answer but it had been almost a week since he shared his feelings with Hinata. The feeling of guilt became overwhelming.

Hinata couldn’t meet his eyes, “Atsumu I—I’m sorry—”

Atsumu used a long finger to lift Hinata’s chin until he finally looked up, “did ya think ‘bout what I said?”

Hinata looked into sad honey eyes and felt his heart break, his own eyes became wet with emotion. He began to ramble, “Atsumu I—I don’t have an answer for you. I—I’m sorry. There are still some things I have to take care of… within myself, that I haven’t been able to—I mean before I give you a definite answer.”

Atsumu’s eyes went cold, he released Hinata’s face and did his best to hide the anger in his voice, “By _things_ ya mean Kageyama, don’t ya?”

The words caught Hinata off guard, he stood quietly with wide eyes, trying to find words.

The silence frustrated Atsumu even more, his insecurities burning, “So what’s gonna happen when ya see him tomorrow? What about me? I thought we had a good week together! I thought we— do—do you even like me??”

Hinata stares at him in disbelief, “Atsumu of course I like you, I just—”

“Then why can’t you give me an answer??” Atsumu interrupted.

Hinata shook his head and sighed, “I just need a little more time to—”

“For Kageyama to come back??” Atsumu couldn’t stop interrupting when Hinata wasn’t giving him answers fast enough. 

Hinata felt something resembling anger at not being heard, “Atsumu, please!”

He placed both hands on Atsumu’s face catching him by surprise, “Just listen! Okay??”

Atsumu nodded, his furrowed brow showing his emotion.

Hinata cleared the emotion from his throat, “I—I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. That doesn’t mean I don’t cherish all the time we spent together; I do. It just—it means that I don’t know. All I know right now is that I want us to win our game tomorrow. This is what I’ve been working for all these years and it’s all I can think about. Its not about you or Kageyama. It’s about _me_ and volleyball, and whether or not all my sacrifices and tears were worth it. Its selfish of me, I know. And I know it’s not fair of me to ask you to wait, so I won’t do that to you. You deserve an immediate answer, but I just can’t give that to you right now. And if that’s not okay with you then I understand, you don’t need to explain yourself, and you don’t need to wait for me. Especially not when it’s my fault and _I’m_ the one being selfish.”

Hinata took in a huge breath after throwing up what felt like incoherent thoughts, “Atsumu, I really appreciate everything you’ve done to show me you care; it really does mean so much to me… But—you said you would be there for me in any way I needed you to be, and right now… I need you to be my teammate, my setter. Do you—do you think that’s okay?”

Atsumu took in Hinata’s blazing eyes and nodded, “for now.” He was far from satisfied with the response, but he could deal with being his teammate for another day if it meant he was coming second because of volleyball and not Kageyama. 

Hinata let go of his face with a whisper, “I’m sorry, Atsumu.”

Atsumu gave him a plastic smile, “see you tomorrow, Hinata.”

Hinata watched with a heavy heart as he walked away, pretending it didn’t hurt to hear his family name spoken with such indifference.

…

Atsumu entered his own room with a slam of his door. As Friday had gone on, he became more and more impatient with Hinata. The week had gone too quickly, Atsumu felt like he needed more time, to lay more groundwork with Hinata that Kageyama could not overshadow. He thought that Hinata would respond differently when asked about his feelings outright, though jealousy clouded his vision and made Hinata’s words difficult to believe. _I know he likes me; I know that. Then why does it feel like I can’t catch a fuckin’ break? He didn’t say no though, that’s good right? I can be his setter; I can get through the game. Hinata just said he can’t focus on anyone outside of volleyball right now, that includes everyone, right?_

…

**Saturday Arrives: Game Day**

As they took a shuttle to the stadium, Hinata felt every nerve in his body shake with anticipation. Though his night ended with more emotions than he would have expected; his exhaustion, a warm bath, and melatonin helped him fall asleep more easily on the crisp hotel sheets. _This is it; the game is finally here. I made it. All my hard work and struggles weren’t for nothing. I guess I hadn’t noticed how bad I wanted this. I can’t believe it; I took a detour but I’m here now… I’m here. And on top of it being my debut what are the chances it would be against the Adlers… Finally, I’ll finally get to play against Kageyama in an official match again… I still remember my first official match like it was yesterday, it almost feels like the years just flew by, but so much has changed since that game._

…

The teams had been warming up, the air was tense with excitement from both the spectators and players. Everyone was equally excited and nervous, knowing the game would be a challenging one.

Hinata felt giddy, there were butterflies in his stomach. _Being in this stadium is so nostalgic, it almost makes me feel like I have to… okay let me go just to make sure_! Hinata snuck off as smoothly as possible to got to the restroom before the start of the game. He wasn’t sure whether he was just nervous or needed to pee, but he didn’t want to risk it and have to leave for even a minute during the game.

He made his way down the hallway happily and was about to enter the restroom when a familiar voice interrupted him, “Your stomach gonna be okay today?”

A smile took over Hinata’s face as he turned to meet familiar blue eyes. A wave of memories bombarded them, the reminder of previous failures tasting like metal in Hinata’s mouth. The tension was palpable, they stare at each other with challenge in their eyes, smirks daring the other to speak first. 

Kageyama’s smile grew wider as he spoke first, “I’ve been waiting for you, ever since that spring in second year. Can we ta—”

Hinata pretended not to see the way Kageyama’s eyes softened before he interrupted, “I’m not the same person I was before, the me who would get sick before a match is long gone.” A feeling resembling anger began to bubble deep within his heart.

Kageyama pursed his lips unconvinced, “I can see that, I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be, idiot.”

Hinata couldn’t help but feel younger at the familiarity of the man in front of him. He couldn’t keep it in when his chest filled with the need to argue, “Now I can even beat you at arm wrestling!”

Kageyama watched him flex a muscular bicep. He chuckled at the audacity and regained his composure, “Shall we test that? And what if I win?”

Hinata noticed the slight change in Kageyama’s intense eyes but refused to back down, _where is he going with this_? “How about after—"

Hinata is cut off when he sees Kageyama visibly tense and feels an arm settle on his shoulder, a familiar smell fills his nostrils. _What’s Atsumu doing here?_ He looks between the two setters staring daggers at each other.

Atsumu wears a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and uses the most playful voice he can manage, “hey Tobioooo-kun, don’t tell me yer tryin’ to start a fight with _my_ spiker?”

Kageyama tenses at the claim, his eyes shift between Atsumu’s face and the arm he has the audacity of placing on Hinata. He unknowingly gnaws at his lip before collecting himself, “I’m not starting anything. Just finishing it.”

Before Hinata can try and defuse the visible tension, Bokuto interrupts with an entirely off topic understanding of the conversation taking place. Followed by Ushijima, Hoshiumi, and finally Sakusa. The rest of the interactions are a blur for Hinata who is still reeling from the previously tense showdown between the setters. He finds himself interacting with the others on autopilot and does his best to appear his regular self.

He doesn’t snap back to reality until he sees Atsumu on the ground after completely missing his joke, “that was funny, Atsumu!” It did not work in making him feel better.

…

The cheers of the crowd and his high school friends fill Hinata with joy. He takes in the crowd and feels the intensity of the game double, _I’m gonna win_. He allows himself a glance at the opposing court as everyone takes their place and finds blue eyes blazing. His feet move of their own will towards the net, he finds himself standing directly in front of Kageyama who stares at him with a look Hinata can’t place.

Kageyama’s lips form a smirk as he extends a hand towards Hinata’s side of the net, an invitation. Hinata’s breath hitches at the genuine acknowledgment, he meets the open hand with his own and accepts the challenge with a smile. The handshake is full of unspoken words making their skin tingle and a fire blaze within their hearts. They both wanted closure, the need to win kept them from letting go of the other.

Kageyama noted how Hinata’s index finger slowly drew its way across his wrist. giving him the courage to speak, “I’ve been waiting for you, Boke.”

Hinata’s brows came together, “I’m here.”

Kageyama’s eyes softened, “I know. I need t—”

“Shoyo-kuuun!” Atsumu yelled from across the court, effectively ruining the moment. The old rivals released their hands immediately and returned to their respective teams with thoughtful faces.

Hinata caught the end of a conversation Atsumu was having with Sakusa and Bokuto about the serve rankings. He does his best to comfort him, “Even if it is below Kageyama’s in the ranking, your serve is still amazing Atsumu!”

Atsumu was visibly upset though he tried to hide it behind a fake smile, “Rankings are everything in this world… second place is just the first loser!” He wasn’t just talking about serves, watching Hinata and Kageyama together put him in a bad mood, his insecurities getting the best of him _. I can’t let them—I can’t—I can’t let Kageyama ruin what we’ve built. I have to win this. We have to win this._

…

Kageyama prepares for his opening serve. He pushes his feelings down and focuses on the task at hand, winning this game. As he puts all his strength into his serve, directed at the source of his competitiveness he can’t help but wonder if Hinata has noticed his growth. _I’m not the same as I was then either_. 

The serve is flawless, a powerful sight many would have considered an automatic point. But Hinata was ready and hungry, he was able to get under it and receive it. Kageyama can’t help but smile in admiration.

Atsumu finds himself feeling a sense of calm overtake him. He smiles in satisfaction as he watches Hinata rush to the net, trusting Atsumu with himself. _That’s right. Its me he plays with. Its me who sets for him. Its me who’s been with him the past week. It’s us who will win. Let’s give him a proper greeting_.

Atsumu watches as Hinata puts his all into his jump, treating his set like it’s the most precious form of love and slams the ball perfectly. _There’s no better feelin’_.

Hinata feels happiness surge through his body as the crowd explodes around him, “I’m back!” Atsumu charges at Hinata and high fives him, Hinata fills his ears with praise and a laugh that makes it all worth it.

Kageyama smiles through the pain of losing the point and his spiker. “You’re late” he says to himself.

Atsumu is desperate to outshine Kageyama in more ways than one. Though he makes his way to serve and ends up hitting his serve outside the sideline, “fuck.” He grabs at his hair violently. _I need to get it together._ _Focus on the game, all that matters is winning, everything else can wait. Everything else comes second._ _Everything._

…

After missing Romero’s first serve that landed directly between Hinata and Sakusa, the second serve comes, they are hungry for it. Sakusa cuts in front of the shorter man and seethes, “Mine”

Sakusa painfully receives Romero’s serve, he wants the set, he earned the set. But Hinata is like lightning, he and Atsumu already know what the next play is, they’ve practiced it countless hours after regular training for months. Atsumu gives Hinata a perfect set, for a freak quick that would have appeared like a miracle to anyone who didn’t know these two. The only person on the court who had time to react was Kageyama who was part of the original quick. All he could manage was bumping it out of bounds. Hinata and Atsumu celebrated like maniacs as the crowd went wild. Atsumu jumped on Hinata’s back briefly and the shorter man let out a genuine laugh as he gleamed, “We did it Tsumu!”

Kageyama clicked his tongue in annoyance at his receive and the sight in front of him. He glared at the blonde setter who soon met his eyes with a smug look. Hinata did his best to ignore the silent curses between both setters and focus on the task at hand, _winning._

Sakusa focuses on the court and resetting his position instead of his teammates celebrating the point that was supposed to be his. A few deep breathes remind him that no one will affect his playing or his love for the game. _It feels good here._

As the game went on, feelings were quickly pushed aside and all the players focused on the game. There was no time to take note of what was going on in their personal lives even if they wanted to. Hinata felt at home on the court with his new team and proud of having made it onto the court in the first place, he was living his dreams, they all were.

…

The game ends with a win for MSBY. Kageyama and Hinata quickly gravitate towards the net, looking at each other from opposite sides. Both players are covered in sweat and vibrating with adrenaline.

Kageyama’s eyes are full of competitive envy as he looks at Hinata’s happy expression, “you made it.”

Hinata can’t help but respond with an even wider smile, “I’m here.”

Kageyama extends a hand below the net, Hinata takes it hesitantly. Without releasing their touch, Kageyama steps under the net to meet Hinata on his side of the court and pulls him into an embrace. Hinata’s nose is filled with a musky smell that transports him back to high school, filling his heart with a familiar ache. Kageyama tightens his arms around the shorter man’s waist hesitantly, damp orange hair tickling his face. They are interrupted by greetings from their high school friends.

Before pulling away, Kageyama whispers, “We have a lot to talk about, Boke. Wait for me, I’ll come find you later.”

**Meanwhile: Sakusa**

After the game Sakusa approaches Wakatoshi to rub in his win. Wakatoshi is surprisingly talkative and appears almost happy. _Of course, he’s a graceful loser_. Sakusa feels his face heat after receiving an unexpected compliment and drops his eyes, suddenly feeling much younger.

Wakatoshi clears his throat, “The teams are getting together for drinks later tonight, you should come. I will be there as well.”

Sakusa meets olive eyes, “I don’t know how I feel about being stuck in a bar with everyone.”

Wakatoshi stares intensely, “I will do my best to make it as enjoyable as possible for you, should you choose to attend.”

A small smile creeps on his lips, “I—I will consider it.”

Wakatoshi lets out a small chuckle, “Please do.”

**Meanwhile: Atsumu**

Atsumu feels a rush from the win they worked hard for, he takes a second to breathe. The first thing that catches his eye reminds him why he missed his first serve. He sees Kageyama pull Hinata into an embrace and it makes his mouth go dry. Jealousy courses through his veins as he takes in the disgustingly sweet sight, _well played Kageyama._ Part of him wants to scream and jump on them to ruin the moment, his rational half reminds him of the cameras and inevitable backlash he would receive. He could see the headline: _Attention Seeking Atsumu Effectively Ruins Rival Reunion: Can This Setter Survive Without the Spotlight?_ He clenches his jaw and looks away quickly considering his options. Thankfully when he looks back, he sees a few people go up to them, effectively breaking up the hug. _Thank you, universe_.

He begins walking towards where his usual victim would cool down but finds the corner empty. Atsumu scans the court for Sakusa, finding him talking to Ushijima near the Adler’s bench. A feeling of betrayal slowly collects in his chest, _not you too Omi_. He stares at the intimidating men have what appears to be the most boring conversation to ever exist, its more annoying than he is comfortable admitting. Atsumu clicks his tongue in defeat and walks towards the crowd where his trusty fans are more than willing to feed his starving ego.

…

**Saturday Night**

Sakusa sits in his hotel room after his post-game routine and remembers the invitation from Ushijima to meet for drinks with their teammates. Half of him wants to go, not want to spend the night cooped up when he has so much energy left and curious to see what Ushijima meant by making things _enjoyable_. The other half, the louder more obnoxious half, reminds him how terrible it would undoubtably be to leave the clean safety of his hotel room. His nose scrunches when he pictures his very loud teammates packed into a dirty bar consuming ridiculous amounts of alcohol.

He lays back on his bed and stares at the ceiling weighing the pros and cons for the tenth time. He’s only halfway through his lists when his phone begins vibrating. He feels a slight relief at the name on the display, “Motoya, I’ve been meaning to call you.”

His cousin laughs, “Yeah, yeah. That what you always say when I call, but I’m yet to see a single incoming call from you.”

A small smile plays on Sakusa’s lips, knowing he can’t lie to him, “and yet here we are.”

Komori cheerfully jumps into a conversation about the game and a promise to dig up Sakusa’s serves. Once the volleyball talk and family updates died down, his nosey cousin asked what had been on his mind for over a week.

“So… aren’t you going to tell me how it went?”

Sakusa paused, though he knew exactly what he was referring to, “how what went?”

“You know _wha_ t Kiyoomi!”

Sakusa pouts, “no, actually, I do not.”

Komori raises his voice, “Fine. Let me be clear then, how did your _date_ with Atsumu-kun go?”

Sakusa groans in response.

Komori cackles, “That bad?”

Sakusa rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe you knew and didn’t say anything.”

Komori giggles, “And I can’t believe _you_ didn’t tell me about it!”

“It wasn’t a big deal.” Sakusa explains.

Komori was relentless, “Then why did Atsumu-kun take the time to call me for advice?”

“You should have told me he called… what did you talk about?” Sakusa did his best to keep the curiosity out of his voice.

“I thought you said it didn’t matter.” Komori mocked playfully.

Sakusa could picture his cousin’s annoying smile, “Can you just tell me already?”

Komori laughed, “Okay, okay! He just called and ask me what kind of movies and food you liked, I told him you liked romantic movies and that grainy romcoms were your guilty pleasure. I told him you weren’t a picky eater you just liked having options. He asked about germs and stuff like that, but I told him it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. That’s pretty much it, I think. How did he do? Did you have a good time?”

Sakusa felt a sudden pain in his heart, “Yes, it was… a nice evening.”

“So, does that mean you’re going to go out with him again?” Komori asked.

“No.” Sakusa said quietly.

Komori was confused, “What? Why not??”

He needed to get the words out of his chest to finally accept them as truth, he had been holding on to them too long.

Sakusa did his best to keep his voice from wavering, “It was a one-time thing… He—he just needed a favor; he needed to get someone else’s attention and look less available, so he asked me to go on a date with him. And it worked, so… that’s good.”

Komori was quiet for a long time before asking, “are you okay?”

Sakusa let out a soft chuckle, “I don’t know, actually.”

Komori’s voice was soft, “that’s really messed up, I honestly wouldn’t have helped him if I would have kno—”

“It was my decision; I was the one that sad yes in the first place knowing what the end goal was.” Interrupted Sakusa.

“Well, what made you agree?”

Sakusa was a bit embarrassed, “I don’t know… I had been drinking and he was so excited about it. He tried to cancel it you know, but I didn’t let him. And then I had a really nice time and now its over. Things seem to be going well between him and the person he wants. So, it worked out I guess.”

Komori was unconvinced, “Okay Kiyoomi, if you’re not going to tell me the whole story then I’m just going to sit here until you’re ready to tell me how you really feel.”

Sakusa huffed out in frustration, “Does it really matter?”

“Of course it matters!” Komori sounded exasperated.

“It doesn’t change anything, none of it did.”

“So, you like him then” Komori said casually

Sakusa knew arguing with him was useless. He sighed in defeat, “ _Yes_ , Motoya. I do.”

“Since when?” Komori guided him

Sakusa pursed his lips, “ _Fine then,_ I’ll tell you. I mean he’s always been objectively attractive, but I wouldn’t say I _liked_ him. But it probably wasn’t a good idea to go on that date. We talked a lot more than we had before and he wasn’t as annoying as he usually is when he’s purposely being obnoxious. He’s not so bad one on one. And the date was… ugh honestly it was the best date I’ve ever been on. Everything was really thoughtful, he even gave me flowers, _flowers_! Can you believe that? And he was so fucking attentive Motoya it was… it was really _sweet_ , I guess is the word. For a second, I started to feel like he might _actually_ like me and that’s when I should have known I was fucked. The worst part is that it was so easy being around him, I thought we had fun, he seemed to be having a nice time and even said we should hang out more but then he said with the team and later asked me if I thought the other guy would like the date and it really did rub me the wrong way. _Then_ I fucked up, I couldn’t get his stupid face out of my head and I showed up to see him on his other date and it really messed me up because he looked so happy, it was so different from the way he was with me and it—it was— it fucking sucked. And I guess that’s it.”

Komori was quiet as he processed the words, “Well damn.”

Sakusa snorted out a laugh, “ _Ugh_ , I know.”

“That’s so messed up… what are you going to do now?”

“Nothing, I mean what can I do? He likes someone else. But it’s been a week now and I’ve started to accept it.”

Komori hummed, “so you’re not going to tell him?”

Sakusa considered it for a minute, “No, I don’t see a point. It wouldn’t change things anyway.”

Komori sighed, “It sounds like you need a drink.”

Sakusa let out a sincere chuckle, he had forgotten how good talking to Komori felt, “That reminds me, I saw Wakatoshi today, he invited me to the post game celebration thing they’re having but—”

“You have to go!” Interrupted Komori playfully, “it’ll take the other stuff of your mind, live a little! _PLuuuuus_ you don’t want to keep your favorite Wakatohi-kun waiting, do you??”

Sakusa felt a small smile play on his face, “maybe you’re right.”

…

***The Bar***

**Sakusa:**

After letting himself be harassed by his cousin, who had a hundred reasons he should take Wakatoshi up on his offer, Sakusa finds himself walking up to the bar entrance. The bar is lively and spacious but the number of athletes crowding around the various high-top tables makes the place appear smaller _. I can’t believe I actually let Motoya talk me into leaving my room._ Sakusa walks in cautiously, wondering if coming was a mistake, _what if he isn’t even here, am I too late?_ His eyes search the crowd until he finds Wakatosi who sits at a corner booth alone. Wakatoshi meets his eyes and calls him over with a serious wave of his hand and a soft smile as soon as he noticed him walking in.

Sakusa passes by a table Hinata, Atsumu, and Bokuto have claimed as their own. His teammates call out their greetings and he gives them a small nod before he settles beside Wakatoshi. Once seated, he takes in the strong man with beautiful olive eyes and he can’t help but catch his breath.

He clears his throat as he removes his mask, “Hello Wakatoshi-kun.”

Wakatoshi’s smile grows wider, “Hello, Kiyoomi. I’m glad you came.”

Sakusa gives him a shy smile in response, he watches eagerly as the other pours them icy green drinks from the pitcher sitting on their table.

**Hinata:**

Hinata downs his third drink and reaches for his fourth, he’s not exactly sure how they keep appearing at his table, but he is thankful nonetheless. His day has been longer than he could have expected but equally fulfilling _. I played my first D1 game, and we **won**_. The more drinks he had the bubblier he felt, he couldn’t believe the roller coaster of emotions brought on by the game and seeing his high school friends. Atsumu and Bokuto seemed equally excited and it warmed Hinata’s heart to hear them retell the thoughts they had during the game and make jokes about who got the most applause.

Even through the genuine feeling of happiness, there was a small fear of the moment ending at any second. There were a lot of unfinished conversations looming in his future. He felt cold blue eyes on him every few minutes but any time he glanced to find their owner, he found Kageyama looking away. _There’s supposed to be a lot to talk about, but you haven’t tried to speak to me even once since you got here._ Hinata reminded himself of the promise from earlier, “ _Ill come find you later_.” _That means the ball is still in your court, lets see if you follow through with your words._ Hinata shook his head and focused on his friends, Atsumu laughed at Bokuto’s reenactment of his no hands receive. Hinata watched the way Atsumu’s eyes crinkled as he threw his head back to laugh wholeheartedly. _He’s so cute_. A feeling of guilt spread throughout Hinata’s chest, _all I’ve done is hurt you Atsumu, I’m so sorry. I need to figure this out, I can’t keep doing this to you, you deserve better_. _You deserve an answer._

**Atsumu:**

Atsumu is having a good time, but if he’s being a hundred percent honest: he’s annoyed. Though he would usually enjoy an outing after a game, today feels different. All the emotions he had repressed earlier were bubbling their way out. He watched Hinata carefully and hated himself for second guessing the smiles and laughs as they all talked about the game. _Is this real? Would you rather be somewhere else?_ Atsumu hated the insecurity clouding his judgment but he couldn’t help it, he was feeling petty. He would regularly meet Kageyama’s eyes and wink or smile every time he leaned into Hinata or wrapped his arm around his shoulder. He did his best to enjoy himself and revel in the grimace on the younger setter’s face. _This is fine, he is sitting with me after all. Everything is fine._

Kageyama isn’t the only other player he was his eyes on, Atsumu often finds himself glancing over at the discreet conversation Omi and Ushijima were having. _What’s so funny Omi? Why are ya so giggly? Is that a blush I’m seein’??_ Atsumu is annoyed, with everyone but mostly himself for caring about any of his teammates who never seem to give a shit about him when it mattered. _Wait. What? No, everything is fine._

**Kageyama:**

Kageyama shifts his weight from one leg to the other, he is growing impatient. He hates seeing Hinata and Atsumu together, but most of all, he hates the smug look on Atsumu’s face. _Atsumu hasn’t left his side all night. I can’t just keep waiting for an opening… I can’t keep waiting… I have to—I have to just go over there and—and what?? Fuck._ Kageyama takes the shot sitting on the table that Hoshiumi had ordered for himself and ignores the bird like screeches he lets out in response to having his drink stolen as he marches towards Hinata’s table.

Bokuto immediately greets him happily as if he had been waiting for him all night, _God, I love Bokuto_. He watches Hinata’s eyes widen briefly before greeting him with a smile. Atsumu shifts closer to Hinata with the excuse of making space for Kageyama at the table.

Kageyama clears his throat, “hey guys, good game.”

Atsumu chuckles before giving him a challenging grin, “It sure was Tobio-kun, especially for us.”

Bokuto lets out a throaty laugh to try and dull the growing tension, “Hey hey hey! It was a _great_ game! Kageyama who do you guys play next??”

…

Hinata is tired and drunk. He is tired of watching the two setters give each other backhanded compliments and outright challenges. The drinks helped numb his growing frustration but now he has to go to the bathroom, _don’t break the seal_. This usually wouldn’t be a problem, but he’s scared of leaving the two setters with just Bokuto to run interference, so he ignores the growing pressure in his bladder.

When he can’t hold it any longer he downs his drink and sighs, “I’ll be right back.”

Kageyama watches the one person he’s wanted to talk to all day walk away. He counts out 15 seconds in his head, a socially acceptable amount of time, to wait before also leaving the table in the middle of Atsumu’s story with a mumbled “ _excuse me_.”

He makes his way to the back of the bar where a neon sign points towards the restroom and a conveniently placed screen door beside the restrooms leading outside. He considers following in after Hinata but decides to wait awkwardly just outside the door instead. As soon as he sees Hinata walk out of the bathroom he grabs a still damp hand and pulls him outside to what looks like an alley behind the bar. The space is clearly used for smoking, hence all the signs asking patrons to pick up cigarette butts and the convenient placed ashtrays on trashcans.

Hinata yelps in surprise at the pull of his hand and chilly night air on his face, “Kageyama, what ar—”

Kageyama glances around quickly and finds they are finally alone. He takes a deep breath and takes both of Hinata’s hands in his own shaking hands. Hinata’s eyes are wide and focused, waiting for an explanation.

When he finally meets Hinata’s eyes directly his lips tremble slightly, “Hinata. I—I have been trying to talk to you all day. I’m sorry it’s in this gross alley or whatever this is but we just kept getting interrupted. But now we are finally alone and its quiet and I can finally think straight.” He shakes his head to stop rambling and continues, “I really wanted to tell you that I—”

Atsumu pushes the screen door open with so much force it hits the outside wall with a loud crack, effectively killing the moment. He had been eaves dropping from inside and could no longer hold his tongue.

Hinata and Kageyama jumped slightly from the dramatic entrance and froze.

Atsumu feigned ignorance with a calculated smile and cheery voice, “what are ya’ll doin’ out here?”

Kageyama visibly tensed, speaking through gritted teeth, “We were in the middle of a conversation, could you give us a minute.”

Atsumu ignored the request and stepped closer, “Aw come on Tobio-kun, it’s getting cold out, come on back inside, next round is on me!”

Hinata watched the setters exchange glares. Atsumu placed a hand on his upper arm making Kageyama grip where he was holding his hands tighter as if they were both preparing to pull him in opposite directions.

Though Kageyama was trying to keep his emotions in check, his jaw was tight, “Miya-san—”

“M’sure whatever y’all were talkin’ about ya can continue inside, I’m just lookin’ out for the both of ya.” Atsumu interrupted with a sweet smile.

Hinata felt Atsumu pull at his arm lightly towards the door. He was stunned, his feet following slowly to keep him from falling. He glanced at Kageyama who was shaking his head in frustration after releasing one of Hinata’s hands. Hinata felt anger bloom in his stomach. In that moment he didn’t recognize either of them. Atsumu who had no consideration for the younger setter, refusing to even listen. Kageyama, who was about to let him go, again. Though he was the angriest with himself, for creating this situation in the first place. It was unfair that both of these people felt the same frustration because of him and his decisions.

He ripped his arms out of their reach and stepped back with newfound confidence, “Can you both just stop for a second?? I need to think!”

Both setters stared at him in silence with wide eyes.

Hinata shook his head trying to clear his thoughts, “I can’t keep doing this. Its not fair for anyone. I am sorry. To both of you, for my actions and for not being clear with either of you. I’m trying to figure this out too. This is all my fault. I just need—”

“Ya need to come back inside.” Atsumu childishly interrupted.

That pushed Hinata over the edge, “Atsumu please, _stop_.” He took a deep breath to calm down but felt more frustrated towards Atsumu who wouldn’t listen, “I—I need to talk Kageyama. _Alone_. None of us can move forward if I don’t hear what he has to say. The interruptions are not helping anyone.”

The air leaves Atsumu’s body as if Hinata had just punched him in the stomach, “w—what?’

Hinata’s voice is a whisper, “Atsumu I’m sorry. But please, _go_.”

Atsumu’s face goes blank for a few seconds before anger takes over his features, he wants to scream and punch his way out of this situation but the feeling of betrayal weights heavy in his heart. He balls up his fists before grunting, “fine, enjoy yer evenin’.” He slams the door again as he walks back inside leaving the other two alone. 

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support, your comments and kudos are literally the only reason I haven't quit this fic yet. <3   
> Thankfully we are near the end, I am estimating 2 or 3 more chapters but I don't want to write down an official number yet just in case.   
> I went ahead and posted the chapter because the more I stared at it the less satisfied I was with it but I was tired of changing it over and over again so I just needed to stick with it and move forward lol There was just so much I wanted you guys to know but I didn't want to post another extremely long chapter so I apologize for choppy transitions. I should probably stop giving characters 500+ word monologues, but I don't want to.   
> Tell me how bad I'm doing here:
> 
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on twitter:
> 
> **  
> <https://twitter.com/stayvgolden>  
>  **
> 
> Your comments and kudos keep me going <3 thank you for your continued support.  
> I will do my best to update every couple of weeks but my job is picking up. Thank you for patience. 
> 
> This is my first fic so I apologize for the rough writing and any spelling or grammar mistakes. The format and style may change as the chapters go on since I'm still trying out different layouts/formatting until I find something I like.


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